Trump takes his go-it-alone approach to NATO summit after announcing Israel-Iran ceasefire
Acidly: Trump, arriving at the NATO summit, prided himself on a ceasefire he claimed to broker between Israel and Iran. Just hours in, Israel ignored the agreement and launched a barrage of bombs. Surprise! Trump vented about these two bickering nations not knowing what they’re up to, yet tweeted from Air Force One that all was well—'Plane Wave' included. European leaders gingerly praised him, hoping his fragile peacemaking might distract from his ongoing disinterest in EU matters. Thanks, diplomacy! Or not.
An Iran Cease-Fire, and Why N.Y.C.’s Mayoral Race Matters for Democrats Everywhere
Acidly: In a dramatic showdown for New York's mayor, Andrew Cuomo, the disgraced former governor with a sexual harassment past, emerges as a frontrunner against the ambitious social media whiz, Zoran Mamdani. While Cuomo paints himself as the party's savior—despite his chaotic history—Mamdani pushes for the left's revival with radical ideas like freezing rent and creating affordable grocery stores. Amidst accusations and political mudslinging, voters are left wondering how a city so reliant on experience can even consider a rookie to lead.
Italian defense minister says NATO ‘as it is’ has no reason to exist
Acidly: Italian Defense Minister Guido Crosetto dropped a bombshell, declaring NATO “no longer has a reason to exist.” At a conference in Padua, he lamented Europe’s dwindling relevance, claiming the world’s moved on while it’s still stuck in the ’90s. With NATO leaders set for a summit, Crosetto called for a revamped alliance that engages the Global South—his version of NATO 2.0. Meanwhile, Italy, a habitual low spender, plays the game just to keep up. At this point, it’s clear: the U.N. is as influential as a soggy pasta.
The Good Ol'Ads
Celtics reportedly finalizing deal to send Kristaps Porzingis to Hawks in 3-team trade involving Nets
Acidly: The Boston Celtics are expertly dismantling their roster like it's a jigsaw puzzle missing half the pieces. Trading Kristaps Porzingis to the Atlanta Hawks? Genius! Who needs a potential star when you can save a few bucks and piece together a squad that barely survived last season? Meanwhile, the Hawks sit pretty, getting a guy who's like fine china—gorgeous but mostly stays in the cupboard. But hey, with Porzingis' injury record, they can’t complain too much about the 'overhaul' in an Eastern Conference that's about as competitive as a children’s soccer game.
Sean Combs’ defense team doesn’t call any witnesses, rests in under 30 minutes
Acidly: In a trial where Sean Combs' defense rested in a record-breaking 30 minutes, the mogul mostly sat silently, possibly crafting his next hit single about *being judged*. Facing serious charges, Combs achieved a zen-like state of nodding at jurors while they were cross-examined. His lawyers argue that abuse was just a sign of "*unconventional*" relationships. After all, nothing screams romance like baby oil and jealousy. As they close, the jury will decide if this case is about love or a sordid playlist gone wrong. Stay tuned!
Vera C. Rubin Observatory unveils 1st images of universe: Take a look
Acidly: In a world drowning in images, we present "9 PHOTOS"—a riveting collection destined to sit untouched in a forgotten gallery while Instagram influencers thrive on filters. These nine snapshots capture the essence of mediocrity, proving once again that anyone with a smartphone can call themselves an artist. Each photo screams, “Look at me, I exist!” as if that’s worth something. Spoiler alert: it isn't. So, scroll past or gaze into the abyss of creativity gone awry. Your choice.
The Good Ol'Ads
Stocks Rise and Oil Falls as Israel-Iran Cease-Fire Begins
Acidly: Ah, the stock market, the only reality show where money grows and worries evaporate. With a cease-fire between Israel and Iran, investors are high-fiving, convinced that the universe just decided to be nice for a change. The S&P 500 is flirting with record highs—who knew peace was so profitable? Oil prices dropped more than your hopes in a bad economy, as investors breathe a sigh of relief. Inflation fears? Pfft, who needs ‘em when you've got Jerome Powell soothing everyone’s nerves. Cheers to financial drama!
Apple’s thirsty F1 movie notification is going over as well as you’d expect it to be
Acidly: Apple, in its quest for relevance, splurged on an F1 movie starring Brad Pitt, inevitably dragging us into its promotional abyss. This time, the company decided to bombard users with an Apple Wallet notification, luring them with a discount code for tickets like it’s a yard sale. It’s reminiscent of their U2 disaster—irritating, unwanted, and hilariously tone-deaf. Clearly, 2025 is not Apple’s year for subtlety. Who doesn’t love a push notification as an unwelcome reminder of overpriced cinema with Brad Pitt?
Millions of children at risk as vaccination uptake stalls
Acidly: Oh, fantastic news, folks! After four decades of progress in childhood vaccinations, we’ve hit a glorious wall. Thanks to COVID and a rise in vaccine conspiracy enthusiasts, millions of kids are now prime targets for diseases we thought were history. The wealth gap just keeps widening while affluent nations see their own rates drop. Don't worry, though; researchers are laying it on thick, begging for more funding and common sense. The perfect storm is brewing—who doesn't love a good outbreak, right?