About 700 Marines being mobilized in response to LA protests

Acidly: In a bid to flex his muscles, Trump sent over 700 Marines to LA, reinforcing the National Guard like it's some twisted game of military Monopoly. Who needs consent from California's governor or the mayor when you can grab power by the throat? While the specifics of the Marines' duties are as clear as mud, expect lots of "crowd control." Newsom calls it “unwarranted”—but what does he know? After all, nothing screams democracy quite like deploying Marines against your own citizens. Bravo, democracy!

Gaza activists' aid boat with Greta Thunberg on board docks in Israel - live updates

Acidly: Ah, the Madleen's grand adventure! A band of activists, including climate poster girl Greta Thunberg, set sail to break Israel's blockade and deliver a "symbolic" cargo of aid—because, you know, a few bags of rice are going to solve everything. Spoiler alert: They were intercepted faster than you can say "Instagram activism." Israel called it a "media provocation.” Meanwhile, the "successful" humanitarian mission ends with deportations and empty Instagram feeds. Bravo, indeed!

Italian citizenship referendum void after low turnout

Acidly: In a shocking display of apathy, only 30% of Italians bothered to vote on a referendum aimed at easing citizenship rules and boosting workers' rights. Unsurprisingly, hard-right PM Giorgia Meloni preferred to dismiss it while boasting about Italy's "excellent" citizenship laws—because who needs reform, right? The 10-year wait still stands, much to the delight of Meloni's supporters, who basked in the glory of a low turnout. Citizens clamored for action; the government snorted. A real democracy, folks!

The Good Ol'Ads

Roman Anthony joining Red Sox on Monday; No. 1 prospect gets call to majors

Acidly: In a stunning twist of fate, the Red Sox dragged their top prospect, Roman Anthony, from the cozy confines of Triple-A after Wilyer Abreu strained his oblique. Anthony, 21, the jewel in their prospect crown, confirmed his promotion while abandoning the WooSox like a bad relationship. Manager Cora, master of the obvious, declared it’s “not the way you want” but hey, injuries happen! So let’s thrust the kid into the chaos of Fenway. Cheers to winning ballgames… and let’s hope Abreu heals fast.

Sly Stone, Maestro of a Multifaceted, Hitmaking Band, Dies at 82

Acidly: Sly Stone, the audacious architect of funk and rock, finally clocked out at 82 after a valiant struggle with lung disease and other fabulously glamorous issues. Once the epitome of multiracial, mixed-gender musical chaos, he spent the last decades as a self-made recluse, opting for RV life over stability and legal battles over sanity. With iconic hits and unpredictable stage antics, he left behind undeniable footprints in music history. A legend until the end, he still preferred solitude over the industry’s circus.

We’ve Found Sauropod Stomach Contents For The First Time, Revealing They Had Terrible Manners

Acidly: In a shocking twist, paleontologists actually found a sauropod's stomach contents—rock hard evidence that dinosaurs didn’t bother chewing. This ancient vegetarian was just swallowing plants whole like a selective glutton, leaving behind a fossilized cololite packed with tree bits. Apparently, they've been heating up their guts like elephants, but instead of cool trunks, they had long necks. Great, now we know they were eco-terrorists from birth, munching down everything from saplings to the neighborhood park. Who knew?

The Good Ol'Ads

Channing Dungey To Remain With Studios & Streaming Post-WBD Split

Acidly: Channing Dungey, Warner Bros' TV czarina, finds herself doing a balancing act between two warring factions: Streaming & Studios and the ever-so-vibrant Global Networks. After the WBD split, she promptly assures everyone she’s still the boss. Talk about a morale booster! Meanwhile, her right-hand man, Brett Paul, is as confused about his future as the rest of us are about HBO Max's original content. At least the separation is “less complicated” than Comcast's, which is like saying a root canal is better than an amputation. Cheers to corporate confusion!

Apple announced new ‘Liquid Glass’ software design and AI updates at WWDC

Acidly: Apple’s big WWDC reveal? More like “Here’s What Others Did First.” The tech titan proudly rolled out updates like call translations and spam SMS filters—snore, Android did that years ago. Meanwhile, they clamber to keep up in the AI race, announcing “Liquid Glass” design. Wow, transparency! Apple Maps will remember where you’ve been—super helpful if you have dementia! Siri’s upgrade? Still MIA. But hey, they’re opening AI to third-party apps. At this rate, they’re just the me-too brand in an AI world moving light years ahead.

U.S. FDA Approves Merck’s ENFLONSIA™ (clesrovimab-cfor) for Prevention of Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) Lower Respiratory Tract Disease in Infants Born During or Entering Their First RSV Season

Acidly: Merck's got a shiny new plaything: ENFLONSIA, a monoclonal antibody meant to shield newborns from RSV, aka the reason parents get gray hair fast. Approved by the FDA, this miracle potion promises to save infants from those delightful hospital stays we all love to dread. For just one dose, parents can breathe a little easier—unless, of course, their child has a history of hypersensitivity. Enjoy that wild rollercoaster of anticipation, folks!