Brad Lander, NYC Mayoral Candidate, Arrested by ICE Agents at Immigration Courthouse
Acidly: In a scene that could be straight out of a soap opera, wannabe mayor Brad Lander got himself arrested by ICE while trying to save a migrant in an immigration courthouse. Apparently, he thought he was above the law, demanding to see a judicial warrant like a toddler demanding a cookie. Newsflash, Brad: they don't need one. After a mini-scuffle and a not-so-dramatic arrest, he was released, walking away with a “Seriously?” as if playing the victim is a solid campaign strategy. If this is politics now, just hand out popcorn.
Israel-Iran live updates: Trump says 'we now have complete and total control of the skies over Iran'
Acidly: Iran's internet went dark today, all thanks to the government’s idea of fighting foreign cyberattacks. Who needs social media when you can cut off communication like it’s 2019? Meanwhile, missiles from Iran are now a standard feature in Israeli bus terminals. You'd think the folks in charge would be trying something a bit more productive than launching missiles like confetti. For those fleeing Tehran's explosions, good luck finding a gas station amidst the chaos. Welcome to the neighborhood, folks!
Anti-Tourism Protests in Italy, Portugal and Spain Draw Attention to Quality of Life Issues
Acidly: In Barcelona, protestors armed with squirt guns took aim at tourists in a colorful demonstration against the scourge of mass tourism. Signs screamed "Tourists go home!" as chaos erupted outside luxury boutiques, leaving employees bewildered and fireworks lighting the scene. Meanwhile, other cities joined the comedy: Genoa's suitcase parade and Majorca's flares made it clear—locals are fed up. Amid soaring housing costs and environmental destruction, these sobering protests just expose the absurdity of catering to tourists while locals drown.
The Good Ol'Ads
Panthers hope experience from last year's Final helps them close out Oilers in Game 6
Acidly: Ah, the Florida Panthers—skating on thin ice with their oh-so-comfortable playoff history. They’ve got a chance to close out the Edmonton Oilers yet again, after blowing previous opportunities like a kid at a cake sale. Captain Barkov thinks experience matters; sorry, but “just be yourself” sounds like advice from a scared therapy dog. Last season they fumbled every chance with grace, but tonight, who knows? Maybe they’ll finally show up. If not, they can always add “choke artists” to their resume. Good luck with that!
Anne Burrell, Chef and Food Network Star, Dies at 55
Acidly: Anne Burrell, the larger-than-life chef with a “kinetic swoop” of hair, has shuffled off this mortal coil at 55. Known for her over-the-top enthusiasm and not-so-subtle swagger, she somehow managed to outshine Mario Batali, despite his own dubious past. While her restaurants flopped faster than a pancake, her cookbooks soared—pepper be damned! She survived “dark moments” (aren't we all?), yet her need for culinary perfection could rival her competitiveness. So, rest in peace, bright spark—Brooklyn will be a little less “funky.”
A long-standing puzzle of ‘missing’ ordinary matter in the universe may be solved, astronomers say
Acidly: In a cosmic twist, astronomers are finally shedding light on the missing matter in the universe—thanks to short-lived flashes of radio waves, or fast radio bursts (FRBs). It seems most of our universe's ordinary matter has been playing hide-and-seek in the voids between galaxies, while we were busy assuming it was just bad at showing up. By measuring how these bursts slow down en route, scientists can pinpoint this elusive "fog." Turns out, 76% of cosmic stuff is just lounging around, waiting for someone to notice. Bravo, science!
The Good Ol'Ads
Dow closes nearly 300 points lower Tuesday as Israel-Iran conflict intensifies: Live updates
Acidly: On Tuesday, the stock market decided to take a dive, which is always fun when you’re trying to pretend the economy isn’t a dumpster fire. The Dow dropped almost 300 points while the S&P and Nasdaq followed suit, all thanks to—surprise!—the never-ending Israel-Iran conflict. Meanwhile, Trump took a break from reality to post threats on social media, effectively reminding everyone that he's still very much here, ruining the mood. As if retail sales nosediving by 0.9% wasn’t enough, oil prices decided to pop, because, you know, war is good for business. Cheers!
Adobe’s Firefly comes to iOS and Android
Acidly: Adobe's on a relentless hunt to monopolize your creative brain with its Firefly AI app, now available for iOS and Android. Need countless videos or images? Just hurl some prompts into the void and voilà ! You can mess with images like a toddler with crayons. Meanwhile, 24 billion media assets later, Adobe has lured a fresh batch of subscribers—because who wouldn’t want to pay to watch AI churn out art? Don't forget, it’s good ol' Adobe—your creative shackles have never looked so shiny!
Cannabis use linked to a doubled risk of heart disease death, new study finds
Acidly: Well, who would’ve thought? Smoke a little weed, and your heart might just keel over. New research reveals that cannabis users face a doubled risk of dying from heart disease, along with shocking stats on strokes and acute coronary syndromes. But, fear not! As states rush to legalize it, young folks prefer pot over booze, clearly unaware of the ticking time bomb in their chests. Experts wisely suggest treating weed like tobacco—because why not let history repeat itself? Enjoy those puffs, kids!