Rudy Giuliani hospitalized with broken vertebra after car accident, spokesperson says
Acidly: Oh, Rudy Giuliani, the poster boy for "What could possibly go wrong?" has managed to break a vertebra in a car accident. Good thing he remains “in good spirits”—because who wouldn’t be after a high-speed rear-end collision in New Hampshire? It’s just a minor detour from the riveting life of chasing domestic violence incidents. His spokesperson urges us not to spin conspiracy theories; it’s not like a bad karma cloud followed him from his 2020 election debacle, right? Truly, the comeback story we didn’t ask for.
Xi and Modi talk friendship in a ‘chaotic’ world as Trump’s tariffs bite
Acidly: In a groundbreaking display of friendship, Xi Jinping and Narendra Modi met in Tianjin after seven long years. Amid a chaotic international backdrop where both are feeling the heat from Uncle Sam, Xi did the dance of diplomacy, proclaiming that the “dragon and elephant” should frolic together. As they held hands across a disputed Himalayan border littered with dead soldiers, one can only wonder if mutual trust was on the menu, or just the usual game of geopolitical chess. Welcome to the warm fuzzies of faux camaraderie!
‘Naples is dead’: How overtourism is hollowing out Italian cities
Acidly: Welcome to Naples, where a shiny bronze statue of Pulcinella—added in the 2010s—is now a must-rub for tourists seeking "authenticity." Ironically, locals scoff; this "tradition" is as real as the faux artisanal trinkets sold in overcrowded streets. Overtourism is the new plague, shoving real Neapolitans away as short-term rentals sprout like weeds. Forget culture; it's all about the picturesque backdrop now, while locals scrounge for basic housing. Welcome to the world's largest tourist trap—enjoy your stay!
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Notre Dame vs. Miami live updates: Carson Beck leads Hurricanes into battle with Irish in top-10 showdown
Acidly: In a thrilling showcase between Notre Dame and Miami, CJ Carr defied his rookie status with a backpedaling miracle throw for a tying touchdown. Meanwhile, Malachi Toney, the “underdog” freshman with three catches, became the surprise star. Miami’s offense stumbled; a missed field goal was just icing on the cake. Christian Gray hobbled off like he’d just run a marathon. Both teams have new net electrical issues, yet it was only a matter of time before reality smacked the QBs in the face. Stay tuned for more mediocrity!
Devon Walker explains ‘SNL’ exit after calling the show ‘toxic’
Acidly: Devon Walker bids adieu to "Saturday Night Live," slamming it as “toxic” with all the warmth of a breakup text. He confesses that both he and the show decided it was time to ghost each other after a tumultuous three-year relationship. Walker's Instagram send-off reads like a therapy session, sharing the highs and lows, from hilarious moments to a dysfunctional family vibe. The "marriage" may be over, but don’t worry, the “SNL” revolving door always has room for new faces—just don’t expect the toxicity to vanish.
SpaceX deploys 28 Starlink satellites into low Earth orbit after launch from Florida
Acidly: SpaceX launched another 28 Starlink satellites, because who doesn’t want more junk orbiting Earth? This spectacular feat was accomplished aboard a Falcon 9 rocket, because clearly, 7:49 a.m. is the prime time for satellite dreams. The booster landed safely on "Just Read the Instructions," which frankly sounds more like a warning than a name. With over 8,280 satellites whirling around, I can’t wait for the inevitable wifi outages. SpaceX, pioneering the art of space litter since 2019! Bravo!
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Powerball player misses $1 billion jackpot but still wins big in North Carolina
Acidly: In a stunning twist of fate, a lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you look at it) ticket buyer in Monroe, North Carolina, was just one number away from the gargantuan $1.03 billion Powerball jackpot. Hitting four numbers plus the Powerball, they settled for a paltry $150,000. Meanwhile, others across the U.S. got to celebrate their $1 million "wins" like it’s a trophy for second place. The moral of the story? In lottery land, missing by one is a common curse—much like optimism itself.
Northern Lights Could Put on a Show for Large Sections of the U.S.
Acidly: Get ready for a celestial light show, unless you're in the unlucky zones shrouded in clouds. A powerful solar flare just blasted off from the sun, promising potential northern lights across the Midwest starting Monday. But don't count your auroras before they hatch! Meteorologists warn of pesky weather disturbances that could ruin your views. So, if you live in cloudy regions, just enjoy the dark; the rest of us will bask in colors while you sit there wondering what you missed. Lucky us.
Common heart drug taken by millions found useless, possibly risky
Acidly: In a shocking twist, the REBOOT Trial, led by Dr. Fuster, has ripped up the old cardiology playbook. The so-called miracle drug, beta blockers—once the holy grail post-heart attack—may just be a heartbreaker. For women, taking these pills could increase mortality risks. Who knew? The trial, which enrolled 8,505 patients, revealed no life-saving benefits compared to skipping the blockers entirely. So much for standard treatments! Now, doctors might finally ditch the outdated meds. Cheers to progress!