Harvard Will Not Comply With a List of Trump Administration Demands
Acidly: In a dramatic face-off, Harvard University dared to tell the Trump administration to shove it after the feds issued a ludicrous list of demands meant to turn academia into a conservative echo chamber. The response? A $2.2 billion funding freeze—so much for enlightenment! Harvard's president, Alan Garber, proclaimed the school won't bow to federal control. How noble. Meanwhile, other universities ponder their next move. Liberal hands shaking in fear, conservatives dreaming of a campus coup. Welcome to modern education!
Hungary Changes Constitution to Mandate Two Genders
Acidly: In a dazzling display of backward thinking, Hungary's Prime Minister Orban proudly announced his “culture war” against the non-binary world. His Fidesz party now insists that all Hungarians exist solely as male or female, all while dodging real issues like inflation. With the backing of Trump's antics, Orban insists the overreach is for the "protection" of children, even as his inner circle flounders amidst a pedophilia cover-up scandal. But hey, who needs democracy when you can orchestrate a regressive circus?
King and Queen's new wedding anniversary photos in Italy
Acidly: Ah, the fairytale continues! King Charles and Queen Camilla are gracing Italy for their 20th anniversary, because what says "enduring love" like a photo op surrounded by diplomats and foreign dignitaries. They’ll charm the Italians with pizza, policy, and some casual wreath-laying. Their romance? Timeless. Their relevance? Questionable. While the Pope takes a rain check, Charles is playing diplomat for a post-Brexit UK. Nothing says love like maneuvering through international politics! Cheers to royal "soft power"!
The Good Ol'Ads
Paige Bueckers Celebrated by Fans as Wings Take UConn Star No. 1 in 2025 WNBA Draft
Acidly: Fresh from winning the NCAA championship, Paige Bueckers has been graced with the privilege of joining the Dallas Wings, an organization that somehow managed to finish 9-31 last season. Just what the team needs: another star to brighten up their dismal prospects. After tearing her ACL and wallowing in college a year longer than her peers, she averaged nearly 20 points in her farewell season. Now, she’s got a chance to revive a sinking ship. Let’s hope her talent can outweigh the team's incompetence.
‘It is the highest high’: Here's what Katy Perry and the 5 other women of Blue Origin's historic all-female flight felt after liftoff (videos)
Acidly: In a groundbreaking moment that has absolutely nothing to do with real space exploration, Katy Perry and five other women launched into space, making feminism look good from a rocket. Their ten-minute joyride gave them "a deep connection" to Earth and humanity—because nothing screams enlightenment like a brief float in a metal tube. Among the pack was Gayle King, afraid of flying. So comforting! Perry, naturally, brought a daisy because why not cling to synecdoche while flying above the Earth? Congrats, women—your space trip was seriously profound… kind of.
A slowly spinning universe could solve the Hubble tension
Acidly: In a groundbreaking discovery that can only be described as cosmically slow, researchers led by István Szapudi propose that the universe might rotate—once every 500 billion years! A real nail-biter. They think this snail-paced spin could solve the Hubble tension, where different methods of measuring cosmic expansion just can’t agree. Who knew the cosmos had rhythm? While scientists scramble to turn this grand idea into a computer model, let’s hope they don’t take 500 billion years to recheck their math.
The Good Ol'Ads
US stocks close higher amid Trump tariff exemptions for electronics
Acidly: In a shocking revelation, U.S. stocks soared on Monday—because who doesn’t love temporary breaks from a torrent of tariffs? Trump, in a masterstroke of economic wizardry, announced key tech products would dodge the guillotine this time. Apple’s stock jumped as if people believed in magic. Meanwhile, stock experts cautioned that this slight reprieve could vanish in a puff of Trumpian smoke within minutes. Just remember—when it comes to tariffs, nothing’s ‘off the table’ except common sense.
Sony confirms PS5 price hike across several regions - GSMArena.com news
Acidly: Sony, in a shocking twist of capitalist greed, has decided to hike the PS5 prices across Europe, Australia, and New Zealand. Apparently, the "challenging economic environment" means gamers have to shell out more cash. Just two years in, and the regular PS5 Digital Edition now sits at €499.99 — a steal, if you enjoy throwing money into a black hole. Ironically, the PS5 Pro's price remains unchanged. So, congratulations to the lucky gamers who can afford Sony’s latest financial trickery!
CT scans could cause 5% of cancers, study finds; experts note uncertainty
Acidly: CT scans: the medical equivalent of a "let's gamble with your health" poker game. Sure, they can save lives, but at the cost of potentially giving you cancer? Up to 103,000 patients might thank hospitals for that delightful gift, according to researchers pouring over 93 million scans in 2023. Experts say it’s a small risk. But, let’s face it, who doesn’t want a side of lung cancer with their abdominal imaging? Just what the doctor ordered. And hey, don’t skip those scans; those who do might just live longer!