FBI releases timeline of deadly New Orleans truck-ramming attack
Acidly: In a shocking turn of events, 42-year-old Shamsud-Dim Jabbar made his grand entrance into the New Year by turning Bourbon Street into his personal demolition derby, killing 14 revelers. Jabbar, a Texas native and military vet, had a flair for the dramatic—complete with ISIS support videos on Facebook. His day ended with a police shootout and a one-way trip to the afterlife. The FBI insists he acted solo, despite his advanced planning and a stash of explosives. Welcome to 2024, folks.
South Korean investigators move to detain impeached President Yoon Suk Yeol
Acidly: In a dramatic episode worthy of a soap opera, South Korea's impeached President Yoon Suk Yeol finds himself barricaded in his home while police attempt a historic arrest—only the first time a sitting president faces such consequences. Supporters, presumably mistaking their leader for a martyr, lie down in front of the police. Yoon's insurrection and martial law antics haven't just resulted in uproar; they've hit the fast track to legal fame. Stay tuned—the plot thickens, and honestly, it's a hot mess.
Naples, Italy: A Popular Tourist Destination Suffering from Violence and Unemployment
Acidly: Amid the glorious chaos of Naples, where tourists chase fried pizza and Instagram moments, tragedy lurks under the surface. Three young souls – an 18-year-old boy and twin sisters – met their grisly fate not in a romantic tragedy, but in a makeshift fireworks factory gone boom. For a measly 25 euros a day, they became collateral damage in a city that glorifies its beauty while swallowing its youth. Clearly, in Naples, the fireworks are for the tourists, not the locals trying to survive.
The Good Ol'Ads
Georgia vs. Notre Dame where to watch: TV channel, live stream, Sugar Bowl odds, spread, prediction, pick
Acidly: In a Sugar Bowl showdown, Georgia struts in with a six-year bowl win streak, while Notre Dame hasn't sniffed victory since 1994. But wait—Georgia's once-formidable defense is now about as scary as a puppy, and first-timer Gunner Stockton is at the helm. Meanwhile, Notre Dame's running game is unstoppable, even without their top lineman, Rylie Mills. Will the Bulldogs’ luck run dry against a team that’s actually winning? The New Year’s hangover could be brutal, especially if the Irish pull an upset.
Blake Lively Allegedly ‘Refused to Permit’ Justin Baldoni’s Attendance at ‘It Ends With Us’ Premiere
Acidly: In a dramatic twist of Hollywood theatrics, Justin Baldoni is suing Blake Lively for $250 million. Apparently, Lively didn’t just want the spotlight; she allegedly orchestrated Baldoni’s exclusion from his own film, “It Ends With Us.” He claims she shuffled him off like last week’s sushi, even relegating him and his crew to a basement for the premiere. If only there were a script twist to save his dignity. Maybe next time, Justin, just steer clear of big, bad Blake and her husband, Ryan Reynolds—Hollywood's version of a power couple.
Quadrantids, 1st meteor shower of 2025, expected to peak tonight: How to watch
Acidly: Ah, the Quadrantids—the meteor shower that dares to ignite the dead of winter. Brace yourselves, star lovers, for a dazzling display of 120 meteors an hour, peaking for a glorious, fleeting three hours. That's right, blink and you'll miss it! Catch them before Earth zooms through the “strongest” smattering of cosmic debris, courtesy of a sad little asteroid. Perfect viewing conditions? Just don’t look at your phone for a half-hour and hope the cops don’t ruin your night with their lights. Happy stargazing!
The Good Ol'Ads
Net Neutrality Rules Struck Down by Appeals Court
Acidly: In a thrilling turn of events that shocked absolutely no one, the federal appeals court in Cincinnati obliterated a two-decade effort to enforce net neutrality, declaring broadband providers as untouchable as a celebrity's ego. The court cited some ancient Supreme Court magic—Loper Bright—as justification, meaning we can kiss consumer protections goodbye. So, if you thought Comcast and AT&T were just going to let you watch Netflix in peace, think again. Enjoy the buffering; regulation is so last season!
Samsung’s cheap Galaxy Fit 3 fitness tracker is coming to the US
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Acidly: Samsung is launching the Galaxy Fit 3 in the US for $59.99 on January 9, 2025. Apparently, tracking your mediocre workouts and sleep patterns is a priority. It boasts a 1.6-inch display—perfect for checking if you’re still not hitting the gym. With the ability to monitor your blood oxygen levels, you can finally find out if your Netflix binges are killing you. Oh, and don’t forget the Galaxy A16 5G, only $199.99 for a phone that does everything but make your life interesting. Enjoy!
Norovirus cases on the rise; here are the symptoms and how to prevent catching the virus
Acidly: Oh joy, just in time for the holidays, Norovirus decided to crash the party. The CDC reported 91 outbreaks in early December, a delightful jump from last year's 69. This charming little virus can turn a festive feast into a vomit fest, igniting stomach churning thrills for millions. With a mere ten virus particles needed to make you the life of the toilet, no wonder it’s America’s favorite foodborne illness. So, wash those hands, or prepare for a holiday spent in bathroom purgatory. Cheers!