Federal indictment reveals new details about the case against man accused in killing of former Minnesota House speaker
Acidly: A Minnesota man, Vance Boelter, has entered the spotlight for all the wrong reasons: murder and attempted murder of state lawmakers. First up, he allegedly wiped out former House Speaker Melissa Hortman and her husband. Then came the clumsy effort to kill State Sen. John Hoffman and his wife, because apparently, getting shot nine times isn't enough to earn a vacation from politics. Oh, and let’s not forget his wild confession letter claiming military service and a hit list that includes the governor. Pulitzer-worthy chaos, anyone?
Three key questions after Afghan data leak sparked unprecedented secret evacuation
Acidly: In a twist worthy of a bad spy flick, a single British official’s blunder exposed Afghan contacts to the Taliban. Who knew one slip could be so lethal? As thousands now sweat bullets, the UK, in its infinite wisdom, offered them sanctuary—three years later. Bravo! Meanwhile, the government’s answer? Super-injunctions to hide their incompetence, because who needs accountability when lives are at stake? Perhaps they’ll start a training program: “Leaking Secrets 101.” You can't make this up, but hey, they did.
Italy's sunken city returning from the sea
Acidly: As our boat sloshes through the Bay of Cartaromana, I press my hands against the glass bottom, dreaming of sunbathers and ancient ruins like "yes, we get it, this place is old." What a riveting history lesson: local priest and divers play hide-and-seek with artifacts for four decades. Spoiler alert: they find Roman junk beneath the waves, but who cares? Sign up for a tour if you wanna feel superior for being mildly educational. Guess ancient cities have it worse than tourists—at least they don’t have to worry about getting sunburned.
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2025 MLB All-Star Game odds, line, start time, picks, best bets for July 15, matchup from proven expert
Acidly: Ah, the All-Star Game, where mediocrity meets inflated egos. The American League, gloriously dominating like a high school football team against toddlers, has crushed the National League nine times in the last ten tries. Tonight, Paul Skenes will face Tarik Skubal, like two kids who forgot to study. Bet your lunch money on the NL at -132, because who needs logic? And don’t forget to consult Bruce Marshall—a "handicapping expert"—before you throw your cash away. Enjoy the show!
‘Severance’ leads 2025 Emmy nominations
Acidly: The 77th Primetime Emmy nominations dropped like a mediocre sitcom: high on self-importance and low on surprise. Apple TV+ flexed with "Severance" snagging a whopping 27 nominations—because we all know billing a corporate nightmare as art is the new black. HBO Max, desperately seeking relevance, led with 142 nominations, proving that quantity doesn't equal quality. As we prepare for the inevitable cringe-fest hosted by Nate Bargatze, remember: the real winners are the audiences who will watch this theatrical train wreck unfold live.
Giant space 'boulders' unleashed by NASA's DART mission aren't behaving as expected, revealing hidden risks of deflecting asteroids
Acidly: Three years ago, NASA smashed a spaceship into an asteroid, supposedly proving we could dodge catastrophic space rocks. Great, right? Well, hold on. A new study reveals that debris from this collision is on a bizarrely unpredictable rollercoaster ride. Instead of scattering randomly, it's grouped up like it's planning an interstellar rave. So much for saving Earth. We might have to turn to cosmic pool cues to redirect them—if we don't knock a boulder into Mars first. Who knew asteroid defense came with a punchline?
The Good Ol'Ads
Rising Inflation Underscores Risks in Trump’s New Tariff Threats
Acidly: President Trump’s tariffs are turning wallets into empty shells as inflation marches on. With prices climbing for essentials like furniture and clothing, his claims of a thriving economy seem as believable as a unicorn sighting. Economists are grumbling about the “major risks” his policies pose, while the White House spins inflation data like a DJ on crack. Meanwhile, Trump insists consumer prices are “LOW,” because who needs reality when you have Twitter? Keep your wallets close; the trade war is heating up.
Samsung says you should think of Galaxy Z Fold 7 as a 'trade-off' as it reconsiders S Pen support
Acidly: Introducing the Galaxy Z Fold 7 and Flip 7, Samsung's latest attempts to turn smartphones into wallets. While they gleam with cutting-edge design, users can thank Kang Min-seok for prioritizing style over practicality—goodbye S Pen, under-display cameras, and decent batteries. Sure, the new Fold is an impressive 8.9mm thick, but it's also a monument to questionable sacrifices masquerading as innovation. Enjoy that oh-so-slim device, folks; it's just dying to wobble off your table! Pre-order now, but good luck figuring out what you've lost.
More than 14M children globally have not received a dose of any vaccine: WHO
Acidly: More than 14 million kids are unvaccinated—congrats, world! That's 4 million above the WHO’s 2024 target, but who's counting? About 25% of infants live in conflict zones, so let’s blame the war for neglecting basic healthcare. Meanwhile, clueless officials preach the importance of vaccines while the U.S. pulls funding from GAVI, accusing them of “ignoring science.” Hard to say what’s scarier: the diseases or the decision-makers. Let's applaud the 89 million who did get a shot—party time!