Judge rules Trump administration cannot continue to detain Palestinian activist Mahmoud Khalil
Acidly: In a delightful twist of fate, a New Jersey judge has paused the Trump admin's grand deportation plan for Columbia's pro-Palestinian activist, Mahmoud Khalil. Judge Farbiarz’s ruling gives Trump 40 hours to appeal while Khalil needs only a $1 bond to walk free. Held since March for allegedly threatening US foreign policy with his existence, Khalil argues his deportation could lead to a horror show in Syria or Algeria. Meanwhile, his wife hopes to have him home for Father's Day. Good luck to that!
U.S. to Evacuate Diplomats From Iraq Amid Iran Tensions
Acidly: In a thrilling new twist in the Middle East drama, the U.S. is yanking diplomats from Iraq, while families of military personnel are racing for the exits. President Trump’s confidence in striking a nuclear deal with Iran is plummeting faster than his poll numbers. Amid all this, Britain warns of imminent threats to shipping—talk about a riveting maritime horror show! Meanwhile, Iran’s defense minister promises that U.S. losses would be monumental if things go south. Buckle up, folks! This could get messy.
Italian citizenship referendum void after low turnout
Acidly: In a stunningly apocalyptic turnout of around 30%, Italy’s referendum to ease citizenship rules has officially been declared a thorough disappointment. Idealists hoping for change in the 10-year wait for citizenship were greeted instead by apathy, all while PM Giorgia Meloni had a delightful time ignoring the whole thing. With underwhelming votes in regions like Sicily and Calabria, clearly, citizens were far too busy enjoying their pizza to care. So, cheers to Meloni, whose government gets yet another undeserved gift wrapped in low engagement!
The Good Ol'Ads
2025 NBA Finals: Four things to watch in Game 3 between Thunder, Pacers
Acidly: Ah, the Indiana Pacers, masters of digging themselves a hole—literally. After coming off a commanding Game 2 loss to the Thunder (who put them in their place with a 19-2 run), Pacers fans are now clutching their pearls ahead of Game 3. Tyrese Haliburton needs to zip it with the film reviews and actually show up. But, spoiler alert: even with Haliburton's “no limp” self, their defense is still Swiss cheese. Coach Carlisle better cling to his starters unless he wants a one-way ticket to another humiliating defeat. Good luck, Pacers!
Brian Wilson, Songwriter and Leader of the Beach Boys, Dies at 82
Acidly: Brian Wilson, the tortured genius behind the Beach Boys, expired at 82, leaving behind a legacy of melancholic harmonies wrapped in surf wax. His dreams of “Pet Sounds” met the harsh reality of mental illness and drug struggles—who knew genius came with a side of dysfunction? After a conservatorship and a disastrous “Smile” project, his life was a rollercoaster of creativity and chaos. So, here’s to the man who shaped pop music while battling demons, proving that sunshine can cast long shadows. Cheers!
New species of dinosaur discovered that 'rewrites' T.rex family tree
Acidly: Oh look, scientists “rewrite” dino history with a new species, Khankhuuluu mongoliensis. Found in a dusty Mongolian museum, these 86-million-year-old skeletons were apparently the tiny royal predecessors of monstrous T-rexes. Researchers are all hyped about "evolutionary shifts" while the rest of us are just glad we didn't live in a time where a "Dragon Prince" could eat us. Apparently, before tyrannosaurs ruled the world, they were just awkward, scurrying underlings. How cute.
The Good Ol'Ads
Stock market today: Dow, S&P 500, Nasdaq wobble as cool inflation data boosts Fed rate cut hopes
Acidly: US stocks hit “pause” on their whirlwind romance as traders chewed on a tepid inflation report and a lukewarm US-China trade truce. The Dow barely budged a point, and tech stocks took a nosedive, proving once again that “optimism” has its limits, especially when Trump's Twitter-like updates now barely tickle the ticker. Meanwhile, oil prices skyrocketed 4% because nothing screams stability like a partial evacuation of an embassy. And Treasury Secretary Bessent dreams of keeping his seat while the economy continues to wobble on a pin.
Apple reveals new iOS 26 features and its Liquid Glass redesign at WWDC 2025
Acidly: Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference 2025 proved that naming things after years isn’t the only change—now iOS becomes iOS 26. Groundbreaking! Expect a glitzy redesign inspired by "Liquid Glass," because who doesn’t love translucence? App icons got facelifts, and spiffy new "features" borrowed from Android have finally arrived. There's even a "Games" app—just in time for the people who play Candy Crush on the toilet. But hey, at least live translations might finally save your karaoke night from embarrassment. Cheers to progress!
Appendix cancer cases on the rise in youngsters: 5 early signs that go unnoticed
Acidly: Appendix cancer: the rare gem that went from nonexistent to trendy in the Gen X and millennial crowd. With cases up threefold for Gen X and a staggering fourfold for millennials, clearly, everyone’s just itching for a unique health crisis. Who knew vague abdominal pains, constipation, and mysterious bloating would become the new fashion statement? You might mistake it for stress or a bad taco, but hey, at least you're still not one of those basic colorectal cancer cases. Embrace the chaos!