Brad Lander, NYC Mayoral Candidate, Arrested by ICE Agents at Immigration Courthouse
Acidly: In a scene that could be straight out of a soap opera, wannabe mayor Brad Lander got himself arrested by ICE while trying to save a migrant in an immigration courthouse. Apparently, he thought he was above the law, demanding to see a judicial warrant like a toddler demanding a cookie. Newsflash, Brad: they don't need one. After a mini-scuffle and a not-so-dramatic arrest, he was released, walking away with a âSeriously?â as if playing the victim is a solid campaign strategy. If this is politics now, just hand out popcorn.
Israel-Iran live updates: Trump says 'we now have complete and total control of the skies over Iran'
Acidly: Iran's internet went dark today, all thanks to the governmentâs idea of fighting foreign cyberattacks. Who needs social media when you can cut off communication like itâs 2019? Meanwhile, missiles from Iran are now a standard feature in Israeli bus terminals. You'd think the folks in charge would be trying something a bit more productive than launching missiles like confetti. For those fleeing Tehran's explosions, good luck finding a gas station amidst the chaos. Welcome to the neighborhood, folks!
Anti-Tourism Protests in Italy, Portugal and Spain Draw Attention to Quality of Life Issues
Acidly: In Barcelona, protestors armed with squirt guns took aim at tourists in a colorful demonstration against the scourge of mass tourism. Signs screamed "Tourists go home!" as chaos erupted outside luxury boutiques, leaving employees bewildered and fireworks lighting the scene. Meanwhile, other cities joined the comedy: Genoa's suitcase parade and Majorca's flares made it clearâlocals are fed up. Amid soaring housing costs and environmental destruction, these sobering protests just expose the absurdity of catering to tourists while locals drown.
The Good Ol'Ads
Panthers hope experience from last year's Final helps them close out Oilers in Game 6
Acidly: Ah, the Florida Panthersâskating on thin ice with their oh-so-comfortable playoff history. Theyâve got a chance to close out the Edmonton Oilers yet again, after blowing previous opportunities like a kid at a cake sale. Captain Barkov thinks experience matters; sorry, but âjust be yourselfâ sounds like advice from a scared therapy dog. Last season they fumbled every chance with grace, but tonight, who knows? Maybe theyâll finally show up. If not, they can always add âchoke artistsâ to their resume. Good luck with that!
Anne Burrell, Chef and Food Network Star, Dies at 55
Acidly: Anne Burrell, the larger-than-life chef with a âkinetic swoopâ of hair, has shuffled off this mortal coil at 55. Known for her over-the-top enthusiasm and not-so-subtle swagger, she somehow managed to outshine Mario Batali, despite his own dubious past. While her restaurants flopped faster than a pancake, her cookbooks soaredâpepper be damned! She survived âdark momentsâ (aren't we all?), yet her need for culinary perfection could rival her competitiveness. So, rest in peace, bright sparkâBrooklyn will be a little less âfunky.â
A long-standing puzzle of âĂĂČmissingâĂĂŽ ordinary matter in the universe may be solved, astronomers say
Acidly: In a cosmic twist, astronomers are finally shedding light on the missing matter in the universeâthanks to short-lived flashes of radio waves, or fast radio bursts (FRBs). It seems most of our universe's ordinary matter has been playing hide-and-seek in the voids between galaxies, while we were busy assuming it was just bad at showing up. By measuring how these bursts slow down en route, scientists can pinpoint this elusive "fog." Turns out, 76% of cosmic stuff is just lounging around, waiting for someone to notice. Bravo, science!
The Good Ol'Ads
Dow closes nearly 300 points lower Tuesday as Israel-Iran conflict intensifies: Live updates
Acidly: On Tuesday, the stock market decided to take a dive, which is always fun when youâre trying to pretend the economy isnât a dumpster fire. The Dow dropped almost 300 points while the S&P and Nasdaq followed suit, all thanks toâsurprise!âthe never-ending Israel-Iran conflict. Meanwhile, Trump took a break from reality to post threats on social media, effectively reminding everyone that he's still very much here, ruining the mood. As if retail sales nosediving by 0.9% wasnât enough, oil prices decided to pop, because, you know, war is good for business. Cheers!
Adobeâs Firefly comes to iOS and Android
Acidly: Adobe's on a relentless hunt to monopolize your creative brain with its Firefly AI app, now available for iOS and Android. Need countless videos or images? Just hurl some prompts into the void and voilĂ ! You can mess with images like a toddler with crayons. Meanwhile, 24 billion media assets later, Adobe has lured a fresh batch of subscribersâbecause who wouldnât want to pay to watch AI churn out art? Don't forget, itâs good ol' Adobeâyour creative shackles have never looked so shiny!
Cannabis use linked to a doubled risk of heart disease death, new study finds
Acidly: Well, who wouldâve thought? Smoke a little weed, and your heart might just keel over. New research reveals that cannabis users face a doubled risk of dying from heart disease, along with shocking stats on strokes and acute coronary syndromes. But, fear not! As states rush to legalize it, young folks prefer pot over booze, clearly unaware of the ticking time bomb in their chests. Experts wisely suggest treating weed like tobaccoâbecause why not let history repeat itself? Enjoy those puffs, kids!