JD Vance's visit to Vermont ski resort interrupted by pro-Ukraine demonstrators after Zelenskyy exchange
Acidly: In Vermont, Vice President JD Vance's ski getaway turned into a frosty protest zone. Less than a day after an awkward spat with Ukraine’s Zelenskyy, he faced a half-mile gauntlet of demonstrators. Signs called him "Nazi scum" and "traitor" while others suggested he ski in Russia. Amidst the chaos, one local skier hadn’t got the memo, labeling the protesters "f---ing morons." Ah yes, nothing screams ‘responsible governance’ like dodging angry crowds on a ski slope.
Ukraine President Zelenskyy Gets Emotional During U.K. Meeting 1 Day After Trump Berated Him at White House
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Acidly: In a delightful display of political camaraderie, Ukrainian President Zelenskyy shed a tear while being smothered with affection by British Prime Minister Starmer. You know, because nothing screams "support" like a hug after a disastrous tête-à-tête with Trump, who had the audacity to berate him for being too close to Joe Biden. Meanwhile, Zelenskyy ignored reporters’ inquiries about his temperamental “friend,” proving that dodging questions is a true leadership skill. Bravo, gentlemen! What a circus.
She traveled to Italy to save her marriage. Here’s how she ended up falling for her Italian tour guide
Acidly: Monica Kennedy thought a trip to the Amalfi Coast with her failing husband could revive their decaying marriage. Instead, she met Isidoro — a charming tour guide who made spaghetti taste worse. Fast forward from lousy food to online chats, divorce, and a leap to Italy. The couple fell in love, proving that a “weird energy” can lead to wedding bells. Now they run “To Amalfi With Love Tours of Italy,” because nothing says romance like a cheesy tour business. Ah, love and tourist traps: the perfect match.
The Good Ol'Ads
Sources: 49ers trade WR Samuel to Commanders
Acidly: Deebo Samuel's "dramatic" escape from the 49ers to the Commanders is official—exciting news for fans of mediocrity everywhere. Washington traded a fifth-round pick for a receiver who was once productive but, thanks to injuries and a huffing attitude, now resembles a lost puppy. Meanwhile, the Niners absorb a staggering $31.5 million dead cap hit—because who doesn’t love financial disasters? Samuel's quest for relevance continues with a team that once stumbled into the playoffs—good luck with that, Jayden Daniels!
Officials react to Grammy nominated singer Angie Stone’s death in Montgomery County crash
Acidly: Grammy-nominated Angie Stone was cut short at 63 in yet another tragic accident on Interstate 65. Leaving a glamorous performance for the CIAA tournament, she didn’t quite make it. Eight others, lucky enough to survive, are nursing their injuries, while the wreck turned part of the road into a bureaucratic nightmare. Within hours, the scene was cleared, proving once again that life moves on—because who cares about a singer when there are lanes to reopen? Cheers to fleeting fame!
Firefly’s Blue Ghost lander heads for touchdown attempt on the moon
Acidly: Ah, the latest chapter in the moon race: Texas' Firefly Aerospace thinks it can land a lunar lander called Blue Ghost. Success isn’t promised; only about half of moon missions don't end in disaster. CEO Jason Kim is giddy, claiming their engines are built by “the best in the world.” Meanwhile, the lander, equipped with high-tech trinkets, might snap some cool photos—if it doesn't freeze or crash first. Just remember, this is the "exciting" new wave of space exploration by companies that often struggle with basic propulsion.
The Good Ol'Ads
Anti-DOGE protests at Tesla stores target Elon Musk’s bottom line
Acidly: In a glorious display of misplaced energy, protesters descended on Tesla stores nationwide, taking aim at the billionaire's ego, better known as Elon Musk. These eco-warriors, fueled by a healthy blend of rage and irony, chanted against Trump's financial apocalypse. “Let’s hurt Elon!” they screamed, while simultaneously ignoring the fact that the man’s net worth rivals small countries. With swastikas and Molotov cocktails making cameo appearances, one can only wonder: did they think this would actually change anything? Good luck with that!
Samsung reveals Galaxy A56 with more AI and a modest spec bump
Acidly: Samsung is doubling down on budget-friendly AI with new phones, because who wouldn't want a cheap device packed with "awesome intelligence"? The Galaxy A56, A36, and A26 come with features like Best Face, which lets you edit out blinking in photos—perfect for those awkward family albums. Upgraded chips? Sure, but the A36 gets last-gen tech. Grab one if you’re dying for a 6.7-inch screen and mediocre selfies. Just remember: at $499, it's the budget option nobody asked for. Enjoy!
Texas Official Warns Against ‘Measles Parties’ Amid Growing Outbreak
Acidly: In Texas, where critical thinking must've taken a vacation, health authorities are issuing a "stop having measles parties" memo. With 146 cases and one dead unvaccinated child, you’d think common sense might kick in. But alas, social media still tempts some to celebrate germs like it’s a birthday bash. Experts warn it's like Russian roulette with children's lives, yet the low-vax counties apparently missed that memo. So, let the outbreak continue; nothing says freedom like ignoring science, right? Bravo, Texas!