Idaho Murders Case Investigators Dispel Baseless Rumors and Theories About Bryan Kohberger
Acidly: Bryan Kohberger’s motive for slashing four University of Idaho students is as clear as mud. After an exhaustive investigation, authorities found no ties between him and the victims—no lurking on social media, no pre-meditation, just sheer randomness. Imagine a Ph.D. student in criminology stabbing in a fit of “Oops, wrong house!” The real kicker? The online mob of sleuths fabricated wild theories while harassing innocent folks. Guess that’s just the true crime fanfare for you: sadistic speculation without a shred of decency.
US cuts short Gaza ceasefire talks and accuses Hamas of lacking ‘good faith’
Acidly: The U.S. is cutting its Gaza ceasefire talks because, shocker, Hamas isn't exactly playing nice. Special envoy Witkoff slammed their "selfish" antics while Israel also yanked its negotiators. Meanwhile, humanitarian conditions are a nightmare—think starving kids—and everyone is pointing fingers. Trump still dreams of a Nobel Prize as he pushes for peace. Just another day where the world's leaders spin and fumble while innocent lives hang in the balance. Keep up the good work, everyone!
'The village will die' - Italy looks for answers to decline in number of babies
Acidly: Welcome to Fregona, Italy, where the local primary school may as well be an abandoned warehouse. With a birth rate of just four kids and shutters on more businesses than you can count, the mayor is pulling out all stops—promising minibus rides and extended school hours. But hey, when parents are more concerned about job security than baby bonuses, what do you expect? Spoiler: the school closes soon. Meanwhile, Italy’s "pro-family" government is about as effective as a chocolate teapot. Good luck populating that future!
The Good Ol'Ads
Mariners acquire Josh Naylor from Diamondbacks in first major trade deadline splash
Acidly: Josh Naylor is packing his bags for the Mariners because who wouldn’t want to trade the sunny Arizona for the constant drizzle of Seattle? The Diamondbacks are officially in sell mode, peddling their first baseman like he's the last used car on the lot. Two minor league pitchers, Ashton Izzi and Brandyn Garcia, are the lucky winners headed to Arizona. Get ready for the 'rebuild' buzzwords as the Diamondbacks discard talent like last year's fashion. Stay tuned for more chaos!
Pro wrestling legend Hulk Hogan dies at age 71
Acidly: Hulk Hogan, the man who turned wrestling into a pop culture behemoth, has died at 71, likely after his heart finally decided it had had enough of the theatrics. From grudge matches to *that* infamous tape, he lived large—yet not exactly scandal-free. WWE mourns, while Trump fawns over "the Hulkster." News flash: he didn’t always play the hero—remember the N-word saga? And yet, they crowned him Hall of Famer, proving that in wrestling, like in life, even the worst can achieve legendary status. Cheers!
SpaceX launches a pair of NASA satellites to probe the origins of space weather
Acidly: In a spectacular display of ambition, NASA launched two satellites aboard a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket, embarking on a $170 million quest to unravel the cosmic enigma of Earth's polar cusps—because, apparently, they’ve been too busy to figure out magnetic reconnection since the Space Age began. These machines are set to measure plasma conditions while we're left crossing our fingers that they prevent another multi-million dollar GPS disaster. Who needs to understand basic solar weather when we can just pray the Auroras look pretty?
The Good Ol'Ads
Live updates: Interest rates are central to Trump’s continuing feud with Fed chair Powell
Acidly: In a display of blind ambition, President Trump endorsed Michael Whatley for a Senate run in North Carolina. Why? Because Whatley is Chairman of the RNC, duh! Meanwhile, Lara Trump gracefully bows out, leaving Dems licking their chops at a potential seat flip. Let’s not forget Thom Tillis’ sudden exit; guess he couldn’t handle the heat! As the political circus preps for 2026, our esteemed leaders continue their chaotic dance around power, badges and glory, indifferent to the wreck they leave in their wake.
Apple's iOS 26, iPadOS 26, macOS Tahoe 26 and watchOS 26 public betas are ready to download
Acidly: Congratulations, Apple fans! Brace yourselves for a wild ride with the public betas of iOS 26, iPadOS 26, macOS Tahoe 26, watchOS 26, and tvOS 26. Sure, Apple decided a fresh year-based numbering system was revolutionary; who needs logical updates? iOS 26 now has the audacity to personalize your Messages and spare you from the pain of real conversations. Meanwhile, iPadOS finally pretends to be useful with desktop-like features. And for your workout needs, meet Workout Buddy, a virtual cheerleader because who needs human interaction?
Just 7,000 steps a day could cut health risks, study says
Acidly: Ah, the age-old treadmill of fitness myths. Turns out 10,000 steps—once a marketing ploy from the '60s—is just a cute number plucked from thin air. New research reveals 7,000 steps is the golden ticket to avoiding nasty things like cancer and dementia. Shocking, I know! Apparently, even 4,000 can make you feel superior to couch potatoes. So, if you were stressing over those high numbers, feel free to halve your guilt—because who wouldn’t want meditative strolls over athletic pursuits? Genius!