Elon Musk is serving as a ‘special government employee,’ White House says
Acidly: In a move that could only happen in a dystopian sitcom, Elon Musk has been gifted a role as a special government employee under Trump. Picture this: the world’s richest man, with a secret security clearance, meddling in government while being unpaid—great job security! As Musk fumbles through the bureaucratic maze, he’s already squashing contracts thanks to tariffs. Who knew wielding power could be so beneficial... or damaging? Ethics? Just a punchline in this circus. Enjoy the show, folks!
Middle East live updates: Former hostage Keith Siegel doing 'remarkably well'
Acidly: Meet Keith Siegel, the guy who spent 500 days as a hostage but is now “doing OK.” Weak and thin, but hey, at least he’s family-approved strong. His family is overflowing with gratitude for every politician involved, because obviously, diplomatic hugs are the real hero. Meanwhile, Keith, fresh from captivity, suggests getting the remaining 79 hostages home by talking to people—groundbreaking! As they wallow in their “dream state” of joy, let’s hope they don’t nap too long.
Italy's top ski resort is a 'hellish' flashpoint in overtourism trend
Acidly: Ah, the joys of TikTok tourism! Roccaraso, a quaint Italian ski hideaway, was recently "anointed" by influencer Rita De Crescenzo. Cue the clamor of 10,000 day-trippers trampling slopes, clogging roads, and turning pristine snow into a dumpster fire of chaos. Tour companies offered $20 day trips—sandwich included! It took local residents hours to navigate their own streets. Yes, Rita, you’ve truly created a “beautiful advertisement.” Stay classy, TikTok tourists; the Alps weren’t built for your barbecues.
The Good Ol'Ads
Myles Garrett requests trade: Logical landing spots for Browns star pass rusher, including Lions, Patriots
Acidly: Myles Garrett loves Cleveland – just not enough to suffer another season with its underachieving Browns. He’s ready to pack his bags and chase that elusive Super Bowl he dreamed of as a kid, probably while using the fridge to cry over soggy chips during yet another playoff drought. Despite being a top defensive end and clearly the only thing keeping the team relevant, he’s hitting the road. But don’t worry, the Browns are keeping him, because who wouldn’t want to cage a lion in a losing circus?
Megyn Kelly & Meghan McCain Triggered By Kanye West & Wife At Grammys
Acidly: Meghan McCain and Megyn Kelly, the dynamic duo of disdain, joined forces to roast Kanye West and Bianca Censori’s latest fashion blunder at the 2025 Grammys. McCain, in a deleted rant, labeled Kanye "repugnant" and his wife "a hostage" in her sheer slip dress. Meanwhile, Kelly pouted on X about their desperate bid for attention. Both ladies, clearly haters of haute couture, shared a collective wish for Kanye to go back to obscurity. Bravo, ladies! The world definitely needs more self-righteous critiques.
Bonobos recognize when humans are ignorant, try to help
Acidly: In a groundbreaking study that will likely alter the animal kingdom's social dynamics, bonobos have proven they can infer a human's knowledge about hidden treats. By watching food vanish under cups—because, obviously, humans need toys too—the bonobos adjusted their behavior depending on whether their human partner was oblivious or not. The results are all too clear: even primates grasp the absurdity of human ignorance, but let's not crown them as the next Shakespeare. It’s just bonobos playing the game of pretend intelligence.
The Good Ol'Ads
'America First': Largest steel producer in US announces support of Trump tariffs
Acidly: Nucor Corp.'s CEO Leon Topalian is all aboard the Trump train of tariffs, praising the “America First Trade Agenda” like it's a new iPhone model. Apparently, he’s thrilled that Trump plans to slap 25% tariffs on imports from Canada and Mexico because who doesn’t love to pay more for stuff? His argument? Stopping "illegal dumping" and "currency manipulation," which sounds great until you remember conglomerates have their own shady practices. Meanwhile, Canada and Mexico are left to play diplomatic dodgeball. Cheers to the trade war!
Round Up: Civilization 7 Reviews Are Glowing Ahead of PS5 Launch
Acidly: Oh joy, another iteration in the "Civilization" series that apparently nobody asked for but everyone will play. With a Metacritic score of 82, reviewers are fawning over the mere idea of gameplay—because who doesn’t want to sacrifice their social life for “just one more turn”? VGC loves it, but Eurogamer thinks it’s a soulless husk of a game. Classic! If you’re counting on Firaxis wiping the tears off this franchise, you might be waiting longer than your next game session. Good luck finding that “glory” in this 4X purgatory.
Bioaccumulation of microplastics in decedent human brains
Acidly: In a groundbreaking study, researchers have confirmed that we're all basically marinating in plastic—postmortem samples show MNP concentrations in brains skyrocketing to an appalling 4,917 µg g−1 in 2024, surpassing other organs and placentas. Who knew our brains were the ultimate trash bins? Dementia cases revealed even more egregious amounts, almost 27,000 µg g−1. As we choke on our synthetic smorgasbord, at least let’s be grateful for the forensic pathologists keeping tabs on our impending extinction. Cheers to progress!