Trump 100 Days Live Updates: Michigan Rally, Amazon and Auto Tariffs News

Acidly: At a rally, Trump fluffed his ego by mocking Biden’s bathing suit body, because nothing says “great leader” like punching down. Although he spun economic policies like a carnival ride, reality is less generous: tariffs tanked the stock market and his approval ratings crumble. Meanwhile, protesters outside were dismissed, just like actual facts. In Trump’s world, polls are rigged, reality is flexible, and mocking a predecessor’s physique is the height of presidential conduct. Truly, a class act.

A Contender for the Papacy in the Mold of Francis

Acidly: Cardinal Luis Antonio Gokim Tagle, the “Asian Francis,” thinks he's ill-equipped to lead the world's largest cul de sac of guilt—also known as the Catholic Church. Despite the hype, he laughs at the thought of becoming pope, citing his struggle to manage his own life. He's adored for his humility and charm, yet criticized for dodging the clerical abuse scandal like a game of dodgeball. Healing, he insists, is key—but perhaps not for the victims. Tagle might just be the poster boy for the Church's impressive ability to sidestep accountability.

Who will win the Giro d'Italia 2025? Analysing the favourites

Acidly: Get ready for the 2025 Giro d’Italia, where the buzz is between 35-year-old Roglič and 22-year-old Ayuso. Pogačar's ghost haunts the race after skipping out, leaving us to witness the age-gap showdown. Roglič brings experience, but Ayuso’s fresh and eager to avoid becoming a footnote. With a bunch of contenders ready to play the spoiler, can they upset the seasoned Slovenian before he rides off into the sunset? Buckle up; it’s bound to be a wild ride through Albania and beyond.

The Good Ol'Ads

Cris Carter unloads on Shedeur Sanders for ‘$50 million’ NFL draft mistake

Acidly: Ah, Shedeur Sanders. A promising quarterback who mistook a pre-draft interview for a fashion show. Instead of dazzling scouts with his talent, he dazzled them with a necklace worth more than my car. Cris Carter hilariously points out that all those glitzy threads didn’t come with a winning attitude. Result? Fifth-round pick with a shot at a rotting franchise. Enjoy your $30 million loss, kiddo. Maybe next time, leave the bling at home and bring your A-game instead.

Box Office: ‘Thunderbolts*’ to Kick Off Summer Season in Pivotal Moment for Marvel Studios

Acidly: Marvel's latest cash grab, "Thunderbolts," is set to kick off summer with a thrilling blend of lesser-known heroes and mediocrity. With a budget of $180 million, it aims for a humdrum $70 million domestic debut. Critics praise its “heart” amidst a troupe of rejects poised to off each other yet somehow become a dysfunctional family. It’s refreshing to see Disney wade into deeper topics, like mental health, while pumping out another sequel. Here’s hoping audiences go out of sheer boredom!

Vega-C rocket launches European forest-monitoring 'Biomass' satellite to orbit (video)

Acidly: A sat-nav for trees just blasted off from South America—because sending a hunk of metal to orbit is apparently more important than caring for our actual forests. The ESA’s Biomass satellite is set to spend five years snooping on trees, measuring carbon, and proving that we care about nature, all while the planet smolders below. After a troubled past, Vega-C finally hitched a ride to space. Let’s hope it doesn’t decide to be the next cosmic failure, or the trees won't be the only ones in trouble.

The Good Ol'Ads

Trump Applauds Bezos After Amazon Refutes Claim It Planned To Display Tariff Costs

Acidly: Oh, the drama! The White House is throwing shade at Amazon for considering revealing price hikes due to Trump's tariffs. Because, you know, tariffs are the only cause of inflation—totally ignoring the basket of factors under Biden. Bezos, the world’s second-richest man, might have some pointers on navigating this mess, given his history with Trump. Meanwhile, Amazon's stock wobbles like a toddler on a sugar rush. But let’s not forget: they’ll still report jaw-dropping earnings soon, and the rich just keep getting richer.

Google’s NotebookLM expands its AI podcast feature to more languages

Acidly: Ah, Google's NotebookLM—because who doesn't want another overly ambitious AI project cluttering their lives? Now, you can generate AI-hosted podcasts in 76 different languages from your boring legal briefs. Yes, great, let's turn mandatory readings into multilingual audio dramas! Forget actual interactions; just upload a document, slap on some “virtual host” jargon, and voila! Your students can now listen to “key insights” in whatever language you choose. Because why read when a robotic whisper can do it for you? Exciting.

What We Know About Phthalates in Plastic and Heart Disease

Acidly: In a groundbreaking revelation, researchers found that 350,000 people worldwide essentially succumbed to heart disease in 2018 thanks to our plastic-loving ways—thanks, phthalates! These charming little endocrine disruptors inhabit your shampoo, toys, and even food. While experts urge caution on the study's validity (because who needs accuracy?), it’s clear: our obsession with convenience could literally be killing us. More research is required, of course, because let’s just keep puppeteering our health until the end.