Trump is pushing Republicans to fall in line behind his agenda. Chip Roy could stand in the way
Acidly: In a dramatic twist worthy of a soap opera, Rep. Chip Roy has journeyed from Trump’s beloved to GOP's bane. While Trump flexes his muscles for his grand “megabill,” Roy, the obstinate fiscal hawk, boldly declares it needs reform or he won't play ball. Meanwhile, his colleagues, more interested in retaining power than principles, shuffle nervously. The real show? Trump, flustered and furious, might actually have to sweet-talk Roy into submission. Who said Congress wasn’t entertaining?
U.S. Ambassador Huckabee is 'outraged' at European leaders for condemning Israel
Acidly: In a delightful twist of geopolitical absurdity, U.S. ambassador Mike Huckabee is outraged—yes, outraged—that Britain, France, and Canada dared criticize Israel's latest bombardment of Gaza. He seems to believe that Israel should be applauded for expanding the death toll beyond 1,200, while those pesky Europeans should brush up on history (maybe a little less WWII, huh?). Meanwhile, aid trickles in as a cruel joke, and the death toll climbs to 53,000. But hey, who needs civility when you have righteous fury?
Italy tightens rules for Italian descendants to become citizens
Acidly: Italy's bright idea? Making it harder for its diaspora to snag passports. Forget dreaming of Roman vacations if your great-great-grandfather was Italian but didn’t have a birth certificate. Now, it's about direct lineage from parents or grandparents—because who knew having an ancestor counted for nothing? They claim this will ease the backlog of 60,000 applications. Apparently, Italians abroad are just too "commercial." Citizens must prove their "serious" connection—because nothing says love for heritage like bureaucratic hoops.
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Longtime Colts owner and CEO Irsay dies at 65
Acidly: Jim Irsay, the eccentric Colts owner and wannabe rock star, is dead at 65, presumably after exhausting his body with a lifetime of otherworldly highs and lows. Remembered as a colorful billionaire with a penchant for both fan giveaways and personal chaos, he leaves behind his daughters and a legacy of increasingly desperate Super Bowl dreams. Let’s not forget his more significant achievement: turning addiction into a passion project. So, what do the Colts do now? Hand the reins over to his equally confused daughters. Cheers!
Sean 'Diddy' Combs trial day 12 recap: Jurors hear from expert witnesses and Diddy's former assistant
Acidly: In the never-ending circus that is Sean "Diddy" Combs' trial, a former assistant's testimony pulls back the curtain on the rapper’s backstage antics. Kaplan painted a picture of debauchery, detailing his role in setting up drug-fueled "freak offs," complete with candles and baby oil. But hey, who needs life in prison when you have your former assistant cleaning up metaphorical (and literal) messes? With other witnesses lined up, including Kid Cudi, one can only wonder if this will become an inconvenient new chapter in Combs' "music career."
Never-before-seen 'extreme' microbes surrounded NASA robot before it was sent to Mars 18 years ago, new study reveals
Acidly: NASA’s clean room: where a Mars lander was supposed to undergo a sterile prep, but instead hosted 26 party-loving extremophile bacteria. Yep, while you thought we’d perfected cleanliness, these hardy little microbes were like, “space? Bring it on! We’re practically built for it!” Good news: there’s no evidence of contamination—yet. How nice of them. Our quest for extraterrestrial life might just hinge on surviving filth tucked away in sterile boxes. Who knew cleaning could be so overrated?
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The Real Reason Why OpenAI Spent $6.5 Billion on Jony Ive's AI Startup
Acidly: OpenAI’s buying spree for Jony Ive’s io isn’t about crafting the next shiny gadget; it’s a desperate ploy to dodge the stranglehold of tech giants. Why pay Apple billions for distribution when you can get the mastermind of the iPhone to whip up your own toys? Sure, it’ll cost an arm and a leg, but who wouldn't want to roll the dice on a billion-dollar hardware gamble, hoping for a direct connection with users? Meanwhile, Google's sitting pretty, integrating AI into everything—while Altman sweats in the corner. Good luck, Sam!
Google I/O 2025 recap: AI updates, Android XR, Google Beam and everything else announced at the annual keynote
Acidly: Ah, Google I/O, where the company dazzles us with shiny AI toys while demanding $250 monthly for the privilege. Can't wait for that chatbot in Search to hold my hand while I shop for overpriced athleisure. AI Mode will now calculate my life decisions—because logic is clearly overrated. Remember when search results were just links? Yeah, those were the days. And don’t forget Google Meet's real-time translation; perfect for when you don't want to hear your colleague's bad jokes in any language. Cheers to a tech future that feels painfully familiar!
First FDA-cleared Alzheimer's blood test could make diagnoses faster, more accurate
Acidly: So, here’s the twist: a new blood test for Alzheimer's has been approved, promising to revolutionize diagnoses. Yay! Now, doctors can correctly label only 90% of cases instead of a measly 60%. Because what we really needed was a bureaucratic stamp on a test that’ll put more old folks on the Alzheimer's train. Don't worry, rural areas will finally join the party too! In the end, more people in denial will cheerfully gather their amyloid plaques while the rest of us pretend to care. How heartwarming!