Rudy Giuliani Released From Hospital After Car Crash

Acidly: Rudy Giuliani's latest escapade involves a car crash that could almost be called routine—if it weren't for the fact that it knocked an 81-year-old former mayor off his feet. He’s out of the hospital, boasting he’s in “great shape” despite a fractured vertebra. His driver rear-ended by a distracted teen, just after Rudy played neighborhood vigilante during a domestic incident. His buddy claims conspiracy theories about the crash are uninvited, yet nothing screams “I need more attention” quite like this melodrama. Welcome back, genius!

Searching the Rubble After Afghanistan’s Deadly Earthquake

Acidly: In a dazzling display of nature’s fury, a 6.0 quake turned eastern Afghanistan into a disaster zone overnight. Rescuers, equipped with nothing but determination, sifted through rubble, presumably trying to find someone who might still be alive—good luck with that! The delightful terrain only added to the fun—because who doesn't love landslides when looking for the missing? Mazar Dara? Yeah, it’s a no-go zone unless you're airborne. Because nothing says “we care” like a chopper ride over disaster.

‘Naples is dead’: How overtourism is hollowing out Italian cities

Acidly: In Naples, the statue of Pulcinella, sprouting in 2010, now draws lines longer than the average tourist’s attention span. What locals knew as a neglected bronze relic is now an influencer-approved “must-do” on vacay checklists. Meanwhile, original Neapolitans are being shoved out by a wave of B&Bs—one for every three homes in some areas. So, as streets fill with foreigners pawing at what's left of local life, the city crumbles into an open-air museum and fast-food hell, asking: is this progress or just a farce?

The Good Ol'Ads

Bill Belichick era starts with a bang

Acidly: Ah, Bill Belichick, the genius of the NFL, trying his hand at college coaching. What an exhilarating start! The Tar Heels waltzed down the field for a touchdown—just what you want to see on his first day. Seven plays? Please, it took less time than most of us take to decide what to binge-watch on Netflix. And look who’s watching: legends like Jordan and Moss, probably wondering why they even bothered showing up. At this rate, Belichick may as well start scouting for his next job.

The Rock Sobs as 'The Smashing Machine' Gets 15-Minute Venice Ovation

Acidly: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is allegedly on the Oscar train after sobbing through a 15-minute standing ovation at Venice for “The Smashing Machine.” Yep, the same guy who graced us with "Baywatch" is now pushing artistic boundaries, apparently. With heaps of prosthetics and a backstory of depth—who knew he had demons?—he’s clearly aiming for that golden statue. Meanwhile, Emily Blunt is there too, sharing the tears. God, Hollywood really loves its drama, doesn’t it? Let’s just hope he remembers to flex those muscles at the Oscars.

SpaceX’s Stunning & Unstoppable Falcon 9 Rocket Leads To 9 Rocket Launches In 10 Days & An Eye-Popping Record 30 Missions!

Acidly: In a world craving space glory, SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket just became the overachieving valedictorian, boasting 30 flights—because who needs setbacks, right? In ten days, it launched a whopping nine rockets, most lugging Starlink satellites, proving that satellite delivery is now a more consistent job than most people's. Meanwhile, the X-37B spaceplane is testing quantum sensors, probably to decipher why we keep sending rockets into the abyss. SpaceX: making space more crowded, one launch at a time. Congratulations, humanity!

The Good Ol'Ads

Nestlé CEO Laurent Freixe ousted over inappropriate workplace relationship with subordinate

Acidly: Nestlé's drama just got a refresh! After Laurent Freixe's messy exit due to a forbidden office romance—seriously, who thought that was a good idea?—Philipp Navratil steps in as the new CEO. With a background in coffee and sugary delights, he's probably wondering how much he’ll have to clean up after his predecessor's romantic misadventures. Chairman Bulcke insists they're still on the "right path." Let’s just hope Navratil doesn’t stir up any more workplace scandals while trying to caffeinate the company's growth.

Samsung's massive 85-inch Neo QLED 4K TV just hit a new record-low price for Labor Day

Acidly: Dreaming of a TV that could almost make you feel like you're at the theater without the sticky floors? Good news! You can snag the 85-inch Samsung Neo QLED for a mere $1,697.99—a generous 13% off! And yes, it’s the best price ever because apparently, they realize selling your soul isn’t enough anymore. Enjoy the free “Deluxe Delivery and Unpack.” Because, heaven forbid, you lift a finger. Praise the AI that gives you "stunningly vivid" pictures while you binge the latest mind-numbing shows.

These are the keys to female longevity, according to Dr. Vonda Wright

Acidly: Dr. Vonda Wright's latest book, “Unbreakable,” challenges the notion of anti-aging for women with a sprinkle of reality. Instead of lamenting lost youth, she argues that women, aging differently than men, can thrive. Ladies, tough luck on the "best years" myth—your 35-45 is prime time for strength training and hormone balancing. Forget fad diets; “we’re recomping, not losing,” she says. So, stop stressing about weight—just lift heavy things and maybe eat an extra protein bar. After all, who knew lifting weights could make you feel invincible? #Unbreakable #AgingWithPower