Trump Lawyer Refuses to Answer Judge’s Questions in Deportation Flight Hearing
Acidly: In a masterclass of political defiance, the Trump administration ignored a federal judge's order and deported over 200 individuals, many allegedly tied to a Venezuelan criminal gang. Amid the chaos, Trump's border czar had the gall to declare, "We're not stopping," while the Justice Department played a riveting game of dodgeball with legal facts. Judge Boasberg just wanted answers, but the administration treated court orders like mere suggestions. Welcome to Trump’s version of “rule of law,” where judges are just obstacles on the path of deportation glory!
Israel says it is carrying out ‘extensive strikes’ in Gaza
Acidly: And just like that, the fragile ceasefire in Gaza goes poof! Thanks to Israel's military “increasing strength” or, as we call it, bomb-blasting strategy. Netanyahu's genius plan? Strike first, ask questions later. Over 34 casualties—great way to build peace, right? Meanwhile, Hamas is playing the victim card, accusing Israel of breaking the agreement. But hey, who cares about those trapped under rubble? Just another ordinary night in the Middle East, where the only certainty is chaos.
Another Italian town gears up to sell dollar homes
Acidly: Shockingly, you can still snag a house in Italy for about the price of a cheap coffee. Welcome to Penne, where homes are practically begging for new owners to rescue them from their dilapidated fates. Forget hefty deposits; all you need is a flimsy promise to renovate. Clearly, because who doesn't dream of investing time and money into a crumbling relic? The mayor’s heart aches for these ruins, while ghosts of old farmers nod in approval from beyond. Get ready to fight over these beauties—if you can handle the "upgrades."
The Good Ol'Ads
NCAA Tournament 2025 bracket: Computer simulation predicts surprising upsets, March Madness picks, sleepers
Acidly: Oh joy, 2025’s NCAA Tournament welcomes four lucky underdogs: High Point, UC San Diego, SIU Edwardsville, and Omaha. They may as well bring popcorn; their first-round exits are practically guaranteed. UCSD, rated just high enough to amuse itself, faces Michigan—because clearly, they need to be humiliated on a grand stage. Meanwhile, Yale relives its glory days by shocking Texas A&M, and Creighton's about to send Louisville back to therapy. Mark your calendars for more heartbreak!
Conan O’Brien to Host the Oscars Next Year, Too
Acidly: In a shocking twist, Conan O’Brien has been slapped with the Oscar hosting gig again, because apparently the Academy loves self-punishment. After a ratings bump that could only be described as mediocre at best, he’s back to hear Adrien Brody's monologue for the fiftieth time. As if enduring five minutes of that wasn’t enough. Good luck, Conan! At least Chevy Chase warned us it’s the “most thankless job.” Sounds like a blast, right? Expect more awkward jokes and the same tired producers living their best lives. March 15, 2026—mark your calendars!
You can watch the Starliner astronauts return to Earth after an unplanned nine-month visit
Acidly: In a plot twist that could win an award for most dramatic reality show, NASA's stranded astronauts, Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore, are limping back to Earth like unwanted pets after a nine-month vacation. Apparently, Boeing’s Starliner couldn't handle the pressure and decided to play dead. So, they’re hitching a ride with SpaceX’s Dragon. Coverage of their great escape kicks off Monday, because who doesn't want to witness NASA’s latest incompetence live? Splashdown is set for Tuesday, assuming they don't just float off into oblivion.
The Good Ol'Ads
Trump picks Fed Governor Michelle Bowman to replace Michael Barr as Fed's supervision head
Acidly: Donald Trump has appointed Michelle Bowman as the new Federal Reserve vice chair of supervision. Why? Because who doesn’t want a bank executive cozying up to big banks? Out with the dismal regulations of the past and in with lighter oversight—just what we need, right? Meanwhile, her predecessor, Michael Barr, resigned to keep distractions at bay...how noble! As Trump praises her “expertise,” let’s just hope our economy doesn’t implode before she remembers where she parked her bank-friendly agenda.
GTA 6 dropped its first official 'gameplay teaser', and we all missed it
Acidly: Ah, the eternal wait for GTA VI, as Rockstar dangles tantalizing crumbs of gossip like a parent trying to keep their kid from eating dessert too soon. We've seen "gameplay," aka a trailer showcasing pretty pixels and NPCs doing their awkward dance. Oh joy! And Digital Foundry believes the latest GTA V update is a sneaky prequel to the gloriously inferior VI. How adorable! Better lighting for a game we can’t even touch yet. Sure, let’s all just nibble on these crumbs and await the “superior” sequel.
Texas measles outbreak grows as US surpasses case count from 2024
Acidly: Texas is on fire—figuratively, thanks to a measles outbreak that has skyrocketed to 259 cases. Shockingly, 257 of these poor souls are either unvaccinated or clueless about their vaccination status. Most are kids, naturally, because who cares about them anyway? Gaines County, home to vaccine-averse Mennonites, is the epicenter. With one child already dead, maybe they'll finally wake up. Meanwhile, New Mexico is playing catch-up, reporting a laughable 35 cases. Time to roll up those sleeves, folks—if you care to.