Kennedy tries to defend COVID-19 vaccine stance in raucous Senate hearing
Acidly: In a chaotic Senate hearing, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. dodged bipartisan backlash over his anti-vaccine antics, claiming his ousted CDC director was "dishonest." As shouting matches erupted, Kennedy defended firing thousands and hiring conspiracy theorists to overhaul public health. Senators branded him a “charlatan,” and medical professionals demanded his head. Meanwhile, Kennedy nonchalantly downplayed vaccine science, insisting he’s not waiting for data because who needs evidence? Welcome to public health, where chaos reigns.
Macron says 26 countries ready to send troops for Ukraine ceasefire
Acidly: Oh, great news! A bunch of Western allies gather to pledge troops to Ukraine—just as soon as a ceasefire magically happens. Macron struts around like he’s orchestrating world peace, while Trump flirts with the idea of air support instead of real help. Meanwhile, Putin chuckles in the background, sending more troops into the fray and dismissing the cavalry from the West as mere background noise. Because why not? Nothing screams “solving a crisis” like a bunch of leaders talking while Ukrainians keep dying. Bravo!
Police arrest 2 armed Turkish men ahead of a popular Italian festival near Rome
Acidly: In Viterbo, two armed Turkish men were arrested just before a local festival, because obviously, no party is complete without potential terror. Giorgia Meloni congratulated the police for doing their jobs – how daring! The festival, with its 100 porters lugging a 5-ton structure like it’s a modern art installation, almost turned into a crime scene. But fear not, the interior minister was on it! Meanwhile, Turkish authorities pat themselves on the back for cracking down on crime. Can we have a round of applause for the thrilling world of policing?
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Cowboys vs. Eagles Live Updates, Score: NFC East Rivals Kickstart 2025 Season
Acidly: And so begins the 2025 NFL season, where the reigning Eagles, high on last year's victory, and the Cowboys, freshly polished, collide in a spectacle we all pretend to care about. Early drama: Jalen Hurts dashes in two touchdowns, because why not? Oh, and don't miss the excitement of CeeDee Lamb leading the charge while Jalen Carter gets ejected for spitting. Some might call it passion; others might call it a personal hygiene issue. Tune in for America's favorite distraction: millionaires chasing pigskin while we struggle with reality.
Greg Daniels Was Hesitant to Revisit ‘The Office.’ But Then Came the Idea for ‘The Paper’ — Just Don’t Call It a ‘Reboot’
Acidly: Greg Daniels pitched “The Paper” without mentioning its ties to “The Office,” likely fearing a tidal wave of fans ready to riot. Michael Koman, blissfully unaware, thought he was just signing up for another dull mockumentary about Toledo’s failing newspaper. With Oscar Martinez relocating to handle the chaotic crew, the show is a charming mess of idealism and cynical reporters. Just what we didn't ask for! Binge all ten episodes on Peacock if you can’t resist nostalgia. Good luck avoiding negativity, Greg!
Quakes on Mars Reveal New Features of the Planet’s Interior
Acidly: Mars: the planet that’s like Earth’s slacker sibling. NASA’s InSight lander kicked the bucket, but its findings are still spilling the family tea. Turns out Mars has a solid core and a mantle messier than my last breakup. Violent asteroid collisions? Check. A sluggish mantle that can’t be bothered to create a magnetic field? Double check. Earth may change like a teenager's mood, but Mars? Stuck in a perpetual state of geological adolescence. Next up: studying the moon’s secrets. Stay tuned for cosmic drama!
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Senators grill Trump's nominee for Fed amid alarms over central bank independence
Acidly: President Trump's latest puppet for the Fed, Stephen Miran, breezed through a Senate grilling, all while insisting he won't be the president's marionette. Yet, he plans to moonlight as the White House's fresh economic buddy while soaking up the Fed's cushy seat. Meanwhile, Sen. Elizabeth Warren sounds the alarm, crying about Trump's blatant power grab. So, who’ll really run the show? Spoiler: It’s hard to trust someone who claims independence while keeping a foot in the swamp.
‘Hollow Knight: Silksong’ Is Already Causing Online Gaming Stores to Crash
Acidly: Today marks a historic release: Team Cherry’s long-awaited *Silksong* dropped at 10 AM EDT. Too bad it’s a monumental headache for fans! Apparently, online retailers crashed harder than a toddler with a sugar rush. Steam users are greeted with a lovely blob emoji saying, “Something went wrong.” PlayStation shoppers? The game vanished! 100,000 players are tweeting their frustrations while lucky buyers bask in the joy, exclaiming, “God’s favorite!” Welcome to the new era of waiting, folks!
Experiencing pain? Sanjay Gupta explains why 'It Doesn't Have to Hurt'
Acidly: In a riveting tale of adolescent wisdom, Dr. Sanjay Gupta recalls how he bravely or, let's say, foolishly decided to leap over a fence at age 12, resulting in an impalement that would make a medieval knight envious. He hung there, skewered, until Mom showed up for the dramatic rescue. Apparently, getting stabbed triggered a wave of euphoria — a delightful irony, considering pain usually has a huge party instead. Now Gupta’s penning a book on pain management, proving that enduring injuries is just a prelude to a very clever self-help guide.