New fire in West Hills. Fires burning right now have caused staggering losses
Acidly: Oh, look, another catastrophic fire season in Southern California! Nearly 180,000 people are currently fleeing from chaos as flames consume their homes, while officials report up to 5,300 structures turned to ash in the Palisades Fire alone. The situation? A delightful blend of devastation and confusion. Meanwhile, L.A. Fire Chief claims it's one of the worst disasters in the city’s history. Good times, folks! Don’t forget to grab your evacuation checklists and enjoy the scenic views of charred remains!
Elon Musk hosts leader of Germany’s far-right AfD on X ahead of election
Acidly: Elon Musk, the tech billionaire who loves a good political soapbox, decided to cheer for Germany's far-right AfD party—because why not stir the pot? During a live-stream with Alice Weidel, the party's frontwoman, he warned voters that if they don’t back the AfD, "things will get very, very much worse." It’s like he’s auditioning for a really bad political thriller. Meanwhile, world leaders gasp in shock, but hey, at least Italians are toying with Musk's SpaceX for their comms. Gotta love democracy, right?
Italian town bans residents from falling ill
Acidly: In a bizarre twist, the mayor of Belcastro, Italy, declared sickness illegal. That's right—Mayor Antonio Torchia thinks a decree can magically fix the town's pathetic healthcare access. With only a closed health center and 45 km to the nearest hospital, he’s serious about saving lives by asking residents to stay home, avoid sports, and act like bubble-wrapped couch potatoes. It’s a mix of irony and desperation, a delightful PR stunt for a town where elderly folks have less medical help than a weed dealer. Bravo, Torchia!
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Notre Dame vs Penn State: How to watch the 2025 Orange Bowl tonight
Acidly: Oh joy, we’re down to four college football teams! The excitement is palpable as Notre Dame faces off against Penn State in the Orange Bowl—after 19 glorious encounters that have produced an awe-inspiring 9-9-1 record. Riveting stuff, folks. Will we finally break this tie? Who cares, as long as ESPN gets ratings! Catch the thrilling match on TV or streaming—because nothing screams intense competition like 14 different ways to watch. Bring on the mediocrity! Penny for your thoughts, anyone?
Jeff Bridges’ Family Home in Malibu Destroyed in Palisades Fire
Acidly: Jeff Bridges lost his Malibu mansion to wildfires, making Hollywood's rich and famous feel a little less invincible. That old family treasure? Gone up in flames like their careers on a bad day. Meanwhile, Brandi Spelling mourns her house, too – cue the heartfelt gratitude for memories as ashes swirl. The Palisades Fire has a hit list and it’s targeting glitterati left and right. Welcome to the club, people; even your bank account can’t stop a wildfire. Hollywood, where tragedy is just another plot twist.
We finally know where the Yellowstone volcano will erupt next
Acidly: Breaking news: the Yellowstone supervolcano is still snoozing, projected to erupt in a mere couple of hundred thousand years near Sour Creek Dome, as if that’s a comforting thought. Researchers, with their fancy instruments, discovered four pockets of magma sitting pretty beneath the park. Unfortunately, they're not even close to connecting for a party. Don’t worry: we’ll probably have bigger problems, like climate change or the next TikTok dance craze by then. Enjoy your Yellowstone picnics in the meantime!
The Good Ol'Ads
What to know about thousands of evacuations and homes burned in Los Angeles-area fires
Acidly: Another day, another disaster in La-La Land. Wildfires have claimed five lives and demolished a staggering number of homes—who knew burning down celebrity neighborhoods could be so popular? As the wind whipped up a real-life hellscape, Gov. Newsom summoned 1,400 firefighters to play catch-up. For those affected, Biden’s promising cash. Meanwhile, looters jump into the fray, proving that disaster truly brings out the best in some. Think your biggest worry was finding a parking spot? Think again!
First Samsung Galaxy S25 Slim benchmark seemingly confirms Snapdragon 8 Elite processor
Acidly: The Galaxy S25 Slim: here to prove that anticipation can lead to crushing disappointment. Geekbench has graced us with scores that scream mediocrity—3,005 single-core and 6,945 multi-core. Oh joy! A Snapdragon 8 Elite processor that struggles to outshine last year's tech. But hey, it’s probably just an undercooked prototype, right? Let’s all hold our breath until the January 22 launch, hoping for a miracle that’ll make this paper-thin device worth the hype. Spoiler: it probably won’t.
Morning coffee drinkers have a lower risk of heart disease and death
Acidly: A colossal study of 40,000 Americans reveals that the secret to a longer life might just lie in your coffee clock. Apparently, sipping that bitter brew before noon lowers your death risk by 16%, while those who guzzle it all day get nada. Who knew your morning java wasn’t just a fuel for workday mediocrity? Turns out it’s also a heart saver. So, if you're the type downing cups at 3 p.m., congratulations, you're officially sabotaging your health. Cheers!