Hurricane Erin update: Storm set to bring large waves and flooding to US
Acidly: Hurricane Erin is marching towards the Eastern Seaboard like an unwelcome guest at a party no one wanted to attend. With maximum winds of 105 mph—down from the utterly thrilling 140 mph—it's still packing quite a punch. Evacuations are mandatory for the Outer Banks, where residents are being told to “get out now” before the ocean starts claiming real estate. Sure, Erin isn’t set to make landfall, but that won't stop it from crashing waves and soaking your favorite beach. Get the sandbags, folks!
Air Canada reaches deal with flight attendant union to end strike as operations will slowly restart
Acidly: Air Canada, the beloved carrier that thinks it's a good idea to screw over hundreds of thousands of travelers, finally reached a genius agreement with 10,000 flight attendants after they threw a tantrum on strike. The union, feeling brave, declared unpaid work was over—wow, what a revolutionary concept! Flights may resume, though patience is suggested. Good luck with that, as cancellations could linger longer than the Ontario winter. At least passengers can request refunds, a reminder that life can be full of delightful letdowns.
Is it time to ditch the bucket list?
Acidly: Ah, the dreamy bucket list—a cherished fantasy that’s become as unique as a fast-food menu! Thanks to social media, our must-sees now scream sameness, with tourists tying their self-worth to viral hotspots. Italy is fed up; they’re spotlighting 99% of their gorgeous land while 70% of visitors swarm the 1% like locusts. Meanwhile, Japan’s looking to shift from overtourism to “undertourism” like it's the latest diet trend. Just remember, folks, those quaint spots exist precisely because they weren’t popular—until now!
The Good Ol'Ads
Anthony Richardson on losing Colts starting QB job: You have to respect the decision
Acidly: In a shocking twist no one saw coming, the Colts named Daniel Jones their starter over Anthony Richardson, the so-called future of their franchise. Richardson, the fourth overall pick, graciously accepted defeat, proving that “work hard” might just be a euphemism for “try not to cry.” Sure, he insists he’s improving, but given that he couldn’t outshine a guy who flopped in New York, one wonders if "improvement" translates to “better at accepting my fate”—which, spoiler alert, is a bench warmer.
Jillian Michaels Slams ‘Biggest Loser’ Documentary—Denies Caffeine Pills Were Banned, Reportedly May Sue
Acidly: Oh joy, another reality TV soap opera. Jillian Michaels is contemplating a lawsuit against Netflix over their docuseries trashing her, claiming it's "so egregious” she might have to do something, you know, like lawyers exist for. Remember the 2013 caffeine pill debacle on "The Biggest Loser"? Classic! Now she's busy denying allegations and dragging Bob Harper into her drama. If only she spent as much time actually following rules as she does backpedaling. Bravo, Jillian. You've entertained us once again.
Origami Bloom Patterns Could Help Build Folding Structures in Space
Acidly: In a world where kids fold paper cranes for fun, one BYU sophomore, Kelvin (not the science thermometer), is reinventing origami like it’s origami 2.0. He’s discovered “bloom patterns”—because “plant shapes” sounded too basic—perfect for engineering, since who wouldn’t want space structures inspired by arts and crafts? Joining forces with a professor and an artist, they now dream of turning these folded masterpieces into NASA’s next best thing. Who knew paper-flipping could have such lofty ambitions?
The Good Ol'Ads
Air Canada reaches deal with flight attendant union to end strike as operations will slowly restart
Acidly: In a shocking twist, Air Canada has reopened its doors after a weekend of chaos, tossing a meager lifeline to the 500,000 stranded souls it inexplicably decided to abandon. After 10,000 flight attendants finally discovered they could demand pay for their work on the ground, peace was restored with a tentative agreement—praise the labor gods! Passengers can expect only half of scheduled flights restored promptly, but don't hold your breath; full service might take up to a week. Good luck out there!
Made by Google 2025: what to expect from Google’s new Pixel hardware
Acidly: Ah, Google’s about to bless us with their Pixel 10 lineup at their big event, which will feature an array of predictable missteps. Expect four models, including the “specially” folded version – revolutionary! They’ve leaked everything, from specs to that lame blue color reminiscent of last decade. The Pixel Buds 2A are probably more thrilling than your morning coffee, featuring minor upgrades—how innovative. And guess what, the big reveal won’t even lead to a simultaneous sale. Anticipation, folks!
Top pediatricians buck RFK Jr.’s anti-vaccine meddling on COVID shot guidance
Acidly: In a thrilling showdown between credentialed professionals and an anti-vaccine zealot, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) stood up against Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s destructive nonsense. AAP rolled out a vaccine schedule like it was a hot new album, countering Kennedy’s bizarre, misinformation-spreading antics and dodgy advisor choices. Parents can now breathe a little easier knowing that, unlike Kennedy, AAP has the science to back them up. Can we just get through a pandemic without turning children into test cases for conspiracy theories?