Suspect in Charlie Kirk shooting not cooperating with authorities, Utah governor says
Acidly: In a modern twist worthy of a bad teen drama, Charlie Kirk's killer, 22-year-old Tyler Robinson, isn't playing ball with the cops. Why cooperate when you can joke about your own alleged crime? Utah’s Governor Cox, trying desperately to be relevant, states that Robinson’s pals are spilling the beans while he stares wistfully at his own leftist nightmare. Oh, and Robinson's partner—who's in the midst of their own identity transition—has been a shining star of cooperation. Because nothing says "helpful" like confused chaos.
Romania condemns ‘irresponsible’ Moscow after Russian drone breaches its airspace
Acidly: Romania had a thrilling Saturday, as a Russian drone decided to play tag with its airspace during an attack on Ukraine. Apparently, the drone thought it could just waltz in at 6:05 p.m. and do a casual 50-minute orbit before heading back home. Romania scrambled F-16s, which almost downed the pesky spy—but chose not to, because who wants to take responsibility for collateral damage? Meanwhile, Russia just shrugged off the entire incident, claiming it’s all Ukraine’s fault. What a delightful mess!
In This TV Drama, Mussolini Wants to ‘Make Italy Great Again’
Acidly: In "Mussolini: Son of the Century," Luca Marinelli's Duce breaks the fourth wall to seduce viewers into Fascism, promising a love affair with tyranny. Strap in for a flashy, techno-infused history lesson on how democracy goes up in smoke faster than your favorite influencer's credibility. Director Joe Wright tried—and failed—to find a U.S. distributor, proving that even in 2023, anti-Fascism still sends shockwaves. Because who doesn’t want to be reminded that liberty is a shaky, fleeting fantasy?
The Good Ol'Ads
Most of America missed the start of Eagles-Chiefs, even Sunday Ticket subscribers
Acidly: In a stunning display of incompetence, the NFL’s 2025 Super Bowl rematch between the Eagles and Chiefs turned into a ghost show for most fans. Fox, in a fit of utter brilliance, chose to keep viewers glued to the riveting Giants-Cowboys snooze-fest while the Eagles and Chiefs played their hearts out. Naturally, loyal Sunday Ticket subscribers were treated to a big, fat nothing. Ah, nothing says loyalty like a ticket to nowhere. If only the NFL cared as much about fans as it did about ad revenue!
2025 Emmy Awards: The complete list of winners
Acidly: The Television Academy gathered for its 77th awards show, showcasing the best of the 2024-2025 season. Dan Gilroy snagged the Drama Series script trophy for “Andor,” while “Last Week Tonight” continued its unsolicited reign as king of diversity in topics no one asked about. In the comedy realm, Seth Rogen's “The Studio” clinched a win, proving once again that Hollywood's ideas can be as recycled as last week's plot twists. Meanwhile, “The Traitors” took the reality crown, perhaps as a commentary on the industry itself. What a night!
Watch SpaceX launch Northrop Grumman's biggest-ever cargo spacecraft on its 1st mission to the ISS today
Acidly: SpaceX successfully launched Northrop Grumman's ‘Cygnus XL’ cargo ship, because apparently, the ISS was painfully understocked. After a delightful delay that made watching paint dry exciting, this larger, more capable freighter is now on its inaugural trip. Packaged inside are vital supplies like UV light systems to combat pesky microbes and some pharma goodies for cancer. And yes, it will be gripped by a robotic arm, because who's got time for docking? Watch live as the drama unfolds—it's space like you've never seen it... or don't.
The Good Ol'Ads
Markets Gear Up for Series of Fed Cuts With Bullish Bets at Risk
Acidly: Investors are biting their nails, anxiously waiting to see if the Fed will slap their dreams of easy money back to reality. Everyone's convinced a quarter-point cut is a no-brainer, maybe even a wild half-point. Meanwhile, the stock market is playing the long game— betting on continuous cuts until 2026, like it’s a cheap rom-com that never ends. Newsflash: just because job growth is slow doesn’t mean the Fed will rain down rate reductions like confetti. Buckle up, folks; reality might get harsh.
iPhone 17 vs iPhone 16 Pro: Similar displays, distinctly different packages
Acidly: Apple's iPhone 17: a budget model masquerading as a Pro. Both iPhone 17 and 16 Pro flaunt nearly identical screens, but the 17 cranks outdoor brightness to a dazzling 3000 nits. It's like a chip off the old block, sporting the zippier A19 chip and some fancy new gadgets, while its sibling clings to a brushed titanium identity. Cameras? Flip a coin. Selfies? Sure, if you want to seize the aesthetics. Battery? Both will keep you living your mediocre life slightly longer. In a nutshell, choose your poison: basic or wannabe premium.
Ebola vaccination begins in southern Congo
Acidly: Oh joy, another Ebola outbreak in Congo. The World Health Organization has kicked off a vaccination campaign—400 doses for a disease that’s killed 16 people already. Because nothing screams "preparedness" like handing out barely enough vaccines while the country grapples with rebels and chaos. If you’re in southern Kasai, hope you're lucky enough to snag one of the precious doses while wondering if surviving one disaster qualifies as a win in this ridiculous game of survival. Welcome to the Congo—again.