Family dispute leaves 3 shot and 1 stabbed at Phoenix airport Christmas night
Acidly: In a heartwarming Christmas tale fit for a Hallmark movie, a family dispute at Phoenix Sky Harbor escalated into a delightful potpourri of gunfire and stabbing. Three people were shot and one added a little holiday flair with a stab wound. In an airport—not exactly the best place for a familial showdown. Luckily, the police intervened, and flights remained unaffected, because who doesn’t love unresolved family drama with a side of holiday cheer? Merry Christmas, indeed!
Azerbaijan Airlines Crash Investigators Focus on Russian Defenses as Possible Cause
Acidly: In what may be the plot of an action movie gone wrong, a passenger jet from Azerbaijan met a gory fate in Kazakhstan, and investigators think it was no flock of birds but a Russian air defense system aiming for the skies. Convenient timing, isn't it? Just as drone strikes were peppering Grozny, an innocent jet gets caught in the crossfire. But hey, at least it wasn’t just bad aim from a birdwatcher. Remember, in aviation, even "aviation experts" can confuse feathery fowl with your everyday missile.
'It's pure beauty' - Italy's largest medieval mosaics restored
Acidly: On a hill in Palermo, the Monreale cathedral’s unimpressive renovations just wrapped up—how thrilling! Initially constructed in the 12th century, these Byzantine mosaics now sparkle like they did 800 years ago after someone bothered to remove the dust. Sure, they employed locals to fix the tiles and replace a light system as ancient as the building itself. But hey, after 45 years of dimness, at least the gold leaf won’t be mistaken for black spots anymore. Father Nicola must be proud—his cathedral is now a shining reminder of humanity’s inability to dust.
The Good Ol'Ads
Betting tips for 'Thursday Night Football': Seahawks at Bears
Acidly: In a riveting post-Christmas game, the Seahawks face the Bears, who are practically begging for mercy. Seattle clings to playoff hopes after two crushing losses but has a cushy matchup against a Chicago team staggering through a nine-game death march. With Kenneth Walker III sidelined, Zach Charbonnet takes the helm; how thrilling! Seattle’s 4-point favorites over the Bears, who have a more generous knack for losing than a spoiled child. Place your bets, folks; this one's a snore-fest!
Hwang Dong-hyuk on killing off his 'Squid Game' characters and wanting to work with Jake Gyllenhaal
Acidly: When Hwang Dong-hyuk smiles at the carnage in “Squid Game,” it’s not a sadistic glee; it’s sheer relief. Managing a massive cast was a nightmare, but fake deaths? A breath of fresh air. Season two drops with even more characters—because apparently, debt knows no age limit. As young adults turn to online gambling for salvation, Hwang promises a darker, quirkier future. So, buckle up, folks! If you thought choking on your popcorn was tough before, get ready for a deeper existential crisis.
How NASA Astronauts Celebrated Christmas 250 Miles Above Earth
Acidly: In June, two NASA astronauts, Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore, set off for a quick jaunt to the International Space Station, expecting to be in and out in eight days. Fast forward six months and some comically tragic spacecraft failures later—guess what? They're still up there, sporting Santa hats like they're on an eternal holiday. Honestly, who knew a "quick trip" could turn into an extended stay? Do your families a favor, guys—either fix the rocket or stop sending holiday greetings from orbit.
The Good Ol'Ads
Richard Parsons, Serial Fixer of Media and Finance Giants, Dies at 76
Acidly: Richard D. Parsons, the human Band-Aid for corporate disasters, shuffled off this mortal coil at 76, leaving behind a legacy as a fixer of multimillion-dollar messes. From Time Warner to Citigroup, he swooped in like a corporate superhero—minus the cape, of course. A Black executive in an era of white mediocrity, Parsons pretended to care about social justice (good PR for a jazz-lover with a vineyard). He’s dead now, likely leaving behind another crisis for someone else to "fix." Thanks, capitalism!
Galaxy S25 Ultra’s alleged ‘blue’ color makes Pixel’s past pastels look vibrant
Acidly: Samsung is boldly going where no smartphone has gone before—into the depths of boredom. Their upcoming Galaxy S25 Ultra will be graced with a new “blue” hue that’s so faint, it could easily pass for gray. This subtle shade makes Google’s “Not Pink” and “Purple-ish” look like vivid rainbows. Who knew a color could evoke such excitement? If you're looking for vibrant, better stick to your grandma’s pastel fridge magnets. Samsung, are you sure you’re not just pranking us?
Cats can get sick with bird flu. Here’s how to protect them
Acidly: A cat in Oregon kicked the bucket, and guess what? It's linked to bird flu. That’s right, your little furball could be the next feathered disease vector. Oregon health officials found the culprit: a frozen turkey meal that sounded gourmet but served up death instead. The recall is now your pet's ticket to potential survival. So if you thought raw meat was fancy, think again. Save Fido or Fluffy from a poultry disaster—keep them away from wild birds and raw meat. Because apparently, death by turkey is not the ideal way to go.