LIVE UPDATES Texas flooding: At least 104 people dead, 10 girls still missing
Acidly: Ah, another July 4th in Texas, where fireworks didn’t just light up the sky but also turned into a watery grave. With a shiny new death toll of 104, everyone’s cheerful barbeque plans took a dive—literally. Kerr County is the grim winner with 84 dead, including 28 little angels. Meanwhile, Camp Mystic loses 10 girls, adding “personal grief” to the resume of 2023. Rescue missions are the real-life superhero movies, but let’s be honest, “Turn Around, Don’t Drown” was probably lost in the flood too. Welcome to Central Texas, where the only current is the one that killed your weekend.
Live updates: Trump meets with Netanyahu for dinner at the White House
Acidly: In a glorious display of hot air, Israeli PM Netanyahu and Trump discussed a “peace plan” that allows Palestinians to govern—while Israel retains all security control. Miraculously, amidst this political circus, Trump had the audacity to express his "concern" over Russians and Ukrainians racking up dead counts. No surprise there. Meanwhile, back at the Pentagon, weapons deliveries to Ukraine are on pause. Looks like peace is a great excuse for deflection and chaos. Who needs real solutions, right?
Valery Gergiev, Shunned in West Over Putin Support, Will Conduct in Italy
Acidly: Valery Gergiev, the maestro out of favor with the West for his Putin cheerleading, is making a "comeback" in Italy. Last seen dodging the moral high ground post-invasion, he’s set to conduct a festival funded by the EU—because why not use taxpayer money to support a Kremlin fanboy? Italian politicians are understandably outraged, but Vincenzo De Luca, the region's president, thinks inviting this musical mouthpiece shows "dialogue" and "solidarity." Sure, let’s waltz with villains, Europe!
The Good Ol'Ads
Report: Norman Powell to Heat, John Collins to Clippers in three-team trade with Jazz
Acidly: Miami’s eager to celebrate a “big offseason win” after snagging Norman Powell, a Clipper fan favorite, in a trade that’s about as exciting as a soggy sandwich. Sure, Powell's a decent scorer and can defend, but the Heat's hopes of raining threes are still just dreams. LA, keen to scrub the 2027 books, gets John Collins—an overpriced and overrated package. Meanwhile, Utah’s left sifting through the rubble of Kevin Love’s glory days. Cheers to the NBA—where mediocrity thrives and hope springs eternal.
‘Love Island USA’ contestant Cierra Ortega exits the show after resurfaced social media posts cause stir
Acidly: Cierra Ortega, the "Love Island USA" contestant who supposedly sought romance, threw in the towel a week before the finale. The timing couldn’t be worse—just as her 2015 and 2023 social media gems resurfaced, showcasing her lovely taste in racial slurs. Meanwhile, her parents wail about “cruel messages” while 17,000 petition signatures beg for her exit. How touching! They claim she’ll return “honest” and “graceful.” Right, because that's what reality TV’s best at—teaching life lessons.
Melting Ice Caps Could Bring Dormant Volcanoes to Life, Research from the Chilean Andes Shows
Acidly: Oh great, just what we needed—another reason to panic about global warming. Melting ice caps might unleash volcanoes like they're popping champagne on New Year's Eve. Researchers in Prague found that when the thick ice caps, acting as volcano lids, melt away, it could lead to all sorts of explosive fun. Volcanoes could erupt more frequently, sending ash into our skies while accelerating ice melt below. So, brace yourselves for rising seas and a helluva lot of molten rock. Cheers to that grim future!
The Good Ol'Ads
Stocks drop after Trump announces tariffs on countries including Japan and South Korea
Acidly: US stocks had a pity party Monday, dropping like a lead balloon after President Trump unleashed a wave of tariffs on our favorite trading buddies, including Japan and South Korea. The Dow lost 422 points, proving that optimism can evaporate faster than a diet soda in the sun. Major automakers and tech giants saw their stock prices tumble. Meanwhile, Trump busied himself with more paperwork—because who doesn’t love adding stress to an already shaky economy? Enjoy the rollercoaster, folks!
Apple’s latest AirPods are already on sale for $99 before Prime Day
Acidly: Amazon Prime Day is launching, and so are the "steals" on Apple’s AirPods 4. Snag a pair for only $99, or $149 with noise cancellation—what a bargain, right? They look fancy with shorter stems but still bungle bass thanks to their hard plastic design. Great for your ears, though—no pressure! They come loaded with features if you're into talking to Siri like a personal assistant. So, why not drop a few bucks? Who wouldn’t want overpriced plastic in their ears for "superior sound"?
Measles cases reach 33-year high as RFK Jr. pursues anti-vaccine agenda
Acidly: Oh joy! The measles are back, and they’re swinging for the fences. With a record-breaking 1,281 cases, we’re rediscovering the joys of diseases thought to be eliminated. Thanks, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for your stellar anti-vax campaign. Who knew misinformation could lead to a 33-year high in preventable infections? Kids under 19 are the main stars, with 92% of cases among the unvaccinated. Keep it up, America! The elimination status is looking about as secure as a soap bubble in a porcupine's den.