After Ghislaine Maxwell Interview, Concerns Mount Over Possibility of a Trump Pardon
Acidly: In a bizarre courtroom circus, Ghislaine Maxwell buzzed with a Justice Department official like a yellowjacket, while a plane circled overhead, proclaiming, “Trump and Bondi are protecting predators.” Because why not? Trump casually sidestepped questions about a potential pardon, claiming he hasn’t thought about it—sure, right after Scotland’s golf trip. Critics worry Maxwell’s new “honesty” might exonerate the former president. Justice? More like a game of tag with high-profile predators.
Cambodia calls for immediate ceasefire with Thailand
Acidly: In a gripping episode of “What Could Go Wrong?”, Cambodia is pleading for an "immediate" ceasefire with Thailand following a delightful two-day cross-border brawl. With 16 dead and thousands displaced, both sides are busy trading blame like it’s the latest TikTok challenge. Thailand's acting PM has ominously warned of a looming war, while their foreign minister insists they don’t need anyone’s help—classic. Who needs peace when you can have chaos? After all, it’s only a century of bickering over borders on the line.
‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned
Acidly: Poveglia, once a plague pit and asylum, is about to shed its gloomy past—because who wouldn’t want a park on a haunted island? Local Venetians snatched it from developers, proving they prefer eerie over eco-friendly. Patrizia Veclani led the charge, declaring this a victory against the ghostly grips of overtourism. Imagine it: rabbits frolicking amid dilapidated hospital relics and centuries of suffering. Sure, it resembles a horror movie set, but hey, at least it's not being sold to the highest bidder. What a win!
The Good Ol'Ads
Fantasy baseball: Reactions to MLB trade deadline deals
Acidly: Ah, the MLB trade deadline – where hopes rise and fall faster than a player’s batting average in July. The Diamondbacks may bid adieu to Eugenio Suarez, while the Marlins might gift Sandy Alcantara to some unlucky contender. Ryan McMahon flees the Rockies to the Yankees, where his glory days are long gone. Expect his stats to plummet faster than Colorado air. And Josh Naylor struts over to Seattle’s T-Mobile Park, where hitting is akin to pulling teeth. Cheers to all the fantasy managers holding empty bags!
How Netflix Took Big Swings to Spread the Word About ‘Happy Gilmore 2’
Acidly: Get ready to relive the '90s, folks! Adam Sandler’s back with *Happy Gilmore 2*, streaming on Netflix, because clearly, originality is dead. Fans are losing their minds over the mere existence of this sequel, despite Sandler’s last few outings being about as fresh as old bread. The marketing machine has churned out collaborations with Subway, U.S. Bank, and even transformed the Times Square ball into a golf ball. Truly, a new cultural low! Who knew fans craved nostalgia wrapped in capitalism? Welcome to the circus.
Widely panned arsenic life paper gets retracted—15 years after brouhaha
Acidly: In an unexpected twist worthy of a sci-fi flick, NASA's 2010 "groundbreaking" discovery of an alien-like bacterium, dubbed GFAJ-1, has been officially deemed a colossal flop. Hailed for living on arsenic instead of phosphorus, it turned out to be just another mistaken identity when scientists punched holes into the claims. Fast forward to 2025, and the journal Science finally admits that the slick debut was backed by shoddy data. Who would have thought a space agency could mess up that badly? Cue the bemused applause from the world of real science.
The Good Ol'Ads
Skydance deal allows Trump’s FCC to “censor speech” and “silence dissent” on CBS
Acidly: The FCC greenlit Skydance's $8 billion takeover of Paramount, paving the way for political puppet shows disguised as news. In a fit of indignation, Democrat Anna Gomez blasted the deal, claiming it was tantamount to government meddling in editorial decisions—because who needs press freedom when you can play government enforcer? Meanwhile, FCC Chair Brendan Carr pretends he’s a guardian of "diverse viewpoints," likely to appease Trump’s fragile ego. Gomez warns that this is just the start of censorship. Welcome to the new normal.
Samsung Galaxy Z Flip 7 review: More screen, more battery but something's missing
Acidly: Samsung's Z Flip 7 brings "exciting" upgrades: a slightly larger front display (now 4.1 inches) and a bigger battery, because who doesn't want an empty promise of "better"? The cameras? Same old 50MP and 12MP — yawn. Flex Window? Fancy name for limited software. Sure, it’s thinner and has a “solid” thunk, but don’t get cocky; the crease is still there. And that battery? It lasts longer but charges at the speed of a sloth. Congrats, Samsung! You’ve mastered mediocrity.
Science Officially Confirmed That The 10,000 Steps Rule Is Outdated. Here's The New Number To Target.
Acidly: Surprise! That mythical 10,000-step goal we’ve all been worshiping like some health deity? Yeah, it’s nonsense. A new meta review in The Lancet reveals you can strut your stuff at just 7,000 steps and enjoy the same health benefits—like lower risks of all sorts of diseases—as those poor souls trudging the extra miles. The number stems from a jogger’s marketing gimmick, not science. So, feel free to abandon that treadmill torture; just aim for a brisk stroll while you drown your sorrows in a donut.