Monday Night Football odds, predictions, line, time, spread: 49ers vs. Lions picks by NFL expert on 27-6 roll

What we know about funeral plans for former President Jimmy Carter

Acidly: Former President Jimmy Carter kicked the bucket at a ripe old 100. President Biden, likely less concerned with mourning than photo ops, announced a National Day of Mourning and prepped a eulogy that’s sure to be as sentimental as it is self-serving. The grand send-off includes a motorcade through Plains, Georgia, where he’ll be buried next to Rosalynn. Public cries for the elderly humanitarian have materialized, recalling a time when "compassion" was more than just a soundbite. Irony, thy name is politics.

Jeju Air plane crash raises questions about concrete wall at the end of the runway

Acidly: In a tragedy that could have starred in a poorly scripted disaster movie, Jeju Air Flight 7C2216 became a flaming mess after slamming into an unyielding concrete wall and a dirt mound, generously placed by geniuses at Muan International Airport. Eighty percent of the 181 passengers didn't make it, thanks to those not-so-friendly runway decorations. Experts are scratching their heads over this masterpiece of design. Apparently, barriers are common, but this one was more like a brick wall of moronic oversight. Go team aviation!

Major US Airlines to Add More Flights to Italy in 2025

Acidly: Oh joy, hold onto your gelato! American airlines are crashing Italy's winter party in 2025 with a flurry of new routes. United's throwing in Denver-Rome and Newark-Palermo, because who wouldn't crave a soggy pizza on a long flight? Delta’s flexing with 17 flights a week to Rome, because why not drown in tourists? American Airlines is sweetening the deal with Dallas-Venice—a dream for anyone sick of actual Venice. And ITA is just trying to keep up. Buckle up, Italy; the Americans are coming! 🍕✈️

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Monday Night Football odds, predictions, line, time, spread: 49ers vs. Lions picks by NFL expert on 27-6 roll

Acidly: Hold onto your hats, folks! The Detroit Lions aim for road glory, targeting that elusive 8-0 mark against the San Francisco 49ers. Spoiler: The last team to do it? The 2020 Chiefs, but let's not get bogged down in history. With the 49ers crashing at 6-9 and losing to Miami, this matchup has the potential for utter mediocrity. Plus, no Montgomery for Detroit means they’ll either show true grit or fall flat. Tune in for a spectacle of athletic hope or despair.

Kate Beckinsale Tells Set Horror Stories: Being ‘Felt Up’ by a Crew Member at 18, ‘Forced by a Publicist’ to Shoot the ‘Day After I Had a Miscarriage’ and More

Acidly: Ah, Hollywood—where the lights shine bright, but the toxic sludge runs deeper. Kate Beckinsale spills her horror stories on Instagram like a bottle of vintage wine, detailing harassment and abuse on set. From being called “that cunt” for holding a tipsy co-star accountable to enduring physical harm during stunts, her tales are tragically relatable. Oh, and don’t forget the photoshoot post-miscarriage—a delightful cherry on this rancid cake. Talk about a glamorous industry! Keep clapping, folks.

Aurora alert: Powerful geomagnetic storm could spark northern lights as far south as Illinois tonight and tomorrow

Acidly: Brace yourselves, common folk! The cosmic forces decided to throw us a New Year's surprise—northern lights, potentially visible as far south as Illinois and Oregon. Blame it on a solar storm. NOAA’s G3 storm warning promises a night of auroral splendor, assuming the universe doesn’t have a laugh at our expense. So gear up, download an app, and venture outside—because nothing says “Happy New Year” like staring into the sky, hoping for a colorful light show instead of your lifelong existential dread. Enjoy!

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Walmart’s version of the Hermès Birkin has taken over the internet

Acidly: Walmart’s Birkin wannabe, the "Wirkin," is all the rage among budget fashionistas who want to look rich without actually, you know, being rich. Priced at a paltry $78, it’s a direct jab at Hermès, where real Birkins start at $26,500 and can go up to nearly $400,000. Naturally, wealthy fools still line up for those overpriced arm candies, while others settle for cowhide imitations. Because who says you can't be trashy and trendy at the same time? The luxury market can only roll its eyes as the 'Wirkin' waltzes in.

Apple’s iPhone SE 4 Pricing Details Reveal That The Low-Cost Model Will Be Available For Under $500, Thanks To The Use Of A Custom 5G Modem

Acidly: Apple’s about to grace us with the iPhone SE 4, a shocker priced under $500—just a hair above the last bargain they coughed up. Thanks to their shiny new in-house 5G modem, they’re finally kicking their Qualcomm dependency to the curb, because who doesn’t love an expensive tech divorce? With an A18 chip and a decent OLED screen, it’s just Apple flexing their teeth on value, all while keeping the high-end customers sobbing at the $799 iPhone 16. Cheers to “affordable” luxury!

If It Seems Like Everyone Has Norovirus, It's Because They Probably Do — Virus Is Surging, Says CDC

Acidly: Happy holiday season! Nothing screams festive like a norovirus outbreak. The CDC reports double the cases of this delightful little virus. You know, the one that turns your insides into a disaster zone. Lovely, isn’t it? Just a few particles of “poop” or vomit, and you’re on the fast track to a vomit marathon. Remember, washing your hands is cute, but don’t bother with hand sanitizer; it’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Cheers to the holidays—hope you don’t swallow any festive “treats”!