Tornado outbreak live updates: 40 tornadoes, 31 dead in cross-country storm system
Acidly: In a plot twist that even Mother Nature would find shocking, tornadoes swept across Mississippi, leaving three unfortunate souls – including a juvenile – in their wake. Tylertown Police Chief Jordan Hill attempted to sound calm while confirming the fatalities, as if the mere act of devastation could be routine. Meanwhile, the South dodged 40 tornadoes like it was dodging taxes. With severe weather threatening eight states, residents now have a reason to document their wrecked homes. Hope they find time between fighting flash floods!
Trump Orders U.S. Strikes Against Houthi Militant Sites in Yemen
Acidly: Ah, another day, another bombing campaign in Yemen, courtesy of President Trump. His military's latest crusade—because who doesn't love a good military offensive on a Saturday?—targets the Houthi rebels who love to disrupt international shipping much to everyone's delight. After all, Trump's got to strut his stuff after Biden's supposedly "pathetic" attempts at stability. What’s a few collateral casualties when you can flex military might? Let’s see if this sparks a new conflict or just adds to the chaos.
Florence and Pisa on alert as flooding hits northern Italy
Acidly: Ah, Tuscany, the land of wine, cheese, and now, apparently, mudslides. Florence looked like a swimming pool after a wild party, with a month’s rain falling in just hours—talk about a refreshing change of scenery. Rescue teams were on high alert, and schools closed because who needs education when you can wade through flooded streets? Meanwhile, Lombardy residents are reminded that climate change is not just a myth—it's a really bad vacation that keeps coming back for more. Enjoy the scenic disaster!
The Good Ol'Ads
Cooper Flagg injury update: Duke star's availability for March Madness not in doubt, NCAA senior VP reveals
Acidly: Duke's Cooper Flagg, the glorified freshman, sprained his ankle and is a dramatic mess, rolling on the ground and cursing like a toddler failing at a game. Despite his Oscar-worthy performance, he's not playing in the ACC championship against Louisville. Don’t worry, though—NCAA’s bigwigs assure us he’ll be back for the NCAA Tourney. So, brace yourselves, brackets! A colossal “good sprain” won’t stop him from dazzling us with 19.4 points per game. Because nothing says “team player” like hopping on one foot.
Inside Disney’s ‘Snow White’ Premiere With Rachel Zegler and Gal Gadot
Acidly: Oh, the glittering spectacle of the "Snow White" premiere! Rachel Zegler’s arrival in a light pink ballgown practically screamed, "I'm here for the drama!"—a stark contrast to the lackluster crowd of photographers. Gal Gadot grinned alongside, playing the Evil Queen in more ways than one. At least kids had magic nail polish to distract from their existential dread. Meanwhile, Zegler's defense of her character's agency and identity amid backlash begs the question: will it be a fairy tale or a fairy fail? Buckle up, March 21 is going to be riveting.
Successful SpaceX Dragon launch in mission to get NASA astronauts on ISS back to Earth
Acidly: So, NASA managed to launch the SpaceX Crew-10 mission after a nail-biting delay due to a broken clamp. Can’t have astronauts flying with faulty gear, right? Williams and Wilmore, who are basically the space version of couch potatoes, are nearing their much-anticipated return from the ISS after a delightful nine-month vacation up there. They’ll do their thing with a new crew while pretending they're not thrilled to finally come back to Earth. 200 scientific experiments, or just space bingo? You decide.
The Good Ol'Ads
California man wins $50 million in lawsuit over burns from Starbucks tea
Acidly: In a stunning turn of events, delivery driver Michael Garcia scored $50 million after a Starbucks tea wreaked havoc on his lap, causing third-degree burns. Apparently, drive-thru hot beverages are more volatile than expected. Garcia’s legal team calls it accountability; Starbucks plans to appeal, feeling the jury’s decision was a bit too dramatic, considering the coffee giant insists they uphold “high safety standards.” So, who knew tea could lead to a financial tea party? Cheers to injustice served hot!
Engadget review recap: MacBook Air, Mac Studio, Ninja Creami and Technics AZ100
Acidly: Ah, ‘tis the glorious reviews season, where techies dissect overpriced gadgets with the enthusiasm of a starving dog at a steakhouse. Apple's M4 MacBook Air? Nearly flawless, or just perfectly overpriced at $999—for “ultraportable” bragging rights? Ninja’s Creami ice cream machine promises soft serve at home; because why not craft overpriced treats when you can already buy them? The new Technics earbuds are nice, yet somehow still lack Bose-level noise-canceling. And MSI's Claw 8 AI+? Finally, a gaming handheld that didn't crash and burn—who knew they had it in them?
Message from Bay Area doctors: Get vaccinated for measles
Acidly: In a classic case of “better late than never,” Bay Area health officials are begging residents to get measles vaccinations. With cases climbing in the U.S. and two fatalities in Texas—shocking, I know—now's the time to run to your local clinic. Sure, measles is exceptionally contagious, but hey, who needs that pesky vaccine anyway? Just ask San Francisco’s Dr. Susan Philip, who reminds us that unvaccinated kids might be the life of the party. So, if your child isn’t vaccinated, plan on sharing a nice measles vacation soon.