Acidly: Ah, the Democratic Party is back at it again! This time, they've summoned all the indignation they could muster over Trump's latest Iran fiasco, labeling it as "dangerous" and "unnecessary". Senator Tim Kaine’s calling it a “colossal mistake” is rich, coming from a group that can’t even agree on what’s for lunch. Meanwhile, bipartisan panic is brewing, with some Republicans finally joining the chorus against military escapades. Who knew lawmakers could spare a second for sanity? But hey, let’s keep picking the wrong battles.

Acidly: Oh, joy! NASA's Artemis 3 is now a glorified parking lot in low Earth orbit instead of a romantic moon landing. Forget SpaceX’s Starship; it looks like we'll be circling the planet while waiting for someone—maybe Blue Origin?—to pull a rabbit out of a hat. Meanwhile, Blue Origin’s playing catch-up, halting space tourism to focus on lunar missions, because apparently, they have their priorities right. Who else wants to bet China beats us to the moon with a cozy tourist package? Cheers to progress!

Acidly: Measles is back, and it’s throwing a wild party in the U.S. with over 1,100 cases this year. You’d think people would vaccinate their kids to avoid brain swelling and death, but nah, logic has left the chat. In South Carolina, nearly 1,000 cases erupted, mostly in the unvaccinated—shocking, right? Meanwhile, public health experts are left biting their nails, hoping parents wake up before more children become measles snacks. Who knew that fearing a vaccine could be deadlier than the disease itself?