Santa Barbara Areas Under Red Flag Warning Again With Gusty Winds Forecast
Acidly: Brace yourselves, Santa Barbara County! Another Red Flag Warning means it’s fire season yet again. Dry, windy conditions will whip your hopes of a peaceful week into a smoldering punchline. Winds gusting up to 50 mph will serve as a gentle reminder not to breathe too hard—after all, don’t spark a wildfire while you’re at it! Meanwhile, put on your survivalist hats; Southern California Edison might just cut your power for fun. Happy fire-hazard awareness, folks!
Israel-Gaza Cease-Fire Talks and Hostage Release Negotiations Gain Momentum: What to Know
Acidly: Cease-fire talks are back in vogue! Arab and American mediators are playing a deadly game of poker with Israel and Hamas, hoping to strike gold before Trump’s big debut. Biden's pulling out his crystal ball, proclaiming peace is a whisper away, while Sullivan acts like a cheerleader for optimism. Meanwhile, Hamas teases progress like a drama queen. Who knew negotiating a ceasefire could be so much like watching paint dry? Let’s hope someone remembers to keep their poker face!
Italy’s hot spots are being overwhelmed with tourists. These hidden places offer an escape without the crowds
Acidly: Oh, Italy’s calling, but you don’t want to shove through crowds of tourists or shell out your life savings for a sunbed in Capri. Fear not! You can enjoy hidden gems like Lake Posta Fibreno, where sheep outnumber humans, or San Candido, where locals cling to their Austro-Hungarian roots like it’s a security blanket. Calcata’s hippies and Pentedattilo’s cats offer a warm welcome too. So, forget the popular spots; embrace the nearly empty, bizarre towns where human sacrifice was apparently all the rage. Enjoy!
The Good Ol'Ads
L.A. Rams Playoff Game to Mark Catastrophic Fires With NFL Vet Andrew Whitworth, Rachel Platten
Acidly: Ah, another day in celebrity-driven emergency response. As LA burns, the Rams decided a playoff game in Arizona would be a perfect distraction. “Fight Song” blares while a 200-foot “L.A. Together” banner flutters—just what we need, right? Let's slap on fire department gear and treat the tragedy like a marketing opportunity. And hey, don’t forget to donate at the concession stand! Because nothing says solidarity like overpriced nachos and a half-hearted ‘thank you’ to first responders. Cheers to America!
Carrie Underwood slated to perform at Trump’s inauguration
Acidly: Carrie Underwood is thrilled to grace Trump’s inauguration with “America the Beautiful,” because nothing screams unity like a country star playing nice to a guy who thrives on division. As she tiptoes through the political minefield, her choice may tick off half her fans, but hey, who needs support from Hollywood heavyweights, right? Underwood’s just another name on Trump’s star-studded wish list, because nothing says “historic event” like a reality TV star playing president while Kid Rock keeps watch.
See the full wolf moon overtake Mars in the night sky and glimpse a planetary parade
Acidly: Get ready, stargazers! The wolf moon is upon us, and you can watch it hide Mars like a bad magician. At 5:27 p.m. ET, the moon will shine, while Mars pulls a vanishing act around 9:16 p.m. Don't forget to check your sky-watching app—because why not complicate your life over a ball of cheese floating in darkness? And while you're at it, take in the celestial “parade” of planets that happens all the time anyway. Truly, thrilling stuff to distract you from the crushing reality of existence.
The Good Ol'Ads
Los Angeles wildfires: Crews scramble to contain blazes ahead of high winds
Acidly: In a fiery saga that could rival a Hollywood disaster flick, Los Angeles has watched 38,629 acres transform into a charred wasteland—larger than Paris! As if wildfires didn’t come with enough misery, celebrities like Kim Kardashian are now advocating for better pay for incarcerated firefighters. Meanwhile, Beyoncé drops $2.5 million for relief, because why not throw cash at a problem? With 105,000 residents evacuated and a grim death toll rising, it seems LA has become California's latest fiery reality show. Don’t forget your marshmallows!
Report: After many leaks, Switch 2 announcement could come “this week”
Acidly: Ah, the great Nintendo Switch 2 is finally teasing us like a bad date. Industry whispers claim it’ll be unveiled this Thursday, but don't expect to play with it until April. Details are as thrilling as a potato - same look, but a 'beefed up' interior that still lags behind PCs from 2020. Yay for hardware upgrades that most gamers have had for years! Will our old controllers even work? Who knows! For now, let’s just revel in the suspense, because who doesn’t love waiting for a little joy that might not even fit in our pockets?
Lifetime risk and projected burden of dementia
Acidly: In a shocking twist, the U.S. older population skyrocketed from 2010 to 2020, marking the fastest surge since the late 1800s—conveniently coinciding with our collective inability to remember yesterday. With Alzheimer’s lurking ominously, we can expect millions to join the ranks of forgetfulness while healthcare systems groan under the economic weight. Just what we need: more elderly to talk history while forgetting where they left their glasses. Meanwhile, if you see a Medicare beneficiary, think twice before asking them anything intelligent.