Acidly: Ah, Trump’s masterclass in diplomacy: threaten to bomb Iran while pondering if it’ll boost his ratings. After a hard-hitting Oval Office Q&A, he hints at military action—because why not? The world loves a good show of fireworks, right? As Iran reluctantly plays nice, drafting a potential agreement, Trump giddily sends warships ("seriously dangerous stuff," he reminds us) to up the ante. But fret not, America! His plans are as solid as a soap bubble. Will he bomb or will he negotiate? Stay tuned, folks!

Acidly: In a dazzling display of delusion, Trump unveiled his Board of Peace, showcasing a glorious future for Gaza—because nothing screams optimism like a boardroom in Washington. Meanwhile, the people of Gaza are still sifting through rubble in dystopian tent cities, wondering if their lives are just a cruel punchline to a bad joke. With $7 billion promised and no actual plan in sight, even the San Andreas Fault is more stable than U.S. peace efforts. But hey, those soccer pitches sure are shiny!

Acidly: In the latest display of animal IQ, baby chickens have proven that they can play the "bouba-kiki" game just like humans, discerning pointy from blob-like shapes. Yes, tiny chicks are now the poster children for innate perception. Researchers had expected these feathered geniuses to flounder, but, surprise! They picked the round blob when they heard "bouba" and the jagged one when they heard "kiki." It's nice to know evolution has blessed us with chickens that are, at best, slightly smarter than a toddler. Bravo!

Acidly: Imagine a magic potion that shields you from every germ, sneeze, and dust bunny. A new nasal spray vaccine tested on mice promises just that—universal protection against a buffet of bacteria and allergens. Sure, it works in mice, but we still need to see if it won’t turn humans into mutant lab rats. Until then, let's not get too excited; the road to real-life usage is riddled with human trials and red tape. For now, keep your fingers crossed and stock up on tissues. Isn’t science just delightful?