She went on vacation to Southern Italy and decided she’s never returning to the United States

Trump’s Tariff Threat Pits Canada Against Mexico

Acidly: So, Trump threatens hefty tariffs on Canada and Mexico, and voila! The divide-and-conquer plan is *sparking* drama. Mexico digs in its heels, ready to unleash its own tariff-hurling tantrum. Meanwhile, Canada plays the loyal puppy, whining about how much it loves the U.S., as if that’ll save its bacon. Three decades of diplomacy? Just a warm-up for the circus it’ll become. Fabulous job, guys—let's see how that delicate balance shatters like a piñata at a birthday party.

Live updates: Ceasefire between Israel and Hezbollah set to take hold in a matter of hours

Acidly: Oh, look, another tragic airstrike. This time, Israel found a cozy guesthouse in Lebanon and decided to make it a target, killing three journalists. Not just any journalists—those probably actually trying to report the disaster unfolding in a country that's like a broken record of violence. Human Rights Watch calls it a “war crime,” but who cares? America’s still itching to sell its finest bombs. Meanwhile, civilians huddle in hospitals praying they don’t become tomorrow’s headline. Welcome to the news, folks.

She went on vacation to Southern Italy and decided she’s never returning to the United States

Acidly: Michele Blackmon, 68, ditched her glamorous LA lifestyle for Lecce, Italy, after a post-Covid jaunt. “Why live in a palace when you can share a 400 sq ft apartment for $368?” she mused. Lecce’s “Baroque beauty” stole her heart; now she struts the streets like a local, claiming a spot among locals with a dinner schedule that makes her stomach grumble. Oh, and she’s starting a vineyard. Because why not? In a twist of irony, Michele swapped the American Dream for a slower-paced life. Welcome to her “second mayor” fantasy!

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Predicting the College Football Playoff rankings, bracket for Week 14

Acidly: As the College Football Playoff chaos descends, the top 25 teams jostle for position like kids in a mosh pit after a sugar rush. Oregon maintains its delicate crown, while Indiana clings to relevance despite a loss, thanks to the mess of three-loss teams dancing at the bottom. Meanwhile, Alabama and Ole Miss realize their playoff dreams are as dead as their defenses. Predictions? Just academic guessing games for the committee — sort of like predicting who'll trip first in a marathon of mediocrity. Enjoy your hopes!

Box Office: ‘Wicked’ Sings to Nearly $16M on Monday, a November Record

Acidly: Wicked has successfully usurped Frozen II in the Thanksgiving box office dominion, raking in $15.8 million on Monday alone. With a staggering $128.3 million domestically, it shattered records like a toddler in a fine china shop. Meanwhile, Gladiator II – because why not inflict more ancient carnage – managed a mere $5.5 million. As families flock to theaters during breaks, we brace for the onslaught of Moana 2. The holiday weekend is set to be a frenzied, money-sucking nightmare masquerading as festive fun. Enjoy!

ISS astronauts open hatch to Russian spacecraft after strange smell delays cargo delivery

Acidly: A Russian spacecraft finally docked at the ISS after an internet-worthy delay: a foul odor. Astronauts must be thrilled—nothing like a whiff of space garbage to kick off cargo unloading! NASA reports the smell was just “outgassing,” but let’s hope it wasn’t leftover borscht. Extra protective gear was worn as a precaution, though the ISS is supposedly safe from the stench. Meanwhile, the U.S. and Russian teams continue their lovely feud over a decade-long air leak. Ah, teamwork at its finest!

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Walmart becomes biggest company to roll back DEI policies

Acidly: Walmart's latest corporate makeover is a masterpiece of pandering to the rising tide of conservatism. Goodbye, racial equity center and any semblance of diversity in supplier contracts. Who needs quotas when you can just sweep everything under the rug? And let’s throttle those pesky LGBTQ+ initiatives. After all, nothing screams "belonging" like avoiding uncomfortable topics altogether. With 1.6 million employees, Walmart's redefining inclusivity into a bland, homogenous color. Who knew retail could be so savage?

More Galaxy S25 Ultra leaked images show off S Pen slot and One UI 7 [Gallery]

Acidly: Ah, behold the Galaxy S25 Ultra, the smartphone equivalent of a warmed-up pizza. Thanks to a leak from a now-deleted Reddit account—because we’ve all been waiting with bated breath for minor tweaks—like a slightly curved S Pen that’s more centered. Who knew the future of mobile tech hinged on that? More screens of One UI 7 reveal new icons, as if we needed another way to ignore our battery life. Don’t fret, folks; Samsung will slap a fresh coat of paint on the same old product in January. Excited yet?

Millions of Americans on Ozempic experiencing puzzling effect on their bodyfat levels

Acidly: Weight-loss drugs like Ozempic: the miracle we've all been waiting for... if you're one of the lucky ones! About 20% of users, including celebrities, are reporting *wait for it* weight gain. It seems some folks can eat their way through $800/month injections. Doctors say our bodies are just complex messes that won't respond as predicted—who knew? Meanwhile, the Biden administration is all in for Medicare coverage of these lucrative meds, despite ongoing skepticism. Isn’t modern medicine grand?