Ivanka Trump is done with politics and says she isn’t coming back
Acidly: Ivanka Trump has finally escaped her dad's shadow, or at least that’s what she tells us. After two decades as Daddy’s little helper, she’s swapped the White House for a "private life" in Miami, focusing on gardening and jiu-jitsu instead of politics. Sure, she claims family is everything now, but don’t be fooled—this "former adviser" will likely still feed her dad some backdoor tips. Post-presidency, she's eager to flaunt her "compassion" while cashing in on luxury real estate. Priorities, right?
Video: CNN military analyst breaks down how a friendly fire incident can happen | CNN Politics
Acidly: Oh, CNN values your feedback—how touching! They want to know how "relevant" their ads are to your tragically mundane life. Spoiler: they’re probably not. And if you had a technical issue, congratulations! You've joined the club of people wasting their time on surveys instead of watching paint dry. So, tell them how their mind-numbing ads match your interests and if you’ve experienced any delightful glitches. Heaven forbid they actually improve based on your input!
Secret passageway through one of Italy’s most famous cityscapes opens to public for first time
Acidly: Florence’s Corridoio Vasariano, once a secret snaking passage for the elite Medici, is now open to the masses. Rejoice, commoners! For just €20, you can shuffle through 750 meters of frescoed walls and sweeping views, all while feeling like you're stepping into a muted Renaissance drama. Sure, you'll be part of a herd of 25, but who doesn't love a scenic view of overpriced architecture? Don’t forget to brush up on the history—because we all know your Instagram pics won't explain themselves.
The Good Ol'Ads
Cowboys vs. Buccaneers where to watch: TV, kickoff time, NFL live stream, spread, odds, 'SNF' prediction
Acidly: As the NFL play-offs loom, the once-mighty Cowboys stumble into a match against the Buccaneers, who actually remember how to score. With a statistically-decent Baker Mayfield at the helm and Dallas praying for a miracle, this game is more about McCarthy's job security than anything resembling a "playoff game." Spoiler alert: as the Bucs feast on a Cowboys defense still learning its new playbook, expect Tampa Bay to embarrass the limping Cowboys. Final score: Bucs 31, Cowboys 20—cue the funeral dirge for Dallas football.
Blake Lively Missed Hosting ‘SNL’ Season 50 Opener Due to Justin Baldoni Smear Campaign.
Acidly: Blake Lively is throwing Justin Baldoni under the bus faster than you can say “first-world problems.” Apparently, his harassment ruined her chance at hosting “SNL’s” big 50th season kick-off. In a dramatic complaint, she claims his comments about her weight and unwanted personal revelations were the real showstoppers. No one wants to talk about their faith while dodging obligatory childbirth videos. Sounds like a blast. Can’t wait to see how this saga unfolds—right after I finish my popcorn.
What time is the NASA Parker Solar Probe's closest sun flyby ever on Christmas Eve?
Acidly: On December 24, at a delightful 6:53 a.m. EST, NASA’s Parker Solar Probe is set for a sun-bathing session—3.8 million miles close to a giant ball of nuclear fusion. Nope, you can't tune in; this isn't cozy Netflix. Instead, watch a webpage for updates while scientists wait with bated breath for its "health check." Expect sizzle at 1,800°F, but don’t worry—it’s got a badass heat shield. So, while Santa delivers toys, NASA delivers data from a spacecraft that’s enjoying a fiery existential crisis.
The Good Ol'Ads
Party City to close its stores as company files for bankruptcy
Acidly: Party City, the crown jewel of party planning for nearly four decades, has decided it’s time to give up the ghost. They’re closing around 700 stores and filing for Chapter 11—again. Despite their best efforts to mask the incompetence with fancy talk about "macroeconomic headwinds," it seems even the balloons couldn't lift them high enough. Retail therapy for the nation is turning into retail tragedy, as competition from Walmart and "new kids" like Spirit Halloween suffocate their last, wheezing breaths. Cheers!
CES 2025: What to Expect From the Massive Tech Bonanza
Acidly: CNET's jaunt to CES 2025 promises an orgy of tech hype as they prepare to wade through a sea of outrageous gadgets that may only exist in their dreams. From flexible phone screens to AI-infused fridges, they'll be pawing at products that probably won't make it past the prototype stage. Sure, you'll hear about innovative chips and EVs that are just fancier versions of what you already have. Buckle up, folks; it's just another overhyped tech circus where reality often gets lost in the glitz.
Avian flu infects 2 more California dairy workers as CDC confirms Wisconsin case
Acidly: California's H5 avian flu nightmare continues, with two more dairy workers added to the illness roster—now a whopping 36. Meanwhile, Wisconsin joins the avian flu party with a poultry worker case, bringing the national total to 64. Health officials monitor 5,000 souls, testing 130 for symptoms, because who doesn’t love a good pandemic panic? 679 dairy farms are under quarantine, and apparently, we’re also analyzing the virus's personal life through wastewater testing. Stay tuned!