Converting luxury jet gifted to Trump into Air Force One could cost hundreds of millions
Acidly: Ah, another day, another Trumpian scheme. This time, the former president thinks a shiny Qatar jet can replace Air Force One. Sure, it’s a $400 million gift that’ll cost taxpayers double just to secure. Nothing says national security like flying on an aircraft with a tik-tok of foreign bugs. Ted Cruz and Jack Reed aren’t thrilled either, but hey, who cares about espionage when you could have a luxury upgrade! Meanwhile, Boeing is still figuring out how to deliver the real Air Force One. Classic.
Trump Says He Will Lift Sanctions on Syria at Saudi Investment Forum: Live Updates
Acidly: Amidst a circus of political posturing, California's AG claims Trump's funding cuts are a disaster for states. These legal titans are battling over who gets cash for disaster readiness versus immigrant deportation. Meanwhile, the White House insists the real crime is Democrats playing politics rather than prosecuting "gangster illegal aliens." Oh, good luck with that one! All this legal drama while a Wisconsin judge gets nabbed for sneaking an undocumented immigrant out of her courtroom. Truly, a comedy of errors in the land of the free.
Stanley Tucci returns to Italy in new travel series
Acidly: Stanley Tucci is back, gallivanting through Italy like a caffeinated caricature in “Tucci in Italy.” Forget the fact that the first show tanked; now he's prancing around Michelin-starred kitchens, begging chefs not to ruin risotto with salmon eggs. Each episode explores a different region, spotlighting Italian cuisine and the underbelly of social issues. Who knew a sandwich made from a cow's stomach was the gateway to discussing immigration and gay rights? Italy’s bright, sunny facade shatters, revealing a nation that's less about pizza and more about pain. Bravo, Tucci!
The Good Ol'Ads
Celtics' Jayson Tatum undergoes surgery to repair ruptured Achilles tendon
Acidly: Celtics center Kristaps Porzingis had a revelation: sports are tough. Thanks, Captain Obvious. The team now has to rally after a 3-1 deficit, despite being hampered by a parade of injuries—how quaint. Jaylen Brown’s “confidence” remains high, which is sweet, but good luck with that hefty tax bill looming like a dark cloud. With new ownership and a potential roster overhaul on the table, it seems the Celtics might feel the pain in more ways than one. Enjoy that $500 million hangover!
Sean 'Diddy' Combs Trial Live Updates: Cassie Testifies in Sex-Trafficking Case
Acidly: So here's the scoop: Sean Combs—aka Puff Daddy, a master of "adult choices"—stands accused of turning consensual relationships into a RICO nightmare. His defense claims it's not about his violent temper or that pesky domestic violence; it’s a “misunderstanding” of who gets off on the "wild king nights" with escorts. The prosecution argues that the only thing “consensual” was the desire for cash and fame. As the courtroom drama unfolds, expect plenty of cringe-worthy revelations—because who doesn’t want to air dirty laundry on a federal stage?
The Milky Way will be visible across the US this month. Here's how to get the best views.
Acidly: Ah, the Milky Way, that elusive band of glory in the night sky! Get ready for its grand entrance after being muffled by the neon glow of society. Turns out, one-third of Earth’s population can’t even catch a glimpse, thanks to light pollution swelling like our ego—up by 10% yearly. If you want to impress your friends with stargazing, trek to a "Dark Sky Place." But good luck: timing is everything, and if you miss that narrow window in May, you’ll be left staring into the abyss of your own ignorance. Enjoy!
The Good Ol'Ads
UnitedHealth stock drops nearly 18% as CEO Witty is replaced by Hemsley
Acidly: In a shocking twist worthy of a soap opera, UnitedHealth Group's CEO Andrew Witty has exited stage left, leaving the company in a financial Titanic situation—sinking stocks, massive losses, and a recent executive getting executed. Investors were thrilled to hear the financial guidance is now out the window—who needs stability in health care anyway? Welcome back, Stephen Hemsley; now's your chance to resurrect this sinking ship. Strap in for the upcoming “return to growth” saga—who doesn’t love a good comeback story?
Samsung beats Apple to punch, launches ultrathin Galaxy S25 Edge months before the 'iPhone Air'
Acidly: Samsung just dropped the Galaxy S25 Edge, flaunting its 5.8 mm thickness like it's the holy grail of smartphones. Sure, it’s $1,099 and weighs less than a bag of chips, but with only two cameras, it seems that 'thin' took the lead over 'functional.' The real kicker? Apple is set to release its own superthin contender soon. Because nothing says innovation like shaving off a couple of millimeters. Yes, folks, prepare for the fierce battle of the phones that are almost too light to be useful.
Texas measles outbreak reaches D-FW, with linked cases in Collin and Rockwall counties
Acidly: Breaking news from the land of y’all: the measles outbreak has made its glamorous entrance into the Dallas-Fort Worth area. Two fresh cases are now basking in the limelight, thanks to a not-so-timely update from the Texas health officials. With 717 cases reported and a couple of kids tragically dying—both unvaccinated, obviously—who knew ignoring science was such a potent life choice? Meanwhile, Texas is clearly winning the contagious game as neighbors New Mexico and Oklahoma watch in horror. Cheers to public health!