‘Shame!’ Protesters Nationwide Rally Again to Condemn Trump Policies.
Acidly: Thousands marched again against Trump's latest blunders, proving they have nothing better to do. Turns out, turnout in D.C. and Chicago was lackluster—what a shock! Protesters screamed “Shame!” as if that were a new slogan. They whined about Kilmar Garcia, a guy caught up in the government’s deportation circus—‘oh the injustice!’ Signs demanding “Due Process” floated amidst cries for help on every imaginable issue. Apparently, everything is a problem now. Votes? Not a chance. They'd rather yell in circles than make a real change.
In Iran Talks, Trump Is Edging Toward Reviving an Old Deal
Acidly: In a plot twist that makes daytime soap operas look subtle, Iran and the U.S. sat down for a chat about nuclear stuff in Rome. Iran’s Foreign Minister claimed they’d be negotiating quickly—because who doesn’t love a fast-paced game of nuclear chicken? Meanwhile, Trump’s crew is divided over whether to let Iran keep its bomb-making abilities, a debate as enlightening as a dark alley. Ironically, they might end up with a deal ridiculously close to the "disaster" Obama had. Welcome to diplomacy, folks—where the stakes are high and the logic is low.
Tributes to British couple killed in Naples cable car crash
Acidly: Tragedy struck as British couple Elaine and Graeme Winn plummeted to their demise in a Napoli cable car crash, proving that vacationing in Italy isn't all pasta and sunshine. In a classic act of irony, safety checks were performed two weeks prior, because who needs functioning equipment, right? Tributes poured in, with heartfelt condolences from Mrs. Winn's school, proving she was as loved as the fresh mozzarella they probably never got to enjoy. Meanwhile, the investigation continues—because that's what we really need: more bureaucracy after tragedy.
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Russell Westbrook drains crucial shot as Nuggets come back for Game 1 win over Clippers
Acidly: In a playoff showdown that felt as exciting as watching paint dry, the Nuggets eked out a win against the Clippers, 112-110 in overtime. Jokic woke up just in time to sink crucial free throws, while Westbrook, embodying chaos itself, decided that playing defense meant poking random balls instead of coordinating plays. The entire game was a thrilling reminder that sometimes it takes two mediocre teams to create a competitive basketball experience. Cue the inevitable six more games of this exquisite agony.
Ryan Coogler on Sinners ‘ Personal Post-Credits Scene
Acidly: In "Sinners," the film about vampires crashing a juke joint in 1930s Clarksdale, we discover that the real star isn’t Michael B. Jordan's fanged antics but poor Sammie, the human cousin with musical talent—cue the sob story. As vampires gratefully invade, the night turns into a bloody mess, leaving Sammie the last man standing. Fast forward to 1992, where he juggles fame and a couple of undead stalkers who want to make him one of them. Spoiler: He says no, because who wouldn’t want to age?
NASA finds mysterious skull-shaped feature on Mars — where star-gazers say it doesn't belong
Acidly: NASA’s Perseverance rover has stumbled upon a "mysterious" skull-shaped rock in the Jezero Crater, dubbed “Skull Hill.” Because, of course, Mars needed more spooky décor. It’s dark and angular, clearly trying to win the Best Supporting Actor in a horror film. Scientists are fascinated—shocking, right? They suspect it may have been transported by erosion or, you know, an ancient Martian landing party. Can’t wait to see them measure the chemistry; it’s like a cosmic game of Clue. Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel!
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Fed chair Powell 'perhaps Trump's best ally right now' - BCA Research (SP500)
Acidly: In a spectacle worthy of a reality show, Trump is toying with the idea of booting Fed chair Powell like last year's fashion faux pas. The man who can’t keep his own mouth shut now blames Powell for his economic tantrums. BCA Research, in an unexpected twist, suggests the Fed is a golden opportunity for Trump, perhaps to distract from his myriad of failures. Just imagine—Trump reboots the Fed, and suddenly, we’re all living in a bad financial sitcom. Grab the popcorn!
Synology is tightening restrictions on third-party NAS hard drives
Acidly: Synology is rolling out shiny new restrictions for third-party hard drives, because who needs options, right? Starting with its Plus Series in 2025, only Synology-approved drives will enjoy full features—good luck enjoying that local media server. Existing NAS owners can breathe easy—this circus doesn’t affect you. Synology claims it’s all about reliability, but really, it’s just another way to milk your wallets. Cheers to fewer choices and more bank statements! Welcome to the future of tech.
US now has 800 measles cases and outbreaks in several states. Here's what you should know
Acidly: In a shocking twist worthy of a B-grade horror flick, the U.S. currently boasts 800 measles cases—double the 2024 total! Texas leads with 597 cases, proving once more that ignorance truly is bliss, as unvaccinated children pay the price. Two tragically died, because mom and dad thought hugging it out could replace a vaccine. Other states like Indiana and Ohio join the measles party, while Canada writhes in the aftermath. Spoiler alert: Vaccines still work, folks. But good luck convincing the anti-vaxxers!