What the Senate Republican tax-and-spending bill means for your money
Acidly: Senate Republicans, eager to repackage Trump’s multitrillion-dollar budget, have outdone themselves—forever preserving wealthy tax cuts while masterminding social service cuts. Medicaid? Slashed. SNAP money? Gone. But hey, wealthy tip earners can rejoice with a $25,000 deduction on their cash tips! Who cares about those pesky low-income families; they don’t even get to claim the full child tax credit. Welcome to 2025, where the upper middle-class glows while the needy face even darker times. Isn't progress delightful?
Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra Suspended Amid Cambodia Dispute
Acidly: In a shocking twist for Thailand’s ongoing political circus, Prime Minister Paetongtarn Shinawatra has been suspended by the Constitutional Court, throwing the country into chaos once more. Apparently, aligning with Cambodian leader Hun Sen and belittling the Thai military isn’t the best recipe for political longevity. Despite her desperate apologies and proclamations of good intentions, thousands took to Bangkok's streets. With her approval rating splattering at a pitiful 9.2%, the only thing left to arrange now is her exit strategy. Bravo!
The Eiffel Tower is closed to tourists due to searing heat. Here’s why it’s happening
Acidly: Oh joy, Europe’s melting! Thanks to a delightful combo of a marine heat wave and an Africa-born heat dome, temperatures are soaring. Spain just hit a blistering 46°C—what a perfect backdrop for outdoor barbecues! Can’t wait for the “toasty” beach parties in the UK where air conditioning is a luxury few can afford. Meanwhile, wildfires rage and people are evacuated like it’s a party. Keep it up, world! What’s next, an all-expenses-paid trip to our fiery doom? Bon voyage!
The Good Ol'Ads
2025 NBA Free Agency Live Tracker: Updates, news, rumors, top players, signings, trades
Acidly: Day 1 of NBA free agency was a chaotic circus, with 32 players scrambling to secure their cash. Among the oddities, Jaren Jackson Jr. inked a $240 million deal just in time for foot surgery—because who needs their star player healthy anyway? The Bucks boldly waved goodbye to Damian Lillard while snatching Myles Turner, all to keep Giannis from pouting. Meanwhile, the Knicks still can't decide whether to fire Thibs for Mike Brown. Ah yes, the drama of rich men throwing money at wildly expensive toys. What a spectacle!
Sean 'Diddy' Combs trial updates: Judge tells jury to keep deliberating after partial verdict
Acidly: In a riveting demonstration of how utterly riveting legal proceedings can be, the jury decided to take the night off. A note flew in—apparently deliberating is exhausting work. Judge Subramanian, channeling a motivational speaker, urged them to keep their minds open. Meanwhile, Sean Combs, aka Puff Daddy, perfected the art of emotional unresponsiveness while his legal team engaged in a touching group hug. As the courthouse ambience oozes anticipation, the verdict remains as elusive as a good plot in daytime TV. Tune in tomorrow for more courtroom theater!
EUMETSAT, ESA launches combo MTG-S1, Sentinel-4 satellite on SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center
Acidly: A European satellite, the Meteosat Third Generation Sounder (MTG-S1), recently blasted off into the void, thanks to a Falcon 9 rocket. While Europe rejoices in its next-gen weather forecasting, it seems like a parade for a glorified toaster in orbit. The satellite will take a leisurely 17 days to settle into its lounge 36,000 km up, feasting on data like it's at an all-you-can-eat buffet. The ambitious science wizards expect it to finally deliver usable data in about a year—fingers crossed the technology holds up.
The Good Ol'Ads
In a lawsuit, Lululemon accuses Costco of selling knockoffs of the athleisure brand
Acidly: Lululemon, the high-priced stretch pant peddler, is throwing a tantrum at Costco, claiming the wholesale giant is ripping off their pricey yoga gear and selling it at actual prices. Apparently, the hashtag "LululemonDupes" on social media was the last straw for the brand that once sold leggings for the price of a small car. They'd like you to believe they care about "innovation" while battling Costco's bargain-loving devotees. Spoiler: Design patents don't have feelings, and neither do your wallets.
Nothing’s ‘first true flagship’ phone plays it a little safe
Acidly: In a luxurious move, Nothing’s Phone 3 is here to “compete” with giants like iPhone 16—all for a paltry $799. Proudly spinning the gimmick of Spin the Bottle on its back, the phone flaunts features that even a toddler could design. With a Snapdragon chip that’s about as cutting-edge as last year’s meme and enough cameras to confuse anyone, it’s a true flagship, or so says CEO Carl Pei. Who needs innovation when you can just play games on your phone’s back? Truly revolutionary.
Can cheese turn your dreams into nightmares?
Acidly: In a groundbreaking revelation, new research suggests that your midnight cheese binge might be sabotaging your sleep. Apparently, lactose intolerance wreaks havoc not just on your gut but also on your dreams, morphing them into nightmarish sitcoms. One professor reported that cheese had long been the scapegoat for bad dreams—who knew dairy could double as a sleep vandal? So, if you're tossing and turning, maybe skip the nachos before bed and let your dreams be as bland as your midnight snacks. Cheers to that!