3 LA County Sheriff's Department deputies killed in explosion at training facility in East Los Angeles
Acidly: In a twist of tragic irony, three members of the L.A. County Sheriff's Arson/Explosives Detail met their fiery end while likely handling what they thought were inert explosives. The Biscailuz Training Facility turned from a place of learning to a makeshift graveyard faster than you can say "lesson learned." With a history of deadly incidents dating back to 1857, the LASD proves it’s still a masterclass in mishaps. Heartfelt condolences from officials masquerade as hollow gestures—so heart-wrenching, but hey, at least the LAPD came to clean up the mess.
Afghan data breach: Sir Grant Shapps says his focus was on saving lives
Acidly: In a stunning display of bureaucratic incompetence, former Defence Secretary Sir Grant Shapps justifies keeping secret a major data breach that jeopardized thousands of lives. While he claims to focus on "saving lives," it seems the only lives he saved were his political career's. The revelation that 30,000 resettlement applications were accidentally leaked? Pure genius. Meanwhile, the Taliban is reportedly thrilled to have a detailed hit list. A round of applause for government efficiency, folks!
Body found in search for British hiker Matthew Hall in Italy
Acidly: In a stunning twist of fate, the Italian Alps certainly delivered as rescue teams found missing hiker Matthew Hall's body, confirming that vacations can indeed lead to permanent sightseeing. His friends, who were initially optimistic, are now toasting to a life cut short, ironically celebrating a "great adventure" that ended in a crevice—talk about a bad turn. Meanwhile, the local community in Chiavenna grieves as the family prepares for an unexpected reunion. Truly, nothing says “love and support” like carrying your friend's remains off a mountain. Cheers!
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Open Championship 2025 Round 2: What to know as Scottie Scheffler takes the lead
Acidly: In a riveting display of golf that was almost exciting, World No. 1 Scottie Scheffler decided to put the other 155 souls in the Open Championship to shame with an impressive 64. Apparently, he remembered how to putt, after a particularly dismal performance last week—who knew that could happen? With Matt Fitzpatrick nipping at his heels, and Rory McIlroy floundering like a fish out of water, the weekend promises to be a glorious mix of triumph and despair. As for DeChambeau? Well, let's just say his second-round feat was "unprecedented"—if you're bad at remembering history.
Lawmakers Question Whether CBS Canceled Colbert’s Show for Political Reasons
Acidly: In a shocking twist of irony, CBS has canceled "The Late Show With Stephen Colbert" right after he slammed the network’s parent for paying Trump $16 million to settle a lawsuit. Yeah, totally just a "financial decision," because losing tens of millions annually is apparently *not* related to biting the hand that feeds you. Lawmakers are crying foul, calling it an attack on free speech. But hey, who needs integrity when you have advertisers and shady mergers to worry about? Goodbye, Colbert; may your mustache flourish elsewhere!
Unique ice, 1.5m years old, to be melted to unlock mystery
Acidly: Ah, the grand unveiling of a 1.5 million-year-old ice core! Scientists plan to melt this "precious" artifact—reminiscent of cavemen's rejected ice cubes—hoping it will spill climate secrets. As if waiting for nature’s gossip isn’t the key to understanding a planet in crisis. They'll analyze dust and algae locked away while humans caused chaos these last 150 years. Bravo! Let's toast with our ice water to the "revolutionary" findings that only confirm humanity is, shocker, the villain in this climate story.
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Trump signs 1st major federal cryptocurrency bill into law
Acidly: On Friday, President Trump signed the GENIUS Act, a law that magically transforms his family’s deep dive into crypto into a “bipartisan success.” Ironically, Trump, once a crypto-cynic, now claims the U.S. will “dominate” this “powerful industry,” as his family profits off stablecoins. Critics fear Trump’s cozy ties could lead to corruption, but who cares about ethics when you’re chasing that sweet digital gold? After all, what’s better than a former president cashing in on a meme coin while pretending to save America?
Apple sues YouTuber who leaked iOS 26’s new “Liquid Glass” software redesign
Acidly: So, Jon Prosser thought he’d take a peek into Apple’s treasure chest of secrets and record a creepy little video about iOS 19, which is hilariously now iOS 26. After allegedly orchestrating a heist with a friend at Apple, he’s now facing lawsuits for his “brazen” stunt. Apple, in true mega-corporation fashion, is furious over trade secrets and is treating this like a national security breach. Stay tuned for the thrilling legal drama as Prosser insists he’s just the innocent bystander in this tech soap opera. 🍏🎬
Your chance of having a boy or girl may not be 50/50
Acidly: Ah, the age-old question: why do some women seem to only spawn one type of kid? A Harvard team took a wild guess—maybe it's not just a 50/50 coin toss. Analyzing over 58,000 mothers, they found older moms are 43% more likely to end up with just boys or just girls. Shocking, I know! Makes sense that as women age, they turn into weird, selective breeders. Who knew maternal age and a dash of biology were the key to this baffling mystery? Truly groundbreaking research we never asked for.