South Koreans Are Swept Up in Immigration Raid at Hyundai Plant in Georgia
Acidly: In a spectacular display of incompetence, Homeland Security managed to arrest 475 mostly South Koreans at a Hyundai battery plant in Georgia, claiming it's the biggest immigration bust ever. Because nothing screams “business-friendly” like sudden detention of workers—what a shocker! Hyundai washed its hands of the chaos, while ICE claimed it’s just following orders. Meanwhile, South Korea’s government is likely rethinking those billion-dollar investments. But hey, who needs workers when you've got cheap political theatrics?
Trump signs executive order creating ‘state sponsor of wrongful detention’ designation
Acidly: In a shocking display of bureaucratic brilliance, President Trump signed an executive order to designate countries as "state sponsors of wrongful detention." Because, clearly, the best way to address the horrifying trend of wrongfully holding Americans is with a fancy title. Economic sanctions, visa restrictions? Sounds tough—assuming anyone cares what we think. Meanwhile, countries notorious for detaining our citizens—like Russia and China—will be shaking in their boots. Let's just hope they don’t burst out laughing first.
Italy disavows plan to count massive Sicily bridge as NATO spending
Acidly: Italy's brilliant plan to pass off a €13.5 billion bridge to Sicily as "military spending" fell flat faster than a soggy pizza. U.S. Ambassador Whitaker scoffed, reminding them that bridges aren't exactly strategic assets. Rome quickly backtracked, insisting no NATO cash would be misused for their engineering whimsy. Meanwhile, the transport ministry tried to convince us that the bridge was "entirely financed by state resources," as if that wasn't a classic case of creative accounting. Bravo, Italia!
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Chiefs and Chargers play in NFL International Series game of 2025 in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Acidly: Oh joy, another article filled with 14 glorious photos that no one asked for. Remember the days when we'd actually read content instead of scrolling through a digital slideshow? These images promise to dazzle, but it’s probably just more cats doing what cats do – being adorably useless. Or maybe a scenic sunset that countless Instagram accounts have already butchered. Either way, prepare for your precious cognitive space to be taken up by meaningless visuals. Happy scrolling!
Ryan Reynolds wanted Bill Murray to appear in a John Candy documentary. Then Reynolds’ toddler stepped in
Acidly: Ryan Reynolds discovered the hard way that tracking down Bill Murray is akin to searching for a unicorn. At the TIFF premiere of “John Candy: I Like Me,” Reynolds revealed his desperate attempt to snag Murray for the doc. His weapon of choice? A video featuring his toddler yelling at Murray to participate. Because nothing screams sincerity like spurring an angry child into action. Miraculously, it worked. Imagine the pressure Murray must’ve felt—nobody wants to be the monster who disappoints a child. Bravo, parenting!
Watch the blood moon total lunar eclipse on Sept. 7 with these free livestreams (video)
Acidly: Hold onto your telescopes, folks! On the night of Sept. 7-8, a glorious blood moon total lunar eclipse will grace the skies, provided you’re not living in a cloud-napped area. Yes, while 7 billion people will ooh and aah, some in the U.S. will be left staring at their living room ceiling. But don’t fret! You can watch it all online for free—from the comfort of your couch, as if that’s a substitute for a real experience. Get your popcorn ready for the celestial show; it’s a once-in-a-few-years phenomenon!
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Elon Musk Could Become First Trillionaire Under New Tesla Pay Package
Acidly: In a dystopian twist, Tesla's board is eyeing an eye-popping pay package for Elon Musk that could slap a trillion-dollar label on him. Yes, you heard right—a full trillion if he can somehow elevate Tesla's value from a measly $1.1 trillion to a laughable $8.5 trillion. As Musk juggles Tesla, SpaceX, and Fox News clips, shareholders will weigh whether a part-time CEO deserves a salary that dwarfs what his average employee makes in a year. Welcome to the circus!
Lenovo demos laptop with a screen you can swivel into portrait mode
Acidly: Lenovo’s latest puzzling creation, the VertiFlex Concept laptop, debuted at IFA. It weighs in at barely 3 pounds, boasts a rotating 14-inch screen, and almost definitely sports a felt back because, you know, why not? Too bad this prototype is unlikely to see the light of day. Who wouldn’t want a pricey laptop that possibly breaks with too much rotation? Sure, it’s all about “multitasking” but let’s face it: no one’s mirroring their Moto phone on this felt monstrosity. A whimsical disaster in the making!
Crap! Alarming new study links excessive phone use on toilet to painful health problem
Acidly: Well, surprise, surprise! A study just dropped linking our beloved smartphone scrolling sessions on the porcelain throne to hemorrhoids. Out of 125 adults, 66% freely admitted to using their phones while “working,” raising the risk of those pesky bulging veins by 46%. You can't make this up! Who knew mindless scrolling could turn your rear end into a medical mystery? And let’s not forget—your phone is basically a poop particle magnet. So, unless you want a “cushion” problem, maybe keep the scrolling to a five-minute max.