Trump Administration News: State Dept. Ignores Order to Detail Return of Wrongly Deported Migrant
Acidly: Caught in the bureaucratic crossfire, Mr. Abrego Garcia’s saga unfolds. Deported to El Salvador due to a "whoopsie-daisy" administrative error, the government now faces a judge's stern frown and orders to spill the details on his "return". However, officials opt for vague statements, raising eyebrows. Meanwhile, as the Trump administration slashes funding for a crucial Arabic media outlet—because who needs soft power?—lawyers gear up for courtroom drama. Welcome to America's chaotic legal circus, folks!
US-Iran negotiators hold ‘constructive’ nuclear talks, will meet again next week
Acidly: Oh, joy, another round of “nuclear negotiations” between Iran and the U.S. Apparently, sitting in adjacent rooms while sending messages through Oman is the new diplomatic chic. Trump’s big guns, Steve Witkoff, is there—paperwork galore. Iran’s foreign minister says they’re “very close” to a deal, which tells you everything about where this is heading: nowhere. With threats of military strikes looming, it’s two nations playing a high-stakes game of chicken while the rest of us hold popcorn. Cheers to “constructive atmosphere”!
King and Queen's new wedding anniversary photos in Italy
Acidly: Ah, King Charles and Queen Camilla are celebrating 20 years of "love" by posing for photos in Italy, a place where they'll charm local crowds as they shovel food while addressing international crises. How romantic! Apparently, the ambassador believes this qualifies as "historical." Can’t wait for the pizza and speeches. Meanwhile, the Pope is "ill," and the King has just recovered from his own health scare—nothing says regal love like diplomatic band-aids! Let the royal spectacle commence!
The Good Ol'Ads
Rory seizes Masters lead, but Bryson just 2 back
Acidly: Rory McIlroy stands on the brink of golf's glory, teetering on a two-stroke lead as the final round of the Masters looms. After a yawn-inducing start, his desperate bid for the green jacket resembles a soap opera: 11 attempts and still no prize. Thank you, Bryson DeChambeau, the uninvited buzzkill, who lurks just behind, sharpening his golf clubs like a villain. Let’s hope Rory's "experience" finally translates into a win; otherwise, his comeback will join the ranks of oversized sweaters in style history.
Lady Gaga Is Queen of the Desert, Benson Boone Channels Freddie Mercury, Lisa Slays at Coachella 2025
Acidly: Ah, Coachella 2025. Picture it: 100-degree heat turning die-hard fans into dehydrated zombies while Lady Gaga descends from the heavens in a gothic opera of self-destruction. She strutted atop an ornate stage, sacrificing her Mother Monster persona for our entertainment. Meanwhile, Missy Elliott reminded us '90s hits are still a thing, and a crowd-surfing Brian May showed why old rockers never die. Oh, and a girl vomited from heatstroke. Truly, what a day to bask in high-minded musical culture.
April's full moon is a 'micromoon.' Here's what that means
Acidly: Ah, the "pink moon" of April—because who doesn't love a celestial event that’s disappointingly pale and 30,000 miles away? Dubbed a micromoon, it’s so small and dim it'll make you squint and wish for a supermoon instead. It's named for flowers, because the moon's color is clearly not part of the conversation. Enjoy searching for it through binoculars while contemplating life choices, because it’ll be the tiniest tease of a full moon until, you guessed it, next month!
The Good Ol'Ads
Trump Adds Tariff Exemptions for Smartphones, Computers and Other Electronics
Acidly: In a shocking twist of irony, while Trump hiked tariffs on Chinese imports, he decided smartphones and gadgets get a free pass. Apple and Dell can breathe easy, for now. The tech giants’ marriages to Trump seem fruitful, as fears of $1,600 iPhones prompt frenzy-buying. Meanwhile, Trump’s “American manufacturer” narrative crumbles like stale bread, as factories remain firmly entrenched in China. Surprise! Reality checks hit harder than tariffs. Watch those fleeting tech profits while the U.S. supply chain dangles by a thread.
Google on other designs it explored for the Pixel 9a camera
Acidly: Google just released the Pixel 9a, complete with a camera bump that got more design iterations than some Hollywood blockbusters. They shared a low-res image of their “design exploration” – a fancy way to say they couldn’t decide how to ruin the aesthetic. The chosen bump is a “pill” shape, because nothing screams innovation like a tiny dome on your phone. Congrats to designers for making it feel less like the awkward cousin it resembles and more like a relative you avoid at family gatherings. At least it’s bright!
US reports highest number of measles cases since 2019: CDC
Acidly: Ah, America—where measles is staging its triumphant comeback like a washed-up rock band. The CDC reports 712 cases spread across 24 states, with Texas leading the charge. A delightful 11% of those stricken are hospitalized—mostly kids, of course. The vaccine? A mere afterthought for many. Who needs it, right? The prize for this chaos? Risking our elimination status for a disease declared "gone" in 2000. Just a friendly reminder from unvaccinated school kids: history repeats itself. Bravo, America!