What Kamala Harris’s Decision for Governor Means for 2028
Acidly: Kamala Harris is skipping the California governor's race, leaving her with the chance to run for president in 2028. While ambitious Democrats are already cashing in on the future without her, Kamala is just chilling, nursing a 2024 hangover. Sure, she may have name recognition and fundraising prowess, but let’s not forget her enthusiastic ride on the Biden train. If she runs, her former running mates might just want to knock her off her perch instead of bowing to her. Get your popcorn ready; this dumpster fire just got interesting!
Canada will recognize a Palestinian state in September in latest push against Israel's Gaza policies
Acidly: Oh, Canada. Prime Minister Carney is putting his foot down—two years from now, he declares that Canada will recognize a Palestinian state, after an election in 2026. Because who doesn't love a far-off promise? Meanwhile, over 60,000 Gazans are dead, 89 children starve, and Carney's plan reads like a bad sitcom sketch. Should we bring popcorn? Israel’s ambassador has dubbed Canada "estranged," likely because they've stopped playing nice. In typical fashion, all parties are dancing around the issue while the suffering continues. How noble.
Our Favorite Under-the-Radar Beach Hotels in Spain, Greece, Italy and Beyond
Acidly: Ah, summer in Europe: when every Instagram influencer descends like locusts. If you’re tired of the crowds, here are five hotels where locals occasionally indulge in the nutty idea of solitude. From Serifos’ Nostos, a mere five-minute trudge from 50 beaches, to Porto Ercole’s La Roqqa, an ex-tuna factory that charges absurd rates for a room, nature and overpriced food beckon. In a world of Margot Robbie sightings, these secluded gems promise privacy and the sweet smell of overpriced mediocrity. Enjoy!
The Good Ol'Ads
4 teams in the race for Eugenio Suárez (sources)
Acidly: Eugenio Suárez, the 34-year-old slugger—because who doesn’t want a middle-aged baseball player, right?—is in the limelight at the trade deadline. He’s raising eyebrows with a staggering 36 home runs, second only to Ohtani (who is somehow a god among mere mortals). Teams like the Cubs, Mariners, and Tigers are eyeing him. Suárez’s sales pitch? He’d love a reunion with Detroit, where his career began. But, hey, who doesn’t want to dig up the past? D-backs want "astronomical" returns, so good luck with that!
White House Slams Liberal Outrage Over Sydney Sweeney Jeans Commercial
Acidly: The White House wasted no time diving into the latest drama over Sydney Sweeney's American Eagle ad, which supposedly glorifies her "white heritage." Communications manager Steven Cheung couldn't resist bashing the Left for their outrage over "great genes" instead of just appreciating great jeans—par for the course now. Megyn Kelly joined the fray, proclaiming Leftists are framing Sweeney as a white supremacist for... selling denim. Because apparently, jeans now have a racial agenda. Good luck, America!
A submersible finds sea creatures thriving in the deepest parts of the ocean
Acidly: In a world where sunshine and food are mere myths, researchers have discovered a thriving community of tubeworms and mollusks living at the bottom of the ocean, 31,000 feet down in the Kuril–Kamchatka and Aleutian trenches. Surprisingly, they’ve found larger life forms clinging to survival, defying all odds with a menu of carbon and desperation. Guess there's more to life than Instagram selfies at the beach. Meanwhile, scientists scramble to figure out how these tenacious creatures survive in a food-deprived, dark abyss—real life underwater survival show!
The Good Ol'Ads
Takeaways from the Fed’s latest decision, which got pushback from officials siding with Trump
Acidly: The Federal Reserve keeps interest rates steady, echoing the agonizing indecision of a soap opera—unfortunately, without the drama. Under Trump's incessant bullying, two dissenting governors dared to hint we should cut rates. How daring! Yet, Fed Chief Powell assures us it’s all fine—just "uncertainties" and “waiting" for data. Meanwhile, the economy’s like that trendy restaurant with rave reviews but terrible service. So buckle up, folks! The Fed might cut rates… eventually. Stay tuned for more thrilling monetary policy updates.
Apple will increase iPhone 17 prices by $50 with one exception, says analyst
Acidly: Breaking news! Apple's iPhone 17 models are following in the proud tradition of absurd price inflation. Analysts predict a delightful $50 increase for the Pro variants, because who doesn’t love paying more? The base model escapes this price gouge—good luck deciphering why. As tariffs haunt Apple, they graciously decide to let customers shoulder the burden. So, get ready to shell out $1,249 for a phone that performs the same tricks as last year’s model. But hey, shiny new colors!
Study Reveals The Shocking Amount of Plastic We Breathe in Every Day
Acidly: Great news, folks! You’re inhaling a delightful buffet of microplastics daily—about 71,000 of them, in fact. Forget the spotless air and pristine lungs; you’ll be joyfully choking down your very own credit card worth of plastic every week. Scientists say these tiny particles are infiltrating your lungs like an unwanted houseguest, and trust me, they’re not here to help with the cleaning. Who needs cancer risks and fertility issues when you can spend 90% of your life indoors breathing in your own personal plastic smog?