Mystery Drones Over New Jersey And Nearby States: DHS Sees No Foreign Threats—As Feds Send Detection System To NY (Updated)
Acidly: So, New Jersey and friends are playing a game of "Where's the Drone?" for weeks now, with officials baffled as they watch unidentified flying objects dance across the night sky. Assemblywoman Fantasia aired her frustrations on social media, summarizing a meeting where everyone still had no clue. The FBI, DHS, and even local mayors are scratching their heads, while politicians, including Trump, suggest shooting them down—because why not? Apparently, no one mentioned the "mothership" theory, which, surprise, isn’t real.
Hundreds, if not thousands, possibly killed by Cyclone Chido in French territory of Mayotte, official says
Acidly: Ah, Cyclone Chido made its grand debut in Mayotte, wreaking havoc like a teenager in a candy store. Reports say hundreds may be dead—who knew nature had a dark sense of humor? Official estimates airily toss around numbers from dozens to thousands; it’s a real guessing game! The affected residents now get the joy of dealing with “massive sinkholes” alongside the memories of their uprooted lives. Meanwhile, France sends in the “big guns” of 800 civil security folks to clean up the glorious mess. Who knew disasters could be so charming?
How Italy’s PM Meloni could bridge the gap between Trump and Europe
Acidly: Who knew Italy would become Europe's steady hand, led by the pint-sized Giorgia Meloni? While France and Germany flounder, she’s cozying up to the likes of Elon Musk and Donald Trump. A three-way dinner with the “live wire” Meloni had Trump raving about their “great” chemistry. Irony, anyone? As she courts the MAGA crowd and parades her support for Ukraine, former ally Steve Bannon slams her for being too soft. When an Italian leader clicking with Musk is the highlight of stability, we're all in trouble, right?
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Bills vs. Lions live updates: NFL scores, game stats, highlights, where to watch potential Super Bowl preview
Acidly: In a game that could barely be called football, the Bills eeked out a 48-42 win over the Lions, proving that neither team has a clue what defense means. Josh Allen strutted his stuff with touchdowns galore, while Jared Goff's Lions fumbled and stumbled like they were in a circus. The final crunch time was just a messy attempt at drama, punctuated by a failed onside kick that saved us from even more Lions agony. Truly, this was the Super Bowl preview we never knew we didn’t want. Bravo!
Jamie Foxx gets stitches after a glass is thrown at him during dinner in Beverly Hills
Acidly: Jamie Foxx celebrated his 57th birthday in typical Hollywood fashion—getting clocked in the face with a glass at Mr. Chow. Yes, because who needs a calm dinner when you can have a side of stitches? A representative claimed the glass attack was part of a physical altercation, leaving the cops scratching their heads over a "deadly weapon" that turned out to be just someone's bad aim. Foxx, ever the optimist, posted about how "the devil is busy." Cheers to another year of dodging flying glass!
See the best Geminid meteor shower 2024 photos from around the world
Acidly: Ah, the Geminid meteor shower—nature’s way of giving you a free show with a side of jealousy. This year's dazzling display defied the almost-full moon, proving once again that stellar light can outshine your mediocre life. From Egypt's authentic mudbrick dovecotes to Hawaii’s Subaru Telescope, photographers captured streaks of light like they were trying to win an award for ‘most dramatic astronomer.’ Missed it? Don't fret! There's always next year to crush your hopes yet again! Keep dreaming, star-gazers!
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A forever bond issued 400 years ago still pays interest. Here’s how much the holder just got
Acidly: In a stunning development only Fortune could spin, they remind us that everything in life costs money—even your beloved privacy. Enjoy their sparkling content while they shuffle your data like a deck of cards, all in the name of capitalism. Feel warm and fuzzy knowing each click could hand them a nice little payday. But hey, who really needs privacy when you've got ads chasing you? Welcome to the thrilling world of "Terms of Use." Enjoy the ride; you’re the entertainment!
Apple TV 4K rumors: These are the latest developments
Acidly: Apple has decided that its two-year-old Apple TV isn’t obsolete enough. Rumors swirl about a new model dropping in early 2024, boasting an A18 chip and Wi-Fi 6E, because who doesn't need an overpriced box that streams content? Analysts suggest a sub-$100 price tag, but let’s be real: it’ll still cost a kidney. Unlike the competition, Apple might finally focus on gaming – or just tease us, like it loves to do. And who knows, a decade-old dream of an Apple-branded TV might tempt the delusional yet again. Excited? Please, hold back your enthusiasm.
Experts explain phenomenon of adults who leave their lives behind
Acidly: In a tale that screams “adulthood,” three unique individuals—Ryan, Hannah, and Luigi—decided to ghost their lives, leaving behind jobs, family, and sanity for a thrilling escapade. Why? Because maturity is overrated, apparently. Ryan faked his death with a kayak accident, while Hannah, overwhelmed with tragedy, took a spontaneous vacation to Mexico. Luigi, meanwhile, is too busy facing a murder charge. Who needs conflict resolution when you can just vanish, right? Missing adults: out living their best runaway fantasies!