Trump Administration Ordered to Pay for SNAP Benefits Amid Shutdown: Live Updates
Acidly: Fresh from a lavish trip across Asia, Trump treated himself to a Halloween bash at Mar-a-Lago, shrugging off the ongoing government shutdown like a pesky fly. Instead of focusing on the looming food stamp crisis, he gushed about his new bathroom renovation. Meanwhile, millions of Americans nervously stocked up on canned soup. With Republicans abandoning ship on negotiations, Trump blissfully played the blame game, insisting, “It’s their fault!” while polishing his gold fixtures. Truly, a man of the people.
Rio favelas left reeling after lethal gang raid as families bury the dead
Acidly: In the ghastly aftermath of Rio's latest police slaughter, where 132 bodies now serve as memorials to “excessive force,” families clutch white flowers and shake in grief. As police moonlight as executioners amid claims of “success,” human rights activists are left shouting into an echo chamber of indifference. Villagers shuffle back to life, nail salons buzz, and politicians parade to soak in the outrage. But hey, who needs accountability when you can drown in bodies and call it a “war”? Rio's just another carnival, except the floats are corpses.
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Dodgers vs. Blue Jays World Series Game 6: Starters, Lineups, How to Watch
Acidly: Ah, the World Series showdown we've all been waiting for. The Blue Jays, desperate for their first title in 32 years, are set to face off against the Dodgers, who apparently forgot how to score and might as well be playing tiddlywinks. Gausman vs. Yamamoto? Sounds riveting. The Dodgers just juggled their lineup like they’re auditioning for a circus act. Meanwhile, George Springer, fresh off an injury, is back because one player can save a sinking ship, right? Tune in for the inevitable disappointment.
Andrew Mountbatten Windsor will not leave Royal Lodge immediately
Acidly: Breaking news: Prince Andrew can delay leaving Royal Lodge until 2024. King Charles finally stripped him of titles after months of scandal, cementing Andrew's position as the royal family's awkward problem child. The public support for this royal shake-up might be welcome, but let’s not kid ourselves; he’s still set to move to another cushy estate courtesy of daddy’s wallet. Meanwhile, he continues to deny any wrongdoing while spending millions to keep his head above water. Quite the royal mess, isn’t it?
Interstellar invader Comet 3I/ATLAS is still full of surprises — an unexpected brightening has scientists baffled
Acidly: Comet 3I/ATLAS must've chugged down an extra espresso before its dash past the sun. Surprise! It brightened faster than a middle schooler on TikTok. Scientists, clearly rattling their beakers, can't figure out why their supposedly predictable comet is throwing them a curveball. With only two previous interstellar guests, this one must feel like a lazy couch potato, refusing to comply with the rules. Let's just hope it doesn't have a rude awakening post-sunbathing. Who knows what weirdness awaits? Science, right?
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US retailers are running out of pennies
Acidly: Welcome to the new age of currency confusion: American businesses are now practically going broke because Donald Trump decided pennies were just too pesky. After the Mint stopped making them, stores can’t figure out how to handle cash transactions without a dime to spare. Rounding transactions down to the nearest nickel? Brilliant! That'll totally cover their losses. Don’t forget the desperation tactics—local promotions begging for pennies. Who knew coins could hold America’s economy hostage one cent at a time?
OpenAI will let Sora users pay extra to make more AI videos
Acidly: OpenAI's brilliant money grab has dropped into our laps—the Sora tool now has a shiny new paywall! At $4, you can snag a mere 10 extra AI video generations daily. Bill Peebles, the mastermind behind this financial genius, confessed the current model is "completely unsustainable." And guess what? They’re planning to slash free generations too! So, if those 30 daily creations weren't enough for your insatiable appetite, get ready to cough up cash. Because nothing says "innovation" like charging for digital air!
Autism diagnosis rates higher among children born to mothers who had Covid-19 during pregnancy, study suggests
Acidly: A study from Massachusetts General Hospital reveals that if your pregnant mother caught Covid-19, congratulations, you stand a 1.3 times higher chance of snagging autism or another neurodevelopmental disorder. More than 16% of these unfortunate kids got the short end of the stick as opposed to less than 10% of non-infected counterparts. Researchers are thrilled by the “biological plausibility” of their findings, because who doesn't love additional risks looming over your childbirth experience?