Trump Administration Live Updates: House Passes Sweeping Bill to Fulfill President’s Domestic Agenda

Acidly: In a breathtaking display of political acrobatics, congressional Republicans united behind a $4.5 trillion monster of a bill that cuts taxes for the rich while gutting Medicaid and food assistance for the needy. Trump hailed it as his “big, beautiful bill,” seemingly indifferent to the chaos it sowed. As vulnerable lawmakers swallowed their pride and loyalty, Democrats decried the measure, calling it an “extraordinary assault” on American health care. Meanwhile, the GOP danced to Trump’s tune, proving again that loyalty trumps logic.

Trump Says Call with Putin Yields No Progress on Ukraine Cease-Fire

Acidly: Trump and Putin dialed in for yet another chat, and shocker—no progress on Ukraine. The man who claimed to be a dealmaker is just a phone call away from another failed negotiation. Trump seems "not happy" with the war dragging on while Putin sticks to his guns, like a bad movie villain citing "root causes" for territorial demands. Meanwhile, Trump’s withholding of weapons from Ukraine is a real page-turner. Who needs allies when you can chat with the guy causing the chaos? Bravo, gentlemen!

'Silent killer' heatwave thought to have left at least 9 dead in Europe

Acidly: Forget your sunscreen; Europe has turned into a fiery oven, claiming at least nine lives while the heatwave plays its cruel game. In Italy, officials issued red alerts for cities enriched with roasted tourists. A man was even flattened while pouring concrete—because who needs hydration, right? Spain and France are also cooking up their own back-to-back death tolls. But hey, climate change is just giving these heatwaves a boost! Grab your ice-cold drink, if you can find one. It’s all just the “silent killer” at work.

The Good Ol'Ads

Mexico Confirms Arrest Warrant for Boxer Julio César Chávez Jr.

Acidly: In a plot twist only a scriptwriter could dream up, boxer Julio César Chávez Jr. finds himself wrestling with more than just fists—charges of organized crime and arms trafficking. Detained in California, this former champ and son of a legend is accused of rolling with the infamous Sinaloa Cartel. After losing to YouTuber Jake Paul, clearly, Chávez decided to level up in life. His lawyer insists he's misunderstood, claiming he's just an innocent man terrorized by headlines. Ah, the thrill of boxing—one punch at a time, straight to jail.

Alternate Juror at the Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs Trial: ‘I Understand’ the Verdict

Acidly: In a trial that rivals bad reality TV, Sean Combs skated on serious charges of sex trafficking, though he got a lesser two-count conviction for transporting people into prostitution. Alternate juror George, who likely scribbled notes for a future memoir, claims he was charmed by defense humor, especially the quip about a "kidnapped" employee who got to clock out every night. Ah, reason amid chaos! Yet George didn’t buy the prosecution’s “forced” narrative. Apparently, assault was just another Tuesday for Combs. Bravo, justice!

Astronomers spot 'interstellar object' speeding through solar system

Acidly: Oh joy, another overpriced hunk of space ice is barreling toward us, not that we’ll realize it. Astronomers can barely praise their latest discovery—dubbed "A11pl3Z" or "3I/ATLAS"—that’s cruising at a blistering 152,000 mph, but, don’t worry, it’s 150 million miles away. NASA insists we’re safe. A cosmic visitor? How quaint. Just the third “interstellar object” ever recorded, because clearly, our universe has too many. Buckle up, folks; December's when it’ll grace us again—mostly invisible, as usual.

The Good Ol'Ads

When Will Medicaid Cuts and Tax Breaks From Trump’s Bill Take Effect?

Acidly: Ah, Republicans, the masters of strategic cruelty! Their shiny new tax package gifts hefty breaks to the wealthy, while the affordable safety net is poised to unravel just in time for the 2026 midterms. Families will rejoice—briefly—over inflated refunds next spring, oblivious to the Medicaid and SNAP cuts looming like a grim reaper. The poor? Well, they'll discover working to live isn't as fun when the benefits dry up. It’s a political dance worthy of a circus, where tragedy is just a punchline. Bravo!

Samsung continues to half-heartedly adopt Qi2 as Galaxy Z Fold 7 and Flip 7 cases leak [Gallery]

Acidly: Samsung’s Galaxy Z Fold 7 and Flip 7 leak showcases cases so uninspired, they could have been designed by a committee of sleep-deprived interns. Thin? Sure. Exciting? Not remotely. With only a single magnetic case for the whole lineup, Samsung’s “investment” in Qi2 feels like a slap on the wrist to anyone hoping for innovation. They’re practically begging you to buy these overpriced hand-holders with empty promises and a “Who cares?” approach to accessories. Pre-order now; it saves you a generous $50 on your eventual disappointment!

The link between cancer and exercise that patients should know

Acidly: Ladies and gentlemen, say goodbye to the couch and welcome the audacious world of exercise! A study reveals that cancer survivors who break a sweat live longer—shocking, I know. Apparently, running from your problems might actually keep the grim reaper at bay, lowering the recurrence of cancer by a staggering 28%. So, instead of lounging with popcorn, let’s start “exercise prescriptions.” Who knew swapping the elevator for stairs could be a life-saver? Because why not turn mundane tasks into life-extending workouts? Just... move.