Kremlin calls Trump 'emotional' after US president says Putin is 'crazy'
Acidly: In a brilliant display of emotional nuance, Trump declares Putin "absolutely crazy" after the latter launches a massive missile fiesta on Ukraine, killing 13. Meanwhile, Peskov insists this is all just an emotional overload—everyone's feeling it, folks! Germany's Merz decides it’s time to throw the limits on arms out the window. Zelensky, not one to mince words, calls Russia's aggression a political choice. So, in short: chaos reigns, and emotions are running wild. But hey, at least they’re talking, right?
Shots fired as Gaza aid group struggles to distribute food
Acidly: The Gaza Humanitarian Foundation (GHF) is making headlines this week, serving a whopping 8,000 food boxes amid an Israeli blockade. Bravo! Meanwhile, panic ensues as crowds rush the distribution center in Rafah, only to be met with warning shots from Israeli forces—because nothing says “humanitarian” quite like a near-miss from a helicopter. The UN calls it “heartbreaking,” while GHF blames Hamas for delays. Critics say GHF’s operations are a glorified distraction. Well, who needs transparency when chaos reigns supreme?
As it happened: Dramatic Giro d'Italia stage 16 sees big changes on GC and breakaway success in the mountains
Acidly: Stage 16 of the Giro d'Italia was as pleasant as a dentist appointment in a downpour. Over 200 km of sheer agony with nearly 5,000m of climbing—it’s almost like they want riders to suffer. Primož Roglič, who knows a thing or two about drama, crashed out and left us with young Isaac del Toro just clinging to his pink jersey. Meanwhile, Richard Carapaz had a day worthy of a superhero, zooming up climbs and plucking time like ripe fruit. Can Del Toro survive the next mountain apocalypse? Stay tuned!
The Good Ol'Ads
Knicks-Pacers Game 4: Live updates, highlights as New York looks to even series
Acidly: Nestled in the rubble of the Eastern Conference finals, the Knicks have a shot at redemption. They wowed us with a miraculous comeback in Game 3, proving they can close a gap—kind of like me closing the gap on a bag of chips at 2 AM. They’re up against the Pacers, who have mastered the art of crushing dreams like they’re the last cookie in the jar. Will the Knicks continue to skate on their thin ice or plunge into a guaranteed 3-1 disaster? Get your popcorn, folks—this circus might get messy.
Sean 'Diddy' Combs trial takeaways: Former assistant Capricorn Clark testifies that Combs kidnapped her and wanted to kill Kid Cudi
Acidly: Sean “Diddy” Combs is proving to be the gift that keeps on giving—thanks to his ongoing sex trafficking trial. His former assistant, Capricorn Clark, revealed a delightful mix of abuse and threats, claiming Combs wanted her to join him in a kidnapping plot against Kid Cudi. Who knew “Bad Boy” meant something more sinister? With a side of forced drug runs and violent outbursts, it’s clear Combs is competing for the title of Worst Boss Ever. Seriously, life imprisonment might be the only gift left that he deserves.
Scientists Have Made a Dark Discovery About Earth's Oceans—Experts Call It a “Genuine Cause for Concern”
Acidly: Brace yourselves, folks! The ocean is turning into a gloomy abyss. Scientists reveal that nearly 20% of Earth’s oceans have darkened since the early 2000s, because why not? Algal blooms and agricultural runoff are pushing marine life closer to the surface, fighting over scraps. But don’t worry—10% of the ocean got lighter! Progress? Who cares about ecosystems when we can have a bit of irony in our climate disaster? Warning: this darkening could impact fish, air, and our fragile little planet! Shocking, right?
The Good Ol'Ads
SpaceX Launches Starship on Test Flight 9: Video and What to Know
Acidly: SpaceX fired up its colossal Starship again, aiming for the stars but instead collecting a trophy of failure. Sure, it limped into space—propellant leaks and spinning out of control aside—but it fizzled back down, disintegrating like a bad idea. Engineers are patting themselves on the back for partial successes, like not blowing up on the way up. Oh, and the payload door? Yeah, that did nothing. Bravo, Musk. Seems like Mars is still waiting for its first tourist.
OnePlus is replacing its Alert Slider with, yes, an AI button
Acidly: OnePlus has decided to trade the tired Alert Slider for something called the Plus Key, which does all the mundane tasks you could’ve done yourself. Want to remember an appointment? Just press a button! Oh look, it also has AI Plus Mind that saves your screen info, because we all needed a digital babysitter. Remember, it'll only work on the OnePlus 13s in Asia for now—so good luck if you're not living there. And hey, don’t get too excited; this genius innovation seems ripped off from Nothing’s Essential Key. Progress? More like a copy-paste job.
Maternal Mental Health Has Declined, Study Says
Acidly: In a groundbreaking revelation, a study found that U.S. mothers’ mental health took a nosedive from 2016 to 2023. Shocking, right? Those claiming "excellent" mental health plummeted while "poor" ratings skyrocketed—especially among single parents. Great job, America! Meanwhile, the wise folks in power ponder how to boost marriage and birthrates, as if “you’re not alone” serves as a magic mantra. Surprise! It’s not just COVID—financial strain and neglect have mothers drowning. The silver lining? At least they’re now venting about it online. Bravo!