5 Takeaways From R.F.K. Jr.’s First Confirmation Hearing
Acidly: In the world of health policy, the dialogue is as enlightening as watching paint dry. Trump swears to protect Medicare while Republicans concoct schemes to slice Medicaid like a cheap deli meat. Dual eligibles? Who cares! Let's jam the two systems together like two puzzle pieces from different boxes and hope for the best! And as for H.H.S. secrets: “I’ll play by all the rules,” sure, right after I finish skimming my share off suing drug companies. Ethics? More like a bedtime story. Welcome to healthcare chaos.
Year Of The Snake Kicks Off: What To Know About The Lunar New Year In 2025 (Photos)
Acidly: Ah, the Lunar New Year. Hundreds of millions across Asia mustered the strength to clean their homes, throw feasts, and pray for prosperity while the rest of the world rolls its eyes at the annual spectacle. Cue the fireworks, lion dances, and the ominous forecast of a chaotic year ahead from a feng shui expert. Nothing screams joy like collective anxiety over “significant clashes.” And don’t forget, the world’s largest migration is happening—everyone’s rushing home for oranges and red envelopes. Happy New Year!
Chaos as Italian ski resort is overrun by TikTok tourists
Acidly: Ah, the charm of social media! This weekend, Roccaraso was graced by 10,000 daytrippers, all thanks to influencer Rita De Crescenzo's glorified snow selfies. Picture 220 tour buses clogging narrow roads while bored Neapolitans sled down slopes on saucepans. Local residents, left fuming in three-hour traffic jams, called it a "real assault." De Crescenzo claims no fault—because who could possibly foresee that a $20 trip plus sandwich would lead to BBQs and trash in the snow? Welcome to paradise!
The Good Ol'Ads
Biggest Super Bowl matchup questions for the Eagles: How will they attack Mahomes?
Acidly: Super Bowl LIX: the Kansas City Chiefs are chasing history by attempting the unthinkable—three-peat status—despite not looking like a powerhouse this season. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia Eagles are fueled by last year's heartbreak. Both Patrick Mahomes and Jalen Hurts have something to prove, but the real drama might hinge on whether the Eagles' defense can finally disrupt Mahomes. Spoiler: they won’t. The Eagles are playing with solid talent but throw in a sprinkle of desperation, and it’s still not looking good. Buckle up!
Rihanna Supports Partner ASAP Rocky by Attending Trial
Acidly: Rihanna, the queen of convenience, graced the courtroom to support her partner, ASAP Rocky, during his thrilling felony trial—because nothing says ‘I love you’ like sitting silently in a black outfit while a jury debates your man’s future. Imagine the drama: jurors struggling to concentrate as they see her there, probably daydreaming about perfume and that time her Fenty line launched. Meanwhile, Rocky’s facing potential prison time for an incident that allegedly involved grazing knuckles. Love is complicated, right?
NASA finds building blocks for life in the Bennu asteroid sample
Acidly: Scientists reportedly found amino acids and water—both crucial for life—on some rock sample. Shocking, right? Next, they’ll discover air and maybe even chocolate cake. Great news for the rocks, I guess; they're on track to form a thriving civilization very soon. Meanwhile, here on Earth, we continue our noble quest for a protein shake that'll save us from our own impending doom. If only we could extract a sense of responsibility from these samples instead of just the usual building blocks of life.
The Good Ol'Ads
Federal Reserve issues FOMC statement
Acidly: The economic circus rolls on! Unemployment’s taking a nap at low levels, while inflation throws a tantrum above 2%. The Committee, bless their hearts, is trying to juggle maximum employment and price stability. They've set their magic number for interest rates between 4.25% and 4.5%, despite the looming specter of uncertainty. A bunch of suited folks, including the well-coiffed Jerome Powell, continue to play an elaborate game of "let's hope for the best." Ah, economics—where the only constant is a balance of risks.
Nvidia GeForce RTX 5080 Vs RTX 4090: And The Winner Is?
Acidly: Nvidia's latest brainchild, the GeForce RTX 5080, finally struts its stuff post-embargo. Priced at $1,000 (a bargain, right?), it rivals the more extravagant RTX 5090 and leaves AMD in a dusty corner. While its performance boasts 75 titles that support DLSS 4, the grip of framerate inflation is real. Sure, it outpaces the RTX 4090 with Multi Frame Generation—by a measly 1%. But let’s not kid ourselves; if you’ve got $2,000 to burn, the RTX 5090 is your overpriced ticket to “superior” gaming glory.
2 dead in growing Kansas Tuberculosis outbreak. What you need to know
Acidly: In Kansas, TB is making a comeback like it’s 1885, claiming two lives and keeping 67 sick. Meanwhile, Michigan's beef herd has joined the party, testing positive for bovine TB. It’s a thrilling mix of human and animal diseases! Don't worry too much; most people won’t get infected unless they dive headfirst into cow spit. But hey, hunters, if you’re playing doctor with wild deer, wear gloves. At least our milk's safe—because who doesn't love a good glass of pasteurized safety? Cheers!