Supreme Court Overturns Block on Trump Administration’s Venezuelan Deportations
Acidly: In a blockbuster ruling, the Supreme Court has given the Trump administration the green light to continue deporting Venezuelan migrants, because why bother with due process when you can just chuck them to a brutal prison in El Salvador? The justices, in their infinite wisdom, decided it’s more important to argue over legal venues than the blatant misuse of the Alien Enemies Act. So, it's decided: procedural nitpicking is far more pressing than human rights violations. Thanks, America!
Video Shows Search for Missing Gaza Paramedics Before Israelis Shoot Rescuers
Acidly: In a stunning display of 'humanitarian concern,' Israeli troops shot at paramedics in Gaza, insisting it was a "perceived threat." Clearly, with their sirens blaring and uniforms on, unarmed aid workers were a major danger. The Red Crescent called it a “war crime,” but hey, who needs accountability? Six of the dead were dubbed Hamas, sans evidence. Meanwhile, two more people were obliterated near a hospital—just another day in paradise. Let's all pat ourselves on the back for our concern over "independent investigations."
King and Queen's new wedding anniversary photos in Italy
Acidly: In a dazzling display of royal charm, King Charles and Queen Camilla roll into Italy for their 20th anniversary, flashing smiles worthy of a toothpaste ad. Posing in lush gardens, the Queen's brooch screams "enduring love"—or maybe just "look at me!" Amid a forecast of pizza, pomp, and pointless diplomacy, they aim to resuscitate UK-Italy ties. Let's not forget the Pope's scheduling conflict, giving him a much-needed break from royalty fatigue. Buckle up, world; it's royal tourism season!
The Good Ol'Ads
2025 NCAA Tournament championship game picks, expert predictions, odds: Houston vs. Florida score predictions
Acidly: In a nail-biting spectacle that truly showed how Duke can’t handle pressure, Houston managed to pull off a shocking comeback, defeating the Blue Devils 70-67. Meanwhile, Florida mildly squeaked past Auburn, because why not? Now, these two powerhouses—both with an impressive 35 wins—are set to duke it out in the finals. Expert Casale thinks Houston will edge Florida, mostly because he’s banking on their defense to exploit Florida's sloppy play. Place your bets; it could go either way, or neither. Enjoy the chaos!
‘White Lotus’ Finale Ratings: 6.2 Million Viewers Watch Season 3 Shootout, Smashing Series Record by 30%
Acidly: Season 3 of "The White Lotus" wrapped up with more corpses than a mortuary and a whopping 6.2 million people glued to their screens. Apparently, watching rich idiots meet grisly ends is all the rage. Viewership soared by 158% since the premiere, proving that we love watching others suffer more than we care about real issues. HBO’s numbers show that everyone and their dog tuned in—because who doesn’t want to binge on death and dysfunction? 20 million browsers can't be wrong, right? Welcome to peak entertainment.
Dire wolf revived through biotech company's de-extinction process
Acidly: Colossal Biosciences is resurrecting the dire wolf, because apparently 10,000 years of extinction wasn’t enough. Sure, let’s clone ancient beasts while real animals teeter on extinction—like our good buddy, the red wolf, with barely any left in the wild. CEO Ben Lamm’s fancy investors include Paris Hilton, so you know it's serious business. While scientists debate if these clones are honestly dire wolves or just fancy gray wolves in costume, we can all agree on one thing: this endeavor screams "planet-saving" while flashily ignoring the dying species right outside our door. Bravo, Colossal, bravo.
The Good Ol'Ads
Trump Tariffs Live Updates: Global Stocks and U.S. Futures Drop as Trade War Intensifies
Acidly: Trump’s trade war—what a glorious mess! Investors are dancing on the edge of despair as market uncertainty reigns, and the S&P plummets 17.6% from its peak. Tariffs? More like a slow train wreck. Countries plead for mercy, but Navarro just sneers, suggesting Vietnam’s crying foul while it “cheats.” Meanwhile, Musk mocks inability in manufacturing. Don’t worry, America, just a lovely recession is on the horizon, perfect for “making stuff again.” Cheers to an economy crumbling under “very beautiful” taxes!
Gemini Live’s screensharing feature is rolling out to Pixel 9 and Galaxy S25 devices
Acidly: Oh, joy—everyone's favorite tech newsletter, crafted by David Pierce, is expanding! Now, paid Gemini Advanced users (because, obviously, you can't get enough of shelling out cash) will soon enjoy the thrill of accessing it on more devices. Exciting, right? Just what we all needed—another reason to cram more screen time into our eyes. Sweeten the deal with a reCAPTCHA that checks if you’re human before bombarding you with ads. Can’t wait for more blissful updates in this tech dystopia!
Health secretary RFK Jr. endorses the MMR vaccine — stoking fury among his supporters
Acidly: Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. recently endorsed the MMR vaccine, triggering a tantrum from the anti-vax brigade. After meeting families who lost children to measles, Kennedy declared vaccines are effective, which didn’t sit well with folks like Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, who believes COVID vaccines magnetize you. Meanwhile, Kennedy's history of anti-vax rhetoric makes his sudden support ironically laughable. But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good conspiracy? Welcome back to the Dark Ages, folks!