Sept. 21, 2025 - Charlie Kirk’s memorial service
Acidly: In a bizarrely tone-deaf display, Trump took to the stage at Charlie Kirk's memorial, mixing heartfelt tributes with self-indulgent jabs and self-aggrandizement. "The gun was aimed at all of us!" he declared, before shifting to declare his distaste for rivals—because why mourn when you can throw shade? Meanwhile, Kirk's widow exuded grace, offering forgiveness to the killer, an act of kindness that overshadowed Trump's tirade. As attendees yawned and scrolled their phones, it became clear: sincerity and civility are in short supply in the Trump show.
With US backing, defiant Netanyahu vows response to countries recognizing Palestinian state
Acidly: Israeli PM Netanyahu, clearly suffering from an acute case of delusions of grandeur, is playing a dangerous game of annexation poker. With the US in his corner, he’s vowing to fight the audaciousness of countries recognizing Palestine like it's a personal insult. Critiques about illegal settlements? Please, just more collateral damage in his quest for power. While Western leaders wag their fingers, Netanyahu's far-right crew, smelling blood, urges him on. The irony? As he fumbles diplomatically, his grasp on reality seems to slip further.
She’s 94 and dresses in ancient clothes. Now she’s become a tourist attraction
Acidly: In Scanno, the last bastion of tradition is 94-year-old Margherita Ciarletta, or as the tourists call her, “L’Ultima Regina.” Clad daily in her wool gown because nostalgia looks good on Instagram, she’s become the unwilling star of this medieval charade. As visitors knock on her door for selfies, she dismisses the fame, insisting she's just a "normal grandmother." With a who-cares attitude about her rural roots, she still manages chores solo—because who needs modern help? Turns out, she actually enjoys being mildly annoyed by tourists. Bravo, Nonna!
The Good Ol'Ads
Rams vs. Eagles takeaways: Jordan Davis’ blocked FG return for TD ices Philadelphia win - The Athletic
Acidly: In a twist of fate fit for a sitcom, the Rams somehow managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. With three seconds left, kicker Joshua Karty aimed for glory but was met by the Eagles' Jordan Davis, who not only blocked the kick but made a 66-yard dash for a touchdown. Meanwhile, A.J. Brown decided to show up for the second half, pulling in six catches after a shocking first half of invisibility. As for the Rams, well, welcome to the red zone—bring a map, you’re going to need it.
Disney stars Mark Ruffalo, Pedro Pascal speak out to support Jimmy Kimmel
Acidly: Oh, the drama unfolds in Tinseltown. Jimmy Kimmel's suspension has spurred a parade of Disney stars to act like heroic defenders of free speech. Mark Ruffalo warns stock could plummet — oh, how noble! Olivia Rodrigo cries “censorship!” and even Damon Lindelof vows to bail if Kimmel doesn’t return. Meanwhile, Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien join the pity party. All this over a comic taking a jab at a kid’s tragic death. America, truly, on the brink of a renaissance. Keep clutching those pearls, Hollywood!
SpaceX launches 28 Starlink internet satellites from Florida's Space Coast (video)
Acidly: Oh look, SpaceX launched its 119th Falcon 9 mission, sending another 28 Starlink satellites into the void. Because who doesn’t want more junk in the sky? At least the first stage returned safely, landing on a drone ship called "A Shortfall of Gravitas"—clearly a subtle nod to SpaceX's overinflated self-importance. The booster’s been around longer than most of the crew’s attention spans, having flown 11 times already. Meanwhile, humanity can keep waiting for that Mars settlement. Priorities, people!
The Good Ol'Ads
Trump says Murdochs are potential TikTok deal partners
Acidly: In a thrilling episode of "Let’s Make a Deal," Trump spilled tea about saving TikTok. Apparently, the Murdoch dynasty—because who wouldn’t want Rupert’s wisdom—plans to swoop in. Nothing says "American patriotism" like billionaires reshuffling ownership for social media. Meanwhile, China subtly reminds the U.S. that they’re still in the game, asserting their right to manage the market while Trump's brand of capitalism attempts to reinvent the wheel. Brace yourselves; capitalism, folks!
Apple’s iPhone 17 Shows Device’s Staying Power — At Least for Now
Acidly: Apple’s miracle workers have resurrected an "innovative" iPhone, proving that after years in a design desert, they finally remembered how to make a pretty rectangle. Meanwhile, Meta graces us with display glasses—because who needs privacy when you can stream life in real-time? Oh, and touch screen Macs are "on the way," which translates to “don’t hold your breath, but maybe one day.” Cheers to tech brands recycling old ideas while calling it progress!
CDC vaccine panel adds new rules for getting the COVID vaccine in a tense meeting
Acidly: In a chaotic meet-up fit for a sitcom, the ACIP panel bumbled through vaccine access proposals, debating whether to burden Americans with prescription requirements for COVID jabs. The confusing vote yielded nothing, thanks to a tie-breaking vote by the chairman—perhaps he just wanted everyone to go home. Now, vaccines will be harder to get, leaving many scratching their heads—not just from COVID, but from the baffling process. Thanks to new leadership, we can expect a thrilling health policy game of “guess what’s next?” Stay tuned!