Trump taps RFK Jr. to lead Department of Health and Human Services
Acidly: In a move destined to brew a storm, President-elect Trump tapped Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for the Health and Human Services crown. Because what screams "health" more than a climate of conspiracy theories? Kennedy vowed to "Make America Healthy Again" while aiming at the food industry's "deception." Expect a sprinkle of science, a dash of anti-vaccine rhetoric, and a full course of chaos. Who doesn't want a health czar with a track record of dubious claims? Trump's cabinet is shaping up to be a wellness wonderland!
New Zealand MPs disrupt parliament with haka to protest Indigenous treaty bill
Acidly: In a theatrical display of cultural pride, New Zealand's Maori MPs brought parliament to a temporary standstill with a haka, protesting a bill poised to redefine the historic Treaty of Waitangi. Because, why not disrupt democracy with a dance? While ACT leader David Seymour mouths off about unity, critics see his bill as a slap in the face to Maori rights—because who needs equity when you can have an outdated treaty reinterpretation? Meanwhile, over 20% of Kiwis gear up for a march to Wellington. Fun times ahead!
Italian president tells Musk to quit meddling in Italy’s politics
Acidly: Ah, Italy’s melodrama unfolds: President Mattarella, in a fit of national pride, caught wind of Elon Musk throwing unsolicited advice like a toddler in a candy store—telling judges to pack their bags over an anti-migration plan that’s already teetering on the edge of legality. Mattarella, with the dignity of a seasoned diplomat, retorted that Italy can manage itself. Meanwhile, Musk feigns deference while plotting his next eyewear venture. Meanwhile, migrants just wanna find a safe haven, obviously a foreign concept to many in power. What a circus!
The Good Ol'Ads
Eagles vs. Commanders odds, prediction, spread, time: Thursday Night Football picks by NFL model on 17-7 run
Acidly: In a thrilling NFC East showdown, the Washington Commanders, fresh off a nail-biting loss to the Steelers, face off against the soaring Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles, full of swagger after decimating the Cowboys, are favored by four points. Jalen Hurts is flexing his muscles as the star QB, while rookie Jayden Daniels tries to avoid becoming just another tragic tale in Commanders' history. Betting is a gamble, and if you’re clinging to the idea of Washington winning, you might want to double-check your sanity.
"Say Nothing" ambitiously breaks open a story of resistance and disillusionment during the Troubles
Acidly: "Say Nothing" gives us a crush of anxiety through Dolours Price’s wary eyes, capturing the pain of a woman caught between a chaotic history and her cozy life as a movie star's spouse. As an ex-IRA militant, her journey from setting off bombs to grappling with the consequences of violence speaks to a haunting familiarity. In a world that wants to forget the Troubles, Dolours reminds us that the past is as silent as a kid watching bullets fly. It’s heavy, grim, and let's face it, probably a hard pass for anyone seeking a light binge.
The Last Chance To See A Supermoon In 2024
Acidly: Hold onto your telescopes, folks! The grand finale of this year’s supermoon saga is upon us! After months of celestial showboating, November’s full moon will crash the party, leaving us all to gaze longingly at what used to light up our nights. So, set aside your mind-numbing scroll through social media and prepare for some true lunar excitement—because who doesn’t want to watch a giant rock float in the sky? Next month, it’s back to bland, regular moons. Enjoy the anticlimax!
The Good Ol'Ads
Fed Chair Jerome Powell Says No Need to ‘Hurry’ to Cut Rates
Acidly: Jerome H. Powell, the Fed's honcho, talked about our "healthy" economy like it's his beloved pet. Sure, low unemployment and spending are great, but let’s ignore the fact that the job market's headed south faster than your last relationship. Prices are still creeping up, just like that annoying colleague who won't stop talking about their workout. They’ll "carefully” consider cutting interest rates, as if that’s the magic cure to our economic woes. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Welcome to Fed-speak, where everything is status quo until it’s not.
First Google TV Streamer update is now available
Acidly: Google has finally rolled out an update for its Google TV Streamer, a whole month after its debut. But don’t get too excited; this 35.35 MB marvel does bug fixes no one asked for—pending issues remain unaddressed. Strangely enough, it keeps the ancient August 2024 security patch. Users are left twiddling their thumbs, waiting for real changes that never arrive. Your streaming experience will now be marginally improved—if you count waiting ages for an update as an improvement. Cheers, Google!
Want to live an extra 5 years? Those over 40 should exercise like this every day, researchers say
Acidly: Great news for the over-40 crowd: a recent study has found that if you break a sweat like the top 25% of Americans, you could add a glorious 5 years to your life. That's right, while your sedentary peers wither away, you could squeeze out those extra years by briskly strolling 3 miles a day—who knew that putting one foot in front of the other was such an elixir? Just 11 extra minutes of walking could shave nearly 11 years off your life expectancy. Think of it as a trade-off: exercise now or play dead later. Happy walking!