Army Identifies Capt. Rebecca M. Lobach as Helicopter Co-Pilot Killed in D.C. Crash
Acidly: Oh, look! Another tragic helicopter crash making headlines, and this time, a woman is caught in the wreckage. Capt. Rebecca M. Lobach, a skilled aviator with 450 flight hours, just wanted to serve her country. Sadly, her identity remained under wraps longer than necessary, thanks to the family’s desire for privacy and President Trump’s unsubstantiated hand-wringing over diversity. Investigators are scratching their heads about what went wrong. Spoiler alert: It’s rarely about diversity in the cockpit.
Rubio demands Panama 'reduce China influence' over canal
Acidly: Ah, the good ol' US of A flexing its muscles again. Secretary Rubio, fresh from a tête-à-tête with Panama's president, insists Panama must shoo away China from its beloved canal or face the wrath of Uncle Sam. Meanwhile, panicking Pinoys are lighting effigies of Trump in the streets. Mulino insists the canal is Panama’s, but can’t say the same about US interests or historical trauma. Forget a looming military invasion; everyone knows “peaceful negotiations” usually come with troops and tear gas. How charming.
First tour buses reach popular Roccaraso ski resort
Acidly: Roccaraso, Italy's latest ski hotspot, is learning the hard way that viral fame brings not just visibility but a deluge of rowdy, budget-conscious tourists. After 10,000 daytrippers wreaked havoc last week, the locals, who enjoy their quaint town of 1,500 residents, can now rejoice in ultra-restrictive crowd control that limits bus access to a measly 60. Mayor Di Donato is all about making visitors feel "safe," presumably while eyeing his dwindling sanity. Good luck, city folk; you asked for this chaos.
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Luka Doncic trade: Five teams that could have made better offers than Lakers if Mavs had shopped superstar
Acidly: In a shocking twist, the Dallas Mavericks decided trading 25-year-old superstar Luka Doncic was a brilliant idea—if only they had the faintest clue what they were doing. Sure, maybe they know something we don’t about his calamity-prone calves. But the execution? A train wreck. Instead of demanding worthy assets, they flailed like a fish and handed him to the Lakers without exploring better offers. Most teams would slap you silly to get Doncic. Clearly, the Mavs were just fine with eagerly playing the role of clueless buffoon.
How To Watch The 2025 Grammy Awards On Cable, Streaming And For Free
Acidly: Oh joy, the 2025 Grammy Awards are here to "honor" chart-topping artists while conveniently ignoring the wildfires engulfing Los Angeles. CEO Harvey Mason Jr. insists this star-studded circus will come with a “renewed sense of purpose”—because nothing says relief effort like a lavish awards show. Beyoncé leads the nominations, naturally, while Swift plays the role of generous bystander. So, grab your free trial of Paramount+ and bask in the celebrity glow, because real problems don’t belong on this stage.
NASA scientists want to solve a mystery: Why did life "turn left?"
Acidly: NASA's $800 million Bennu mission was supposed to solve the protein-handedness mystery. Spoiler: it didn’t. Danny Glavin’s 20-year career was tossed aside when Bennu casually presented a 50/50 mix of left and right-handed amino acids, making past meteorite research look laughably flawed. Turns out, space rocks don’t care about our precious "left-handed" narrative. While researchers sulk, they at least might have found a way to spot alien life—if it doesn't involve their career-ending “oops.” Whoopsies!
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Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang says everyone should get an AI tutor right away
Acidly: In a thrilling twist of fate, Fortune Media is offering you the privilege of “accepting” their terms while they quietly cash in on your personal info. Yes, your data is up for grabs! Privacy? LOL, that's a quaint concept. Meanwhile, they flex their trademark muscle like it's a Gym Membership of Doom, reminding you of who really owns your moments. Don’t worry, they might even change the offers on a whim—because nothing screams trust like unpredictability. Welcome to the future, where your clicks are just another commodity!
Forget About the iPhone 16 Pro, the Galaxy S25 Ultra Is 3x Cheaper at Launch
Acidly: Samsung just launched the Galaxy S25 Ultra, which they claim is the iPhone 16 Pro's worst nightmare. Priced at $1,299—down from $1,419—it's a steal if you play the trade-in game. Hand over an old device and you might nab it for just $399. Forget family dinners; who needs Christmas when you can save on accessories? If you're willing to wait for delivery, there's a color for everyone—assuming you’re not colorblind or desperate for instant gratification. Pre-order now for the ultimate ‘look how savvy I am’ tech brag.
Scientists discover strange phenomenon impacting latest bird flu outbreak: 'We don't know exactly why'
Acidly: Delaware Bay, nature's disco for migratory birds and horseshoe crabs, is having its annual "let's not catch a deadly flu" party. Surprisingly, the infamous H5N1 didn’t RSVP this year, leaving scientists scratching their heads and hoping they might have more time to prepare for a potential outbreak. Meanwhile, researchers continue to obsess over how this slippery virus evolves like it’s trying to win a bizarre game of genetic poker. Because nothing screams "fun" like tracking contagious diseases in wild birds. Cheers to optimism!