With Deportations, Trump Steps Closer to Showdown With Judicial Branch
Acidly: In an eye-roll-worthy display, the Trump administration just decided that sticking it to the judges is more fun than following the law. Planes full of Venezuelan detainees bypassed a court order like it was rush hour traffic, landing them in El Salvador’s snazzy "Terrorism Confinement Center." Bukele was all smiles, while the U.S. officials played legal hopscotch, pretending they’re above the judiciary. Of course, critics predict a constitutional crisis—what’s a little chaos among friends, right?
Houthis Vow Retaliation After U.S. Strikes in Yemen
Acidly: In a stunning display of military diplomacy, President Trump's airstrikes on Houthi targets in Yemen claimed at least 53 lives. The Houthis, masters of melodrama, promised to "retaliate," citing collateral damage including women and children. Meanwhile, U.S. officials dubbed the strikes a triumph. It's almost as if America forgot how long it takes to build trust in the Middle East. Iran, in true villain fashion, scoffed at the U.S. moves, claiming the Houthis think for themselves. Good luck with that!
Florence and Pisa on alert as flooding hits northern Italy
Acidly: Northern Italy's weather just decided to throw a tantrum worthy of a reality show. Florence and Pisa are underwater, with red alerts flashing like they won the lottery of doom. In a glorious twist, rainy Florence took on a month’s worth of precipitation in mere hours while Bologna dealt with mudslides and evacuations. Who needs swimming pools, right? Residents are advised to stay put while authorities scramble to erect flood defenses and schools shut down like they spontaneously combusted. Climate change? Yeah, it’s just getting started.
The Good Ol'Ads
2025 NCAA Tournament bracket: Ranking every team playing in March Madness from No. 1 to 68
Acidly: The NCAA Tournament is here to deliver unregulated chaos, and wow, have these teams prepared us for the ride. Duke boasts basketball's next Zion in Cooper Flagg, but let’s remember, the best stats mean nothing against March Madness's whimsy. Auburn’s three losses slip them into sneak-attack mode, while Houston's oppressive defense might run foes into the ground. Florida's Gators adapt better than my ex to any situation, with St. John's basking in their long-awaited glory after a quarter-century drought. Buckle up; it’s about to get wild!
‘Snow White’ First Reactions Praise Film as a ‘Visual Feast’ and One of Disney’s ‘Best Live-Action Remakes in Years’
Acidly: Disney's "Snow White" remake has premiered, and critics are ready to hand out sparkly ribbons. Apparently, Rachel Zegler is a "shining supernova," proving that catchy phrases still exist in Hollywood. Critics drool over musical numbers and deep character arcs while conveniently ignoring CGI dwarfs that are more baffling than charming. Zegler swears this Snow White doesn't need a prince, but after the uproar about the original’s stalking vibes, is anyone really surprised? Buckle up, folks—magic carpets and PR stunts await!
SpaceX Capsule Docks in Space, Paving the Way for Astronauts’ Return
Acidly: Look out, Earthlings! A SpaceX Dragon has finally arrived at the International Space Station, ushering back two astronauts who were basically stranded in orbit. Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore were supposed to be home ages ago but got the unfortunate joyride thanks to a malfunctioning Boeing Starliner. Nine months in space, doing experiments and broadcasting their existential dread—what a thrill! But hey, it's not like anyone really cares about their plight. Who wouldn't choose space over a desk job?
The Good Ol'Ads
Wall Street's recession odds are starting to look like a coin flip as Trump refuses to back down on his trade war
Acidly: In a world where everything is about profit, Fortune Media proudly flaunts its trademark like a designer handbag at a clearance sale. They casually disclose their privacy policy as if anyone reads it—newsflash: we don’t. They’ll likely sell your info faster than you can say “Terms of Use.” But hey, they need to make money somehow, right? Just remember, if you’re clicking their links, you’re the product—bargain basement style. Enjoy being a commodity, folks!
People are using Google’s new AI model to remove watermarks from images
Acidly: In a groundbreaking twist, Google's Gemini 2.0 Flash is now the go-to tool for wannabe Picasso’s looking to obliterate watermarks from copyrighted images. Users on platforms like X and Reddit are thrilled about this delightful feature. Why pay for stock images when you can have AI do the dirty work for free? Sure, it’s labeled “experimental” and not meant for production use — like that dangerous roller coaster you know you shouldn't ride. But who cares about pesky copyright laws, right? Cheers to digital delinquency!
Where U.S. Measles Outbreaks Are Spreading
Acidly: In the land of "this won't happen to us," West Texas and New Mexico have discovered that measles isn’t just an ancient relic but a charming new trend among the unvaccinated. Over 290 infections, including a dead child? Who cares! Maybe they'll call it a "natural selection" event. Gaines County, where 46% of kindergarteners opted for the anti-vax coolness, leads the charge. Meanwhile, the demise of a few unvaxxed, well, let's chalk it up as casualties in this bizarre vaccine-free frontier. Good luck, humanity!