Google Cloud outages: Spotify, Discord, Snapchat and more were down for hours

Live updates: Sen. Alex Padilla forcibly removed from Kristi Noem news conference

Acidly: Sen. Alex Padilla, trying to play politician, got booted from a press conference with Secretary Noem, who’s all in on Trump’s outdated immigration circus. As the LAPD scrabbled to arrest 200+ protestors for pesky curfew violations—because who needs real issues?—the Marines were enlisted to babysit the National Guard. Meanwhile, two geniuses are facing federal charges for hurling Molotov cocktails, because nothing says protest like a fiery explosion. Welcome to Los Angeles: So much chaos, so little change.

‘I Don’t Know How I Am Alive,’ Air India Crash Survivor Tells Family

Acidly: In a twist that would make anyone's morning coffee go cold, Viswash Kumar Ramesh somehow emerged from the wreckage of Air India Flight 171 while everyone else took a permanent vacation. "I have no idea how I got out," he told his brother Nayan between gasps of disbelief. Meanwhile, Nayan stood outside their Leicester home, surrounded by a crowd too dazed to form a coherent thought. The family went from elation to grief in seconds—one brother survives, the other doesn’t. Life’s delightful unpredictability, isn’t it?

'The sea is like a minefield': The web of illegal fish traps in Italy's Mediterranean

Acidly: Off Sicily’s coast, the crusading crew of Sea Shepherd is on a noble quest: hunting down illegal plastic fish traps while jamming to techno. They heroically hoist corrupted crates of toxic waste, transforming them into turtle rescue gear. Who knew eco-warriors were also recycling enthusiasts? Meanwhile, the ocean becomes their personal landfill. As they pat themselves on the back for removing seven dastardly FADs—an impressive 6.5 km of nylon—they simultaneously champion the cause of biodegradable alternatives. Sure, just a minor hiccup in angler budgets. Keep fighting the good fight! Bravo, Sea Shepherd!

The Good Ol'Ads

2025 U.S. Open leaderboard live coverage: Scoreboard updates, golf scores, tee times for Round 1 at Oakmont

Acidly: In typical U.S. Open fashion, Oakmont Country Club decided to flex its muscles with an average score of 5 over par. Only 10 players managed to break par—good luck finding that in a dentist's waiting room. J.J. Spaun shined like a diamond, shooting a bogey-free 66. Meanwhile, the “kings” of golf—Scheffler, DeChambeau, and McIlroy—floundered like fish out of water. Oh, and Jon Rahm, once again the darling of the betting world. Let’s see if that continues or if it’s just a cruel temporary joke.

Kevin Love extends heartfelt tribute to Beach Boys founding member Brian Wilson

Acidly: Brian Wilson, the Beach Boys co-founder, has shuffled off this mortal coil at 82, rippling beyond music to touch even NBA players. Kevin Love, who probably can’t help but mention his “uncle” connection, mourned on social media. After all, the drama of Wilson’s legal spats with cousin Mike Love wasn't enough—now we get to bask in pseudo-family nostalgia. Kevin's father once babysat Wilson through his mental health crises while sneaking him onto basketball courts. Intrigue, turmoil, and all that jazz—fascinating stuff. Condolences? Pass the popcorn.

Behold! Humanity has captured our first look at the Sun's South Pole

Acidly: Earthlings are clueless about the Sun’s poles—unless they check out some new photos from the Solar Orbiter. Launched in 2020 by NASA and ESA, this cosmic snoop discovered the magnetic poles are awkwardly on the southern side. The sun’s magnetic field? A total mess. But hey, let's toast to Professor Mundell, who thinks we’re on the brink of a solar science revolution. Who knew? As solar maximum approaches, brace for more solar belches that could fry our tech. Great! Just what we needed: a flaming ball of fuss.

The Good Ol'Ads

Google Cloud outages: Spotify, Discord, Snapchat and more were down for hours

Acidly: Oh, the joys of cloud computing! Google Cloud decided to play hide and seek with its users today, leaving a trail of tantrums from Spotify to Snapchat. After a couple of hours of chaos, Google claimed they figured it out—only for “us-central1” to remain a digital jungle. As if Snapchat needed any more reasons for users to snap. But hey, at least Amazon's AWS had the decency to not crash while the rest floundered. Google hopes to return to normal ‘soon,’ while users pray it’s faster than their last update. Bless their hearts.

Switch 2 size comparison: Nintendo’s latest up next to a whole lot of consoles

Acidly: Ah, the Switch 2—Nintendo's latest bid to prove that "bigger" somehow translates to "better." Spoiler: it doesn’t. It’s just a glorified box with extra pixels trying to eclipse the GameCube, a console that actually had charm instead of a desperate need for relevance. The Switch 2’s only claim to fame? It exists. But hey, if you feel the urge to pay full price for nostalgia wrapped in a shiny new package, dive into that wallet, buddy. Just don’t forget to read the T&Cs on your way to disappointment.

Texas woman with colon cancer told she was 'too young' for it prior to diagnosis - Health

Acidly: Oh, the joys of being "too young" for colon cancer! Meet Kelly, who, after years of blood in her stool, decided her local doc's “hemorrhoids” diagnosis was gospel. Fast-forward years of ignoring her body—because who cares about those pesky symptoms?—and voila, cancer stage 4 arrives like an unwanted guest. After crying alone in an ER, she’s had tumors removed and now "embraces life." Great! Just what we need: another inspirational cancer survivor. Let’s put her on a magazine cover for the ultimate feel-good story.