Trump Is Met With Mostly Boos at U.S. Open as Security Delays a Match
Acidly: Ah, the U.S. Open: where tennis takes a backseat to a presidential circus. As fans line up like it’s airport security, they’re treated to a delightful 48-minute delay because Trump decided he was the star of the show. Cheers and boos intermingle like a bad mixtape when he’s on-screen, confirming what we all knew: he’s a polarizing figure even in a tennis stadium. Meanwhile, fans surrender their deodorant—because nothing says “enjoy the match” like a sweaty line-up and confusion. Bravo!
Ukraine cabinet building hit in largest Russian strike of war, Zelenskyy says
Acidly: In a breathtaking display of either courage or sheer stupidity, Russia launched its biggest attack yet on Ukraine, sending over 800 drones and missiles into the air. A few made it, killing civilians because, you know, why not? Ukrainian leaders bemoan the loss of life while pondering NATO's next move. Meanwhile, in a twist of irony, debris from a Russian drone injured a farmer back home—talk about poetic justice. Great job, Putin! Your strategy of terror really keeps the world on its toes.
Food Delivery Drivers Feel Strain of Italy's Ban on Outdoor Work on Hottest Days
Acidly: In a dystopian twist, delivery riders in Europe are bravely sweating bullets just to bring you your precious poke bowls. As if dodging traffic wasn't thrilling enough, summer heat waves turned their workdays into sweat-soaked endurance tests. In Rome, these gig economy gladiators earned half their usual €30 during government-mandated heat breaks. Glovo tried to sweeten the deal with ridiculous bonuses for working in life-threatening heat—because who doesn’t love a little financial incentive to gamble with their health? Fantastic job, capitalism!
The Good Ol'Ads
Aaron Rodgers: I was happy to beat everybody associated with the Jets
Acidly: In a plot twist that screams irony, Aaron Rodgers, wearing black and gold, showcased a four-touchdown performance while the Jets were busy reminiscing about their bold 2023 trade. A mere four snaps into that season, he ripped his Achilles like a toddler tearing wrapping paper, leading to disaster in 2024 and a new coach, Aaron Glenn, who clearly prefers Justin Fields over a hobbled Rodgers. Following his glorious victory, Rodgers smugly declared he enjoyed defeating “everyone associated with the Jets.” Someone hand this man a crown!
Warner Bros. Makes Box Office History After 7 Movies Open Above $40 Million
Acidly: Warner Bros. is riding a box office wave so high, it could give Sharknado a run for its money. After a string of cinematic flops that would make even Robert Pattinson cry, they’ve miraculously stumbled into success with horror flicks and video game adaptations. “The Conjuring: Last Rites” broke records, while their previous duds tanked harder than a Disney sequel. As execs breathe a sigh of relief, their next gamble, “One Battle After Another,” looms. Fingers crossed it’s not another disaster, right?
See the blood moon rise in 1st pictures of September 2025 total lunar eclipse
Acidly: Ah, the blood moon—a cosmic event that somehow managed to unite over seven billion people in staring at the sky. On Sept. 7-8, Earth decided to play peek-a-boo with its needy little satellite, turning it a trendy shade of red. Photographers scrambled to capture the moon’s makeover, snapping shots of craters and the oh-so-unique rusty hue as if it were a new filter on Instagram. Missed it? No worries! There’s always the live blog to relive the excitement of what could only be described as a glorified shadow show. How thrilling.
The Good Ol'Ads
Murdoch Paper Slams Trump After Disastrous Jobs Report
Acidly: The Wall Street Journal, in a twist of fate, is holding President Trump accountable for the job market disaster he orchestrated. Who knew tariffs were just a fancy way to say "economy killer"? Over 38,000 manufacturing jobs vanished, while social services get a boost funded by government spending—nothing screams success quite like dependency, right? As Trump blames all but himself, his "liberation day" turned into an economic funeral. Let’s hope the Supreme Court delivers the final nail in this tariff coffin.
Porsche’s insanely clever hybrid engine comes to the 911 Turbo S
Acidly: Today in Munich, Porsche wowed us with the 911 Turbo S—because why not spend over a quarter million on a car that promises to be faster than your last bad decision? This hybrid marvel hits 60 mph in just 2.4 seconds, thanks to an impressive 701 hp from its fancy new powertrain. Forget feeling the extra weight; it’s all about that agile illusion, right? And at a cool starting price of $270,300, you too can experience the joy of paying dearly to drive considerably faster on a track. Enjoy!
For some, Medicare isn't covering the updated Covid vaccine yet
Acidly: In a shocking twist of fate, older Americans on Medicare need to pay for their updated Covid shots. Yes, you heard that right. 74-year-old Allison Engel coughed up $225 after being met with a rejection letter at CVS. How charming! Meanwhile, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claims most can snag their shots for free—what a fairy tale! With Medicare still playing catch-up and pharmacies waiting on the CDC, it seems elderly Americans are just bullets in the bureaucratic firing range. Cheers to health care!