Rudy Giuliani hospitalized with broken vertebra after car accident, spokesperson says
Acidly: Oh, Rudy Giuliani, the poster boy for "What could possibly go wrong?" has managed to break a vertebra in a car accident. Good thing he remains âin good spiritsââbecause who wouldnât be after a high-speed rear-end collision in New Hampshire? Itâs just a minor detour from the riveting life of chasing domestic violence incidents. His spokesperson urges us not to spin conspiracy theories; itâs not like a bad karma cloud followed him from his 2020 election debacle, right? Truly, the comeback story we didnât ask for.
Xi and Modi talk friendship in a âchaoticâ world as Trumpâs tariffs bite
Acidly: In a groundbreaking display of friendship, Xi Jinping and Narendra Modi met in Tianjin after seven long years. Amid a chaotic international backdrop where both are feeling the heat from Uncle Sam, Xi did the dance of diplomacy, proclaiming that the âdragon and elephantâ should frolic together. As they held hands across a disputed Himalayan border littered with dead soldiers, one can only wonder if mutual trust was on the menu, or just the usual game of geopolitical chess. Welcome to the warm fuzzies of faux camaraderie!
âNaples is deadâ: How overtourism is hollowing out Italian cities
Acidly: Welcome to Naples, where a shiny bronze statue of Pulcinellaâadded in the 2010sâis now a must-rub for tourists seeking "authenticity." Ironically, locals scoff; this "tradition" is as real as the faux artisanal trinkets sold in overcrowded streets. Overtourism is the new plague, shoving real Neapolitans away as short-term rentals sprout like weeds. Forget culture; it's all about the picturesque backdrop now, while locals scrounge for basic housing. Welcome to the world's largest tourist trapâenjoy your stay!
The Good Ol'Ads
Notre Dame vs. Miami live updates: Carson Beck leads Hurricanes into battle with Irish in top-10 showdown
Acidly: In a thrilling showcase between Notre Dame and Miami, CJ Carr defied his rookie status with a backpedaling miracle throw for a tying touchdown. Meanwhile, Malachi Toney, the âunderdogâ freshman with three catches, became the surprise star. Miamiâs offense stumbled; a missed field goal was just icing on the cake. Christian Gray hobbled off like heâd just run a marathon. Both teams have new net electrical issues, yet it was only a matter of time before reality smacked the QBs in the face. Stay tuned for more mediocrity!
Devon Walker explains âSNLâ exit after calling the show âtoxicâ
Acidly: Devon Walker bids adieu to "Saturday Night Live," slamming it as âtoxicâ with all the warmth of a breakup text. He confesses that both he and the show decided it was time to ghost each other after a tumultuous three-year relationship. Walker's Instagram send-off reads like a therapy session, sharing the highs and lows, from hilarious moments to a dysfunctional family vibe. The "marriage" may be over, but donât worry, the âSNLâ revolving door always has room for new facesâjust donât expect the toxicity to vanish.
SpaceX deploys 28 Starlink satellites into low Earth orbit after launch from Florida
Acidly: SpaceX launched another 28 Starlink satellites, because who doesnât want more junk orbiting Earth? This spectacular feat was accomplished aboard a Falcon 9 rocket, because clearly, 7:49 a.m. is the prime time for satellite dreams. The booster landed safely on "Just Read the Instructions," which frankly sounds more like a warning than a name. With over 8,280 satellites whirling around, I canât wait for the inevitable wifi outages. SpaceX, pioneering the art of space litter since 2019! Bravo!
The Good Ol'Ads
Powerball player misses $1 billion jackpot but still wins big in North Carolina
Acidly: In a stunning twist of fate, a lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) ticket buyer in Monroe, North Carolina, was just one number away from the gargantuan $1.03 billion Powerball jackpot. Hitting four numbers plus the Powerball, they settled for a paltry $150,000. Meanwhile, others across the U.S. got to celebrate their $1 million "wins" like itâs a trophy for second place. The moral of the story? In lottery land, missing by one is a common curseâmuch like optimism itself.
Northern Lights Could Put on a Show for Large Sections of the U.S.
Acidly: Get ready for a celestial light show, unless you're in the unlucky zones shrouded in clouds. A powerful solar flare just blasted off from the sun, promising potential northern lights across the Midwest starting Monday. But don't count your auroras before they hatch! Meteorologists warn of pesky weather disturbances that could ruin your views. So, if you live in cloudy regions, just enjoy the dark; the rest of us will bask in colors while you sit there wondering what you missed. Lucky us.
Common heart drug taken by millions found useless, possibly risky
Acidly: In a shocking twist, the REBOOT Trial, led by Dr. Fuster, has ripped up the old cardiology playbook. The so-called miracle drug, beta blockersâonce the holy grail post-heart attackâmay just be a heartbreaker. For women, taking these pills could increase mortality risks. Who knew? The trial, which enrolled 8,505 patients, revealed no life-saving benefits compared to skipping the blockers entirely. So much for standard treatments! Now, doctors might finally ditch the outdated meds. Cheers to progress!