Trump Pledges to Double Tariffs on Foreign Steel to 50%
Acidly: In the latest episode of "Trump's Tariff Tango," our illustrious president announced he’ll double steel and aluminum tariffs because, apparently, protecting American jobs by raising prices is an effective strategy—who needs consumers, anyway? As he hailed a baffling partnership between U.S. Steel and Nippon Steel (so much for stopping foreign takeovers), he assured steelworkers they’d still be "controlled by the U.S.A." Sure, buddy. Meanwhile, the legal saga surrounding his previous tariffs continues, because what’s a presidency without a little chaotic irony?
How Israel is responding to latest U.S. proposals to pause war in Gaza
Acidly: Israel's latest peace proposal is about as solid as a soap bubble. It suggests a 60-day cease-fire while Hamas sits in its corner, still refusing an official response. Israel gives up hostages like a bad magician while demanding thousands of Palestinian detainees in return. Spoiler: the war resumes after the deadline—groundhog day, anyone? Amid chaos, Israelis fight for hostages, with calls for diplomacy falling on deaf ears. Netanyahu's power game continues, leaving hostages as pawns in his deadly chess match. How charming!
As it happened: late GC attacks in brutal penultimate mountain stage of the Giro d'Italia
Acidly: Nicolas Prodhomme cycled like a man possessed, leaving over 30 hopefuls in the dust on Stage 19 of the Giro d'Italia. Meanwhile, the real stars—Isaac del Toro and Richard Carapaz—dawdled behind, planning to pounce like cats on a hot tin roof. As Prodhomme celebrated his monumental win, Del Toro and Carapaz futilely sprinted for second, with Del Toro snatching up bonus seconds to make it just a tad less embarrassing. Simon Yates? Cue the sad trombone; he’s out of the running, leaving us to wonder: did anyone even notice?
The Good Ol'Ads
Weigh-In Results | UFC Fight Night: Blanchfield vs Barber
Acidly: The UFC loves to parade its “elite” fighters, and May 31 in Vegas is just another excuse for a glorified weigh-in. Erin Blanchfield vs. Maycee Barber? Riveting. Barber's 126.5 pounds means she’ll be donating 20% of her purse like a charitable heavyweight. Meanwhile, Ketlen Vieira’s weight management skills are as effective as a diet coke at a barbecue. They’ll all fight — blurred lines between skill and scale. Tune in if watching people beat each other senseless is your idea of a good time.
Taylor Swift buys back master recordings of first six albums from Shamrock Capital
Acidly: Taylor Swift finally snagged her music back from the clutches of Scooter Braun's gang after a melodramatic chase that made for a cringe-worthy soap opera. In a heartfelt letter, she gushed about bursting into tears—how original! After a tour that broke all records, she thanked her "Swifties" for helping fund her master heist. Now, she gets to dip into the unlimited well of nostalgia with re-recordings. Brace yourselves, folks; she’s just getting started, squeezing every drop of sentimentality for cash and “art” ownership.
Scientists Stunned by Venus’ Bizarre Pancake Volcanoes
Acidly: Welcome to Venus, the planet that can fry your egg and your sanity. Scientists, in a rare show of effort, decided to study the “pancake domes” that look like bad breakfast experiments. They thought thick lava made them, but surprise! Crustal flexure—sounds fancy, huh?—is the real culprit. According to researchers, only ultra-dense lava can congeal slowly enough to create these flatter tops. So, while Earth enjoys a healthy brunch, Venus remains a giant, molten pancake, proving that even planetary cousins can have identity crises.
The Good Ol'Ads
Trump Pledges to Double Tariffs on Foreign Steel to 50%
Acidly: In true cinematic fashion, Trump’s latest masterclass in tariffs promises not so much a “big jolt” but instead a sputtering cough to U.S. Steel, which he once vowed to protect from foreign foes. Now, he’s doubling the tariffs like a contestant on “The Price Is Right.” As the clouds of confusion hover over his “partnership” with Nippon Steel—first an enemy, now a “collaborator”—the steelworkers must be thrilled to be caught in this farcical rollercoaster. Grab the popcorn; it’s a political circus!
Gemini will now automatically summarize your long emails unless you opt out
Acidly: Google's AI assistant, Gemini, is now the unsolicited inbox intruder you never knew you needed. Email summary cards pop up like weeds, boasting to save you time even if most people can't trust AI to summarize a grocery list correctly. Sure, it’ll churn out “key points” from your never-ending email threads, ignoring your actual brain cells in the process. Apparently, being bombarded with more half-baked summaries is progress. But don't worry! You can still click a button, because choice. Enjoy the chaos, folks!
A new COVID subvariant spreads rapidly as Trump pivots away from vaccines
Acidly: California’s latest COVID nightmare has a new subvariant: NB.1.8.1, ready to crash summer pool parties. Meanwhile, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. decided that pregnant women and healthy kids don’t need vaccines, because who needs science anyway? The FDA is now playing “guess if it’s worth a shot” for healthy adults. Great, just what we need—costly vaccines people might avoid. And hey, don’t forget, some experts say kids suffering from COVID hospitalizations is just “normal.” Enjoy the summer surge, folks!