Los Angeles wildfires: Updates from Jan. 10, 2025
Acidly: In the chaos of wildfires consuming Los Angeles, Coach JJ Redick's tears flowed for a rented home turned ash, while firefighters battled flames threatening houses and houses of worship alike. As clergy risked it all for sacred scrolls, Biden tossed barbs at Trump over fire policies. Local leaders offered empty platitudes, all while the obscured truth of looting and false alerts smoldered. Amidst devastation, relatives mourn and reporters bear witness, yet it’s the tortoises that survived, perhaps understanding this circus better than anyone.
Venezuela’s Nicolas Maduro sworn in for third presidential term as opposition decries ‘coup’
Acidly: Nicolas Maduro, in a cozy backroom of the National Assembly, was sworn in for a third "term" that even he knows is more of a farce than a fair election. Surrounded by his buddy dictators, he declared Victor of the July vote (because claiming you won is totally the same as winning). Meanwhile, Edmundo Gonzalez, the actual winner, remained in exile, likely weighing the benefits of daring a return. The U.S. and allies quickly slapped sanctions on Maduro's merry band of thugs, while protests raged outside. Democracy? Nah, just another day in Venezuela's circus.
Mauro Morandi, Italy’s Robinson Crusoe, Dies at 85
Acidly: Mauro Morandi, Italy's wannabe Robinson Crusoe, shuffled off this mortal coil at 85, leaving behind a legacy of beach clean-up and hermitic wisdom. For 32 years, he fought off tourists to protect Budelli's pink sand paradise, only to be evicted—talk about a tragic twist. He tangled with authorities, gained 75,000 fans, then finally threw in the towel, stating life isn’t always a fairytale. As social media mourns, one can’t help but wonder: did he really prefer solitude, or was it just a lack of better options?
The Good Ol'Ads
Texas vs. Ohio State, Cotton Bowl where to watch: TV channel, odds, spread, game prediction, pick
Acidly: In an utterly thrilling Cotton Bowl clash, 5-seed Texas is set to face the not-so-mighty 8-seed Ohio State. Sure, the Buckeyes thrashed Oregon and poor Tennessee, but let’s not forget they lost two games like they were collecting Pokémon cards. Texas barely scraped by against weaklings Clemson and Arizona State, proving they can survive double overtime. As for Ohio State's freshman receiver, Jeremiah Smith? He’s basically on fire. Spoiler alert: Ohio State is favored to trample the 'Horns. Good luck, Texas!
Anthony Hopkins Homes Burnt Down Amid Pacific Palisades Wildfires
Acidly: Oh, what a tragic tale: Sir Anthony Hopkins, famed for dining on human liver, is now dining on the ashes of his two homes in the Pacific Palisades Fire. Irony? Perhaps. The Oscar-winner has more fire drama than a soap opera, losing a London home to flames in 2000 and nearly losing another in 2018. But who cares about homes when the Hollywood elite can still cry into their millions? Meanwhile, 17,000 acres go up in smoke. But don't worry, it’s just natural disaster chic.
Top three images from BepiColombo's sixth Mercury flyby
Acidly: Ah, the BepiColombo mission—because NASA wanted to show up the other space agencies. On its sixth jaunt by Mercury, it snapped selfies of icy craters and volcanic plains. Exciting stuff, right? Who knew Mercury had a dark side, literally? Those craters, with their charming permanent shadows, just scream vacation hotspot. But let's save the cheers for when it finally orbits in 2026 and reveals how frozen water managed to outshine the closest planet to the sun. Science, meet sarcasm!
The Good Ol'Ads
Meta ends its DEI programs as Zuckerberg blasts Biden on Joe Rogan
Acidly: In a shocking turn of events, Meta has decided to ditch its diversity, equity, and inclusion programs, because who needs those pesky ideas when you can just cater to conservative critics? Janelle Gale announced in a memo that being inclusive is just too "charged". Apparently, offering equal opportunities is now a bad hair day in corporate America. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg’s on a journey, realizing fact-checking is "destroying trust." Cheers to a new era where mediocrity and conformity reign supreme!
Samsung Unpacked 2025: Galaxy S25, S25+, S25 Ultra price and key details leaked ahead of the launch event
Acidly: Samsung is at it again, teasing a new Galaxy S25 series that'll sell like hotcakes at exorbitant prices. The base model kicks off at €964, where you can enjoy a swanky 128GB. For an extra storage boost, you can shell out over €1,900 for a 1TB version—a price that could feed a small nation. Colour options include “ice blue” and “titanium grey” — what a splash of originality! Mark your calendars for January 22, and don't forget to pre-reserve to get that sweet early access to bankruptcy!
Daily Glass of Milk May Reduce Bowel Cancer Risk by Up to 14%, Study Shows
Acidly: A glass of milk a day might just save your chances of dodging colorectal cancer—at least according to some half-a-million-women strong study from Oxford. Enough calcium can lower your risk by 17%. But hey, don't get too giddy; this research is about as solid as a milkshake. Alcohol and processed meat have a clear invite to the cancer party, while those calcium supplements? Meh, don’t count on them. So, raise a toast with your glass of calcium and pray it drowns out the red meat lurking in the fridge. Cheers!